


Syn

by XxScarletMaidenxX



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Blood and Gore, Demons, F/M, Hisoka is a good friend?, Hunter x Hunter - Freeform, Illumi has a blood kink, Illumi is the Best, Killua is adorable, Protective Illumi Zoldyck, Romance, The Zoldyck Family Has Issues, Zoldyck Family - Freeform, illumi is best husband
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-01-16 16:02:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 54,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21273887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxScarletMaidenxX/pseuds/XxScarletMaidenxX
Summary: [Preview]His dark eyes stared down at me blankly. I wasn’t entirely sure why he was here. I had thought he was supposed to be busy all day with matchmaking and marriage proposals as Kikyo and Silva thought it was time for him to start looking for a wife and knew several candidates they wanted to introduce him to. From what I’d heard from Zeno, they weren’t going well.“Illumi-sama.” I bowed politely. “Is everything oka-.”“We’re getting married.” He said simply.I blinked a few times as my mind tried to register what had just come out of his mouth. “Um, I don’t think I heard you right. What did you say, Illumi-sama?”“We’re getting married.” He repeated in the exact same simple unaffected tone.My mouth went dry and my heart fluttered unsteadily in my chest. There was no possible way Illumi just proposed to me, well in true Illumi fashion it wasn’t so much a proposal as a simple demanding statement, but there was no way this was happening. The best explanation was that in our most recent sparring match, Illumi had knocked me into some weird twisted coma and I was having some super trippy hallucination. That seemed more rational.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Syn- Age 7  
Illumi- Age 11

I’d spent weeks in this filthy cage being tormented, beaten, broken, ridiculed and taunted by passerby and the handlers at the underground auction. The deep scratches, slashes and gashes adorning my body itched and burned, from the looks of them most were heavily infected. My eyes twitched open, cringing at the harsh sunlight beating down on me from above as I heard the loud shriek of my cage door being wrenched open.

“Hey little demon child, get your ass up, there’s actually someone interested in looking at you.” The voice of one of the sellers growled nearby. I closed my eyes to block out the harsh sunlight and slowed my breathing waiting for the approach of his two lackeys.

I was getting out of this cage one way or another, I didn’t care at this point if it was dead or alive. They’d been drugging me over the weeks, in an attempt to keep me docile so they could torture me for the entertainment of the buyers. Thanks to the fever from my infected wounds, my elevated body heat burned away the effects of the drugs, I was finally in a clear state of mind, hazy and feverish, but clear enough to resist.

I inhaled as the bigger of the two lackeys stepped near me before launching myself at him with the chains shackled to my wrists gripped tightly in my hands. My body moved fluidly despite all my aches and pains. I’d been dreaming of doing this since they’d put me in this god forsaken cage.

He didn’t even have time to let out a panicked squeal as the chains wound around his neck. I flipped over his shoulder, digging my feet into his spine and pulled with all my might, until I heard the sickening crack and squish as the chains snapped his neck and tore into his flesh. His counterpart let out an enraged snarl and attempted to tackle me. I avoided him with ease, loosing my first victim from my chains as I dodged him before lashing out at him with the chains.

“Damn! Bloody demon! I’ve had about enough of you!” The seller roared and I turned as I heard him cock a pistol, stupidly turning my back on the other lackey.

The moment my back was to him, he attacked with a heavy blow to the back of the head that made stars flash behind my eyelids and sent me crashing to the ground. He kicked and punched me as I crumpled on the ground and I struggled to cover myself from his powerful blows.

“We’ll take her.” A deep voice sounded from the direction of the cage door causing my assailant to stop his attack.

My body ached all over, I was sure I had a few broken ribs and I could already see dark bruises forming over my inflamed wound covered body. I struggled to raise my head to turn to the speaker and felt my heart drop. One look and I knew in an instant, he wasn’t a man, he was a monster and by far the strongest being I’d ever seen. His cat like piercing lapis lazuli eyes had me frozen in pure terror.

“Come here, girl.” He beckoned me forward with a hand that looked like it could crush my skull with about as much effort as anyone else crushing a grape in their hand.

I felt something in my wrist give as I pushed myself to my feet. I winced as I took a step, my tibia was fractured, if not broken. My gaze wandered to the man who was buying me curiously. He was a large man, rippling with muscles, his silvery blonde hair was long and hung in loose waves down past his shoulders his bangs falling into his cat like gaze. His eyes flicked in my direction and I felt a cold dread wash over my entire body.

“What’s your name?” He asked me tonelessly.

“Syn.” The seller supplied with a smile, “I told you sir, this child is cursed and we don’t accept refunds.”

“Our business is done.” The lethal man dismissed the seller with a single look. His deadly gaze swept over me once more and I resisted the urge to cower in terror. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. He made no move to touch me, “Keep up.” He turned his back on me and for a split second I thought of running for it. “I’d advise against it.” His deep voice growled ahead of me clearing any thoughts of escaping and finding freedom from my head.

I scrambled to keep up with his long powerful strides, following after him through the crowded auction in silence.

“Where were you born?” He asked as he paused giving me time to catch up to him.

“I don’t know. My parents threw me away in Meteor City when I was a baby.” I supplied softly.

He smirked, it was probably supposed to appear light and jovial, but it only made him look more sinister. “I thought so.” His gaze flicked behind me and I jumped as a short elderly looking man with white hair and a white Fu Manchu mustache appeared out of nowhere. “What do you think?”

The older male looked me over for a brief moment, “She’s sloppy and untrained, but there’s some potential.”

I looked between the two curiously, potential for what?

“Illumi could use a durable sparring partner, and it’s more cost effective than replacing butlers.” The large muscular blonde noted.

“Oh? For Illumi, huh?” The older man pondered as he fell in step with them walking with his hands behind his back. “She looks to be closer to Milluki’s age.”

The two men exchanged looks, “Milluki wouldn’t stand a chance.” The muscular man sighed sounding somewhat disappointed.

What on earth were they talking about? Did they really buy me to be a training partner for someone? Well I guess there are worse things. My feet were bloody and raw from walking on gravel, rough pavement and glass strewn streets, but I managed to keep myself composed as I followed the two men. Even though the shorter man was clearly quite old, I could sense he was more terrifying than the younger one. With either of them around, I’d have no chance at escape.

They stopped at a nice-looking hotel and the blonde turned and swept me up with one arm without warning. He tucked me under his arm and walked into the hotel, to keep me from getting blood everywhere. After a quick walk through the lobby, a trip up the elevator and a short walk, we arrived at a room. I was placed on my feet in the bathroom.

“Get cleaned up.” The blonde ordered me softly before turning to head back into the room closing the door behind him leaving me alone.

Tears welled in my eyes, now that I was alone with my thoughts, I was able to reflect on how dire my situation was. It was quite obvious my companions were strong, monstrously strong, and from the deadly air about them I had a feeling they were assassins. I’d never be free, again. I’d be used however they saw fit, die at the hands of whoever this Illumi person was, a miserable existence.

My gaze flit to the mirror over the sink and I stared curiously at the dirty child looking back at me with a desolate, helpless expression. Her eyes, the color of blood, were brimming with tears and filled with pain, there was dirt, grime and wounds clinging to every patch of skin and her hair was dark with dried blood and other questionable grit and matted atop her head. She looked wild, like a caged beast. I tore my gaze away from my reflection unable to hold the gaze of the broken girl any longer.

I peeled off the dirty, crusty rags that had been adorning my body and sat on the edge of the bathtub to pull the glass and rocks from my feet. Once I was satisfied there wasn’t anything else stuck in my feet, I turned on the water and stepped into the shower. I stared down in wonder as the white tub began to fill with red stained black water. After scrubbing every inch of myself, making sure to get into every infected wound and peel out the crud and other build up before scrubbing them with hot water and soap, I attempted to work on my tangled mop of hair. It took nearly all of the small free bottle of shampoo and conditioner supplied by the hotel to be able to run my fingers through my hair.

Once the water in the bottom of the tub began to run clear, I turned off the spouts and stepped out of the tub. My gaze wandered to the mirror once more catching my reflection. This time, the girl that stared back at me looked battered, broken and docile, nothing like the wild beast that had been there moments before her blood red eyes were dull and lifeless and her colorless hair hung in pathetic waves framing her pale face. I’d come to terms with my fate. I’d never be able to overpower them, and would live the rest of my life at their disposal.

I wrapped a fluffy white towel around my broken body before taking a deep breath and heading for the door, as I twisted the doorknob, it gave and I nearly stumbled not expecting it to open so fast. A small bundle of fabric was thrust into my face and I fumbled to accept it, before bowing my thanks. I was left alone to change and scrambled into the clothing I was given. They smelled clean and the fabric was soft and light, there were undergarments and a simple grey dress along with two rolls of bandages which I gladly used to wrap my feet in, the other wounds would scab over if I left them alone, I’d cleaned out the infected gunk out of all the ones I could reach, so they’d probably be fine.

After changing and doctoring my clothes, I stepped out of the bathroom. The two men were sitting at the small table discussing something. They turned to me as I exited the bathroom.

“Come here.” The blonde ordered softly and though he hadn’t raised his voice or snapped at me, I jumped and scrambled over to his side. He looked me over with a discerning eye and motioned for me to spin around. I did as I was bid. “Some of these could use stitches.” He indicated the various wounds littering my body.

“I think they’ll be okay.” I replied softly.

He accepted my response with a nod before pointing to one of the beds, “Get some sleep, we’ll leave once you’ve rested.”

I hesitated and was about to question him, but a single look from him commanded obedience and I scurried to do as I was told. Once I scrambled atop the ultra-plush bed, I realized just how tired I was. It felt like it had been years since I’d actually gotten a restful sleep and the moment my head hit the pillow, I was out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 7  
Illumi- Age 11

I woke with a start and my heart began to pound in my chest as I realized I didn’t recognize my surroundings. This wasn’t the hotel room. The room was large, but mostly bare save for some furniture. I was lying in a large plush bed with simple grey bedding that was heavenly soft and warm. Hesitantly, I threw back the blankets and slipped from the bed.

The floor and walls were all carved from stone and I could tell from the feel of the air around me that I was underground. There was a knock at the door behind me that nearly caused me to jump right out of my skin. I spun around as the door swung open and felt my heart drop as I spotted the monstrous blonde man with the cat like gaze.

“Come with me.” He ordered me softly and I hurriedly scrambled after him.

“Um, excuse me.” I squeaked as I struggled to keep up with his long strides.

He stopped and turned to me curiously.

“W-What should I call you?” I asked hesitantly.

He thought for a moment, “If you can survive the week, you can call me father, otherwise Silva will do for now.”

Father?! “Okay, Silva-sama.” I bowed my head and he resumed his pace causing me to once again scramble after him.

He stopped at a large metal door and thrust it open with one great shove and from the groan of the door I had a feeling it weighed a lot. “Illumi, this is Syn. From now on she’s your responsibility.”

I hurried into the room after him and paused as I spotted who he was addressing. It was a boy, who appeared to be a few years older than myself with soulless black eyes and black hair. He was tall for his age and thin, but from the looks of him quite strong and agile. His face was expressionless as his dark gaze swept over me before flitting back to his father without so much as a word. Silva shrugged before turning and exiting the room, leaving me alone with the emotionless boy.

We stood in silence for a long moment. Not a word was said and for a moment I was unsure if either of us was breathing it was so quiet. My stomach let out an unpleasant gurgle as it twisted painfully and I gasped and wrapped my arms around my stomach in a meager attempt to hush the sound. How long had it been since I’d last eaten? Those cold black eyes fell on me and I let out a terrified squeak despite myself.

“Gotoh.” Illumi’s voice, while emotionless sounded light land carefree. I wasn’t sure what Gotoh meant and was about to question him when a man wearing a perfectly pressed butler’s uniform appeared at my side.

“At your service, Illumi-sama.” The man bowed.

“Take care of her.” Illumi waved to me dismissively. Was he going to have me killed because my stomach had growled? I tensed as Gotoh turned to me.

“Of course, Illumi-sama.” He bowed once more before ushering me out the door.

I turned to the butler trying to gauge his strength and fighting abilities as I watched him walk at my side. Not a single movement was wasted, his movements were sharp and precise, this man was lethal. Was everyone here a trained killer?

Sensing my gaze, he turned his sharp bespectacled eyes to me, I jumped and forced myself to look at the floor not sure where I stood on the totem pole. Was I a slave? Was I some weird adopted member of the family? Where did that put me in ranking with the help?

“This way, if you please, Miss Syn.” He stopped at a pair of intricately carved double doors and offered me a bow as he opened the door for me.

“Um, thank you sir.” I was unsure how to respond and fell into a sloppy curtsy that caused him to crack a smile.

“You may call me, Gotoh, if you wish, young miss.” He smiled softly and I paused, he looked like a different person when he smiled.

“Thank you, Gotoh-san.” I stepped into the room and stared in awe at the beautiful dining hall. There was a long table with seating for at least twenty people with high backed upholstered chairs, the table was covered with a beautiful white tablecloth with piercing blue embroidery and the entire table was set with pristine place settings.

“Please have a seat, young miss.”

I stared wide eyed at the lavish dining hall before turning to Gotoh, “Is there somewhere, less fancy?”

He chuckled at this, “As you wish, young miss.”

We crossed the dining hall to a secret door in the paneled wall. I followed him down a set of spiraling stone stairs and my stomach growled once more as delectable food smells wafted up the stairs. Gotoh tactfully ignored the unbecoming sounds my stomach was making as we descended the stairs and stepped into an immaculate kitchen. There were so many, pots, pans utensils and appliances I’d never seen before all in pristine condition in the stone kitchen. Fresh herbs hung in baskets along the wall above shelves upon shelves of pantry items, there was a massive walk in cooler and freezer system along the wall next to the pantry items and a cozy table that could seat ten people comfortably next to a giant open fire oven.

A somewhat overweight middle-aged woman wearing a frilly stain covered apron overtop a simple red dress, her unruly curly ginger hair tied back in an old-fashioned bonnet, was slaving away chopping various vegetables at one of the many pristinely clean countertops. She looked up from her task, flicking a pair of dull green eyes in our direction before straightening up once she spotted Gotoh.

“Oh! Gotoh-san, what a pleasant surprise finding you in my kitchen.” She smiled a kind warm smile that instantly made my heart hurt, it was the first time in a very long time I’d seen someone smile so warmly in my general direction. Her gaze flit down a little to me and if possible her smile grew, “Oh, this must be the new little miss.”

Tears welled in my eyes. I’d lived my whole life without anyone showing me so much as common decency let alone true kindness.

“Oh no! Gotoh, what have you done to the poor dear?” The woman cried as she raced over to us and swept me into a warm motherly embrace, “It’s alright, little bird, you don’t have to be scared, Gotoh is really a big softie, I promise.”

I couldn’t help but cry as I threw my arms around the kind woman. No one had ever hugged me before.

“Oh, poor little bird.” She rocked me in her arms and cooed to me softly, “It’s going to be alright.” Her gentle hands wiped away my tears, “Come now, tell me what you would like to eat. I’ll fix anything you like, cakes, cookies, cinnamon buns, brownies, pancakes, steak, beef wellington, shepherd’s pie, anything at all.”

“I’m sorry.” I sniffled and stepped away from her reluctantly.

“Shea, you shouldn’t act so informally with her.” Gotoh reprimanded her softly.

Shea brushed him off dismissively, “Nonsense, the poor thing is absolutely terrified.” She turned to me with a warm smile, “Don’t you worry, little bird, you can come down here anytime you like.” She lifted me with zero effort and set me atop the counter next to where she was working, “Now, what would you like to eat?”

My face flushed with color, “I didn’t know any of the things you listed.” I admitted softly.

“Oh.” Shea frowned, “Poor dear.” Her gaze swept over my various healing wounds, “Alright, how about I make you my favorite breakfast?”

“If it’s no trouble.”

She poked the tip of my nose with her index finger, “Don’t you worry.”

I watched her as she cooked, in awe. She sang as she cooked, songs in a language I didn’t know that sounded warm and homey yet also had a bit of a melancholy edge. Perhaps life here, however short it may be, wouldn’t be so bad if I could see Shea every day. Once she was finished she helped me down from the counter and ushered me to the table in front of the fire before placing a plat of mouthwatering food in front of me.

“You’ve got nice crispy bacon, eggs benedict over a toasted bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon, potato hash and a mixed berry parfait.” She pointed to each item with a smile, “My absolute favorite breakfast.”

“Thank you, Shea-san!” I beamed. When I looked around the kitchen, I noticed Gotoh was missing. “Where did Gotoh-san go?”

Shea shrugged, “Who knows that man is always popping up and disappearing out of nowhere, it’s quite vexing at times.” She ruffled my colorless hair gently, “Eat up.”

The food was so delicious I nearly started crying again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 8  
Illumi- Age 12

I’d been with the Zoldyck family for nearly a year. Illumi had yet to directly speak to me, though I did learn quite a bit from our sparring sessions, even if he almost killed me nearly once a day. Milluki, Illumi’s younger brother, liked to spend his free time annoying me and following me around when I wasn’t training with Illumi. I lived for the moments I could escape the Zoldyck’s and wander down to the kitchens to watch Shea cook and listen to her sing. She taught me some of her the songs in her native tongue, it was a most pleasant escape from a most unpleasant family. I didn’t have to constantly be on guard with Shea, I could let loose and be myself.

After a particularly rough day of training with Illumi, in which he’d sent me flying through two stone walls, for letting my guard down, I lay flat on my back sprawled across the lawn of the garden, gasping for breath. I was sure my spine had been severed, everything hurt and I could feel a warm sticky substance clinging to my back. Illumi appeared hovering over me.

“Sorry, Illumi-sama, I think I’m done for the day.” I wheezed, something was definitely not okay.

He knelt next to me without a word and I squeaked in terror as he swept me into his arms. My heart pounded in my chest.

“I-Illumi-sama, w-what are you doing?”

He didn’t say a word, didn’t even cast a glance in my direction as he carried me into the mansion. We passed a very pregnant Kikyo, Illumi’s mother, who was about to pop any day now and a very curious Zeno, Illumi’s grandfather, the man who’d been with Silva when he purchased me. I had no idea where Illumi was taking me, but decided it was pointless to try to question him as we’d been sparring partners for nearly a year and he’d yet to actually speak to me.

We reached my room as the edges of my vision began to blacken and I attempted to look down at myself to inspect my body for injury only to be halted by a single look from Illumi’s soulless dark gaze. “Don’t.”

My breath hitched in my throat, he spoke to me! He was surprisingly gentle as he lay me down atop my bed before he made his way to my adjoining bathroom to retrieve my first aid trunk. It had become necessary for nearly all of our sparring matches as Illumi had been trained since birth to kill while I’d only picked up my skills as a necessity to survive.

“I can do it myself, Illumi-sama.” I attempted to sit up on the bed but felt resistance and something pull in my chest before I was enveloped in agony. Something had impaled me, and it was still piercing through my body. I fell back with a wince and my stomach churned as my back hit the bed and my ribs screamed in protest, there was something lodged between my ribcage.

He stared down at me blankly for a moment before setting the first aid kit on the bed beside me and for a moment I thought he’d leave it there and be on his way, but instead he surprised me by sifting through the first aid kid to find the supplies he’d need. At least while learning how to kill, he’d also been taught how to fix any injuries he received, not that I could ever imagine anyone possibly injuring him.

Without warning he wrenched a small thin pipe that had been lodged between my ribs, out of me and it took all I had not to scream at the pain that ripped through me. My vision went blank for a moment as I was blinded by pain and I gripped the bed tightly as I struggled to regulate my breathing. He tended to my injury in silence and when he was done, he left without a word.

Luckily my lung didn’t collapse, somehow the pipe had managed to miss the lung, it had apparently lodged itself into me when I’d been exhaling and my lung was mostly deflated, and was having a hard time expanding thanks to the pipe which was why breathing had been so difficult. I could breathe easier now, though every breath hurt.

Though Kikyo and Silva had told me to address them as mother and father, I couldn’t bring myself to do it, neither of them were very nurturing or warm and I was still their property. I was mostly grateful to Silva for getting me out of the human auction, though I wasn’t sure my life had improved all that much, at least there were fewer people inflicting pain on me, but every day was a struggle. If Illumi didn’t kill me one day in our training, I was sure his mother would succeed. She liked to test me saying it was to keep my skills sharp and done out of love, she’d poisoned me on multiple occasions and had even gone so far as to hire someone to try to kill me, because if I couldn’t handle such small inconveniences I didn’t deserve to spar with Illumi. They were a strange family.

Deciding I wanted the warmth and comfort of a maternal figure, I struggled to my feet and hobbled over to my dresser to change out of my bloody clothes, Shea would not be happy to learn I’d almost died, again. I changed into a simple loose fitted green dress, Shea’s favorite color, and slowly made my way to the kitchen.

As I slipped through the secret passage in the grand dining hall and down the spiraling stone staircase, my heart began to pound in alarm as smoke drifted up the stairs. Something was burning! That was impossible, Shea would never burn anything.

“Shea!” I called in a panic ignoring the pain in my body as I tore down the stairs only to cough as I was enveloped in thick black smoke. “SHEA?!” I screamed, something was terribly wrong.

I scrambled to the oven where the smoke was billowing from and hurriedly turned it off before flinging the door open and grabbing the baking dish bare handed. I cringed as my flesh bubbled instantly at the first touch and tossed the dish into the sink before dousing it with water. Where was Shea?

“Shea?!” I called again ignoring my burned hands as I frantically searched the smoky kitchen. My heart dropped as I saw a pool of blood on the floor seeping from the walk-in cooler. “SHEA!”

My hands trembled as I reached for the cooler door, and I felt tears welling in my eyes as I gave a tug, ignoring the pain in my hands and chest as I wrenched the door open. Shea was lying face down on the cool floor with several knives sticking out of her back and one protruding from the back of her head. A soul-shattering heart wrenching scream tore from my throat as I ran to her dropping to my knees in her blood as I frantically shook her.

“No, no, no, no, no! Shea! No! You can’t die!” I sobbed, “I need you!”

Something moved in the kitchen, I could faintly hear someone trying to walk silently, but their shoes made a soft splash as they stepped in the pool of blood. My heart slowed to a deadly rhythm. I didn’t care who it was, whoever killed Shea was going to die. My heart was crumbling, my life had absolutely no meaning anymore, Shea had been my reason to go on, she’d been the only thing good and pure in my life, she loved me, like I was her own flesh and blood. She was the reason I bothered to defend myself in my sparring sessions with Illumi, the reason I struggled daily to cling to life. Tears burned behind my eyelids and I blinked them back furiously.

My hands shifted, using the technique Illumi had taught me, my nails elongating and sharpening to deadly points. I shakily got to my feet as whoever had killed Shea drew nearer. They let out a low whistle as they stepped in the doorway.

“Ah, you must have been the target. Wasn’t too keen on the details, just said the girl in the kitchen.” He laughed. “Oh well-.” He paused as I turned to him, everyone outside of the Zoldyck’s did when they saw me, saw my cursed blood red eyes.

My vision turned to blood, all I could see was red as I felt something primal, guttural and bloodthirsty awaken within me. Blindly, I launched myself at the man slashing at every possible inch of him with my clawed hands as I let out a ferocious shrieking snarl. I lost myself in my blind agonizing rage slashing and tearing endlessly, ripping the man to pieces even after his choked gurgling shouts had ceased, even after I felt myself clawing through the cooler floor.

“Syn!” Silva’s deep voice shook me back to reality, my vision returned and my stomach churned at the carnage. Bits and pieces of flesh, tissue organs and bones littered the entire cooler, all that was left of the man that had been lying before me was a bloody spine, half a jaw and a pair of black shoes.

I was soaked to the bone in blood, there were pieces of tissue clinging to my blood-soaked hair, a strand of small intestine slung across one of my shoulders, and what appeared to be an eye sitting atop my other shoulder. My body was shaking uncontrollably, hot tears and blood streamed down my cheeks as I slowly lifted my gaze from the carnage.

“He killed her.” My voice sounded so meek and broken I wasn’t sure he’d heard me.

Silva looked to the corpse of the chef behind the carnage and nodded his understanding.

“Oh my. Syn-chan, look at the mess you’ve made.” Kikyo’s grating voice chimed from behind Silva and I felt rage burn through me once more, she did this! She hired the man to kill me to test me, and as a result Shea died.

“IT WAS YOU!” I snarled and lunged blindly attempting to dart past Silva to get to Kikyo.

Silva caught me by the neck with zero effort, “Calm yourself.” He turned his piercing gaze to his very pregnant wife. She shrunk back, he didn’t have to say a single word. She’d crossed a line.

Kikyo turned and took her leave as gracefully as she could manage trying to retain a sense of dignity after the slighting from her husband. Once he was sure she was a safe enough distance away, Silva set me on my feet with a sigh before patting me gently on the head.

“I’m sorry, Syn.” Silva said softly as he brushed the eye off my shoulder and plucked away the strand of small intestine slung over me, “Go get cleaned up.”

I stumbled out of the walk-in cooler and paused as I spotted Illumi standing at the entrance to the spiraling staircase. His face was a cool mask of indifference, his eyes as blank and expressionless as ever and he made no attempt to offer me words of comfort or condolement. He held out his hand to me not seeming the least bit concerned by my blood-soaked appearance. My bloody hand slipped into his and I felt a fresh wave of tears as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze before leading me up the stairs.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 8  
Illumi- Age 12  
Killua- Infant (KAWAII)  
Milluki (not that anyone cares)- 7

A few weeks after Shea’s death, I was blessed with a new reason to struggle through life, Silva and Kikyo’s third son, Killua was born. I was determined, that not all of their children would turn out warped and twisted and devoid of love. Killua didn’t have to suffer the same fate as his two elder siblings, Illumi who felt nothing and Milluki who was cruel and foolish. After training with Illumi, I’d sneak to the nursery and sing the silvery white-haired brilliant lapis lazuli eyed infant the songs Shea had taught me.

One evening after a long day of training, I paused as I heard crying from the nursery and limped to the nursery, Illumi had been so kind as to dislocate my knee, causing my patella to shift into a very uncomfortable position and my bones to rub, it was an annoyance more than anything, but every time I put weight on that leg, it buckled beneath me. When I reached the nursery, I froze as I spotted Illumi standing near the crib.

“If you pick him up, I’m sure he’ll stop crying.” I noted as I limped into the room.

Illumi didn’t even look in my direction. He was probably thinking back on the lecture we’d received the day Killua was born about not coddling or spoiling him. They seriously expected him to self soothe from day one.

Sighing, I limped my way over to the crib and lifted the crying bundle into my arms, “Sh. It’s okay, Kil-chan.” I cooed softly before rocking him in my arms humming softly.

Killua stopped crying and I felt tears well in my eyes as he giggled up at me happily. It was my job to make sure he had happiness in his life, to make sure he didn’t turn out as warped as the rest of his family. I sensed Illumi’s gaze and glanced up to find him staring at me blankly his lips pursed together as if he were deep in thought.

“Illumi-sama, do you want to hold him?” I asked him curiously.

As usual, he didn’t respond. Sighing, I limped over to him and extended the still giggling bundle to him. Illumi stared down at the kicking laughing bundle unsure of what to do and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hold him.”

Illumi awkwardly accepted the bundle, holding it away from his body as if it were a leaking trash bag. Shaking my head, I took a step closer to him and adjusted his hold on the bundle, making him cradle the infant in his arms. Killua blinked up at Illumi curiously and I felt my heart melt as he giggled again.

“He likes you.” I beamed.

Illumi looked to me curiously for a moment before staring down at the bundle in his arms blankly and then something miraculous happened that caused my heart to skip a beat in my chest. Illumi smiled down at the giggling bundle.

“Oh, so you do have a heart.” I smirked, “I was beginning to think you were a robot.”

His dark soulless gaze flicked in my direction once more and for a moment he looked flustered, before turning away from me. Killua began to fuss and Illumi looked lost, unsure of what to do to keep him from crying.

“Rock him.” I indicated the rocking chair.

Illumi paused and looked to the door behind me, “Jiji.”

I spun around and felt my heart drop as I spotted Zeno standing in the doorway. “Ah, Zeno-sam-.”

He appeared before me in an instant and I flinched instinctively only to jump in surprise as he gently pat me on the head, “How many times must I tell you to address me as jiji?”

“Sorry, ojii-san.”

Zeno sighed at this, but decided not to waste his time trying to correct me. “What are you two doing?” He asked curiously.

Illumi handed the bundle back to me as Killua started to fuss again. I couldn’t help but smile as I cradled the infant in my arms, rocking him soothingly as I hummed a tune that always put him to sleep.

“Kil-chan was crying.” I responded simply as I placed the now sleeping bundle back in his crib.

Zeno chuckled at this, “Didn’t Silva say not to coddle the baby?”

“And what are you doing here, Jiji?” Illumi asked his voice light but his tone robotic and devoid of emotion.

Zeno smiled wryly keeping his hands tucked behind his back, “Oh nothing.”

“Eh? What are you hiding?” I asked as I heard something rattle.

Illumi vanished from sight before appearing behind his grandfather and held up a fuzzy blue plush kitty cat that rattled.

“Our secret?” Zeno mused causing me to laugh.

“Our secret.” I giggled and looked to Illumi to agree.

He shrugged and tossed the rattle plush in my direction. I caught it and tucked it into the crib with Killua.

“Let’s go.” Illumi said softly and held his hand out to me.

Zeno seemed surprised by Illumi’s actions and looked to me curiously as I limped over to Illumi and placed my hand in his. The moment I put my hand in his he pulled me toward him and swept me off my feet in one fluid motion before carrying me out of the nursery, leaving Zeno to spoil the infant.

“Illumi-sama?” I asked curiously as he made his way toward my room in silence.

“You’re hurt.” He noted simply.

“Thank you, Illumi-sama.” I said softly as we made it to my room and he sat me on the edge of my bed before heading to my adjoining bathroom for my first aid trunk. “You don’t have to take care of me.”

He paused as he dropped the first aid trunk on the bed next to me, “You’re my responsibility.”

I sighed, it was pointless to try and argue with him. At least he was somewhat talking to me. He knelt on the floor before me and without warning cut a thin deep slit on the side of my knee causing me to inhale sharply and hold my breath. It was probably for the best, Illumi was an assassin, he’d make the worst doctor in history with his terrible bedside manner.

He dug his fingers into the cut and shifted my patella back into place before straightening out my leg and bandaging it. When he was finished, he got up without a word and left. I feared I’d never understand him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 12  
Illumi- Age 16  
Killua- 4  
Alluka-3  
Kalluto-2  
Milluki (nobody cares)- 11

Over the years, Illumi found time to continue training with me all while trying to mold Killua into the perfect assassin, which I wasn’t exactly okay with. In our training, Illumi taught me about Nen and I soon found out I was a conjurer, though I was still struggling to master it. I didn’t exactly like the idea of assassins, it seemed weak and cowardly to hire someone to kill someone, and when people did it for revenge purposes it really got under my skin. Was it really revenge if someone else did all the work?

Illumi allowed me to accompany him on some of his assignments. It was the first time I’d left the mansion in years. As we finished our assignment, one early afternoon and prepared to return to the mansion, I spotted some children playing ball on a nearby playground and paused to watch. I’d never gotten the experience of playing, I was on my own through my infancy and toddlerhood and didn’t actually get introduced to human civilization until I was about four, and most humans I came into contact with had been awful. They labeled me a demon, beat and tortured me. One man had carved the word Demon above my shoulder blades, the words turned to angry bubbled up scars and still burned from time to time.

Realizing that I was no longer following him, Illumi turned to see what had caught my attention. He stared at me for a long moment, growing impatient before backtracking, stopping at my side.

“Illumi-sama, do we have to go back right away?” I asked him curiously.

He stared at me blankly, his face expressionless as always.

“I want to swing.” I pointed to the swing set on the playground.

Nothing.

“Please.”

Zero response.

“Five minutes.”

Zilch.

“Three minutes?”

Nada.

“Two minutes?” My voice sounded downcast.

Not even a blink.

“One minute?” I pouted knowing it was futile.

Was he even breathing? Maybe he really was a robot and his systems had shut down.

I waved my hand in front of his face and gasped as his hand reached out lightning fast and caught my wrist in his tight grip. “Illumi-sama?”

“You only have four minutes remaining.” He replied, his voice light but his eyes devoid of any emotion.

I couldn’t help but grin at this as I raced to the playground. No one else was at the swing set so I didn’t have to bother with small talk or explaining myself to anyone and if I kept the sunglasses on my face no one would be freaked out by my eyes. I couldn’t help but laugh as I plopped onto the first swing I reached and shoved off from the ground, hard.

The wind ripped through my long colorless hair as I pumped my legs to swing higher and I smiled as the warm spring sun lightly kissed my skin offering a small amount of warmth in the cool spring afternoon. After a while Illumi appeared at my side and caught the metal chains of my swing causing it to come to an abrupt halt nearly sending me flying in the process.

“It’s been five minutes.”

“I thought you said I only had four minutes.”

He stared at me blankly before releasing my swing from his grip and turning his hand over to me palm side up, “Let’s go.”

Sighing, I placed my hand in his and followed after him, back to the Zoldyck mansion atop Kukuroo Mountain. The return trip was in complete silence, but I’d grown accustomed to Illumi’s cold behavior over the years, so it didn’t bother me too much. When we returned to the mansion I smiled as I spotted Killua and Alluka playing tag in the front garden.

Killua turned, sensing our presence and smiled when he spotted us, “Nee-sama!” He cried, causing little Alluka to turn to me her bright blue eyes widening as she spotted me before her entire face lit up.

“Nee-sama!” She echoed Killua and they both sprinted toward me and I laughed as I caught the pair in my arms.

“Alluka-chan! Kil-chan! Were you playing tag?!” I beamed. “I love tag.”

“Play with us!” They giggled and I turned to Illumi only to find him halfway inside the mansion to report in, apparently, I wasn’t needed.

Killua, Alluka and I played tag until it was time for Alluka to take a nap. One of the butlers served Killua and I lunch in the garden and carried Alluka to her room. Killua told me about his morning training with Silva and Zeno and showed me how he’d already mastered some pretty advanced level assassin techniques.

“You’re amazing, Kil-chan.” I smiled as I ruffled his silvery white hair, “Promise me something Kil-chan?”

“Hm?” His bright blue eyes looked to me curiously.

“Promise you’ll never forget how to smile and have fun.” I choked, my throat felt a little funny.

“Nee-sama?” Killua looked to me inquisitively as I reached for my glass of water, perhaps there was some food particles stuck to the inside of my throat.

I took a big gulp of water and winced as my throat started to burn before realization dawned on me. Kikyo was testing me again, and she’d put Killua at risk, in the process. How could she so casually put one of her children’s lives at risk?

“Kil-chan do you feel alright?” I asked in a panic as my throat began to burn and my skin began to feel itchy and uncomfortable. I had no idea what kind of poison did this, so I had no idea which antidote I’d need from my medical trunk or if I could make it there in time. The wrong antidote could make the symptoms worse and progress more quickly.

Killua nodded, “Nee-sama, are you okay?” He asked worried as I started to cough uncontrollably.

I could taste blood in my mouth. “Kil-chan, get Illumi-sama, hurry!” I choked and quickly covered my mouth so he wouldn’t see the blood streaming from the corners of my lips.

Killua disappeared in a flash and I was claimed by a coughing fit as my insides began to burn. I spit out a mouthful of blood on the ground and curled into a ball as my entire body began to burn. Sweat beaded my pale skin immediately soaking through my simple grey long sleeved shirt and black pants. My breathing came in short shallow gasps as the edges of my vision began to blur. I hated that woman, with a passion.

“Nee-sama!” Killua cried from the doorway of the mansion and I gasped as I was suddenly lifted off the ground and struggled to keep my eyes open as I turned to the person holding me in their arms.

“I-Illumi-sama.” I gasped as my insides felt like they were breaking apart. “M-make sure K-Kil-chan is okay.” My vision began to darken and I felt my body growing heavy. My eyes fluttered closed.

“Syn!” Illumi’s light voice actually sounded worried. It was the first time he’d ever called me by name. My heart skipped a beat and I wasn’t sure if it was an effect of the poison or something else.

“NEE-SAMA!” Killua cried nearby as I felt myself drift from consciousness.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 12  
Illumi- Age 16  
Killua- 4

I woke feeling like I’d gotten laid out by a sumo wrestler. My entire body ached and my insides felt all knotted and unpleasant. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, I was in my bedroom, though there were some slightly new decorations littering the various surfaces of my room. My desk, dresser, and nightstands were littered with various vases filled with flowers, most looked fresh, but there were a few vases where the flowers had started to wither. How long had I been unconscious?

I looked down as I felt something heavy lying across my arm and legs. Alluka was lying across my legs sound asleep and Killua was nestled on the bed on my side with his head resting on my arm. I smiled as I reached over with my free hand to smooth back his unruly silvery white hair.

My bedroom door opened and my heart stuttered in my chest as I spotted Illumi holding a vase of pure white flowers in one hand and a crying Kalluto in the other. His soulless dark eyes fell on me and he gently set the toddler in his arms on the side of my bed before going to place the vase of flowers on an empty spot on my dresser.

“Nee-sama!” Kalluto cried as he attempted to throw his tiny arms around me, his beautiful sparkling magenta eyes filled with tears. It was rare to see Kalluto not attached to his mother, which meant Kikyo was probably confined to her room.

“Kallu-chan.” My voice was a little raspy and it kind of hurt to talk.

Kalluto nestled into the bed on my other side and I couldn’t help but smile as I found myself surrounded by the three youngest Zoldyck children. I’d grown to love all three over the years. It wasn’t long before the youngest was sound asleep at my side and I turned my gaze to the eldest Zoldyck son who was currently leaning against my dresser regarding me with faint interest.

“Thank you, Illumi-sama.”

“Hm?”

“For saving me.”

Illumi shrugged.

“And thank you for the flowers.”

“It was them.” He motioned to the three youngest Zoldyck’s.

“How long was I out?” I asked him curiously.

“Twenty days.” It was the longest conversation we’d ever had. Illumi scooped up a vase with withering flowers and took his leave of the room deciding I was alright with my present company.

Once he was gone, Killua opened his piercing blue eyes and smiled when he saw that I was awake. “Are you okay, nee-sama?”

“I think so. Sorry for worrying you.” I smiled, “Thank you for getting to Illumi-sama in time.”

Killua frowned. “Aniki was angry.”

“Illumi-sama?”

He nodded, “I’ve never seen aniki angry before.”

I wasn’t entirely sure Illumi was capable of feeling anger. “Who was he angry at?”

“Mama.” Killua blanched as if remembering something unpleasant. “I was scared.” He admitted softly.

“Illumi-sama would never do anything to hurt you.” I kissed the top of his head.

“Nee-sama?”

“Hm?”

“Why do you address aniki like that?” Killua pondered.

“Hm. I guess I never really thought of it before, it just sort of happened and I kind of stuck with it, but I suppose it’s out of respect. He’s taught me a lot and I’m very grateful for that.”

“Well I guess this explains why Illumi is no longer destroying things and I have several frantic butlers crying about missing children.” Zeno chuckled from the doorway.

“Ojii-san.” I smiled and Zeno shook his head, he was still irked that I wouldn’t call him Jiji or Jii-chan like his grandchildren.

“Kil. Syn will be fine now, go train.” Zeno nodded to the four-year-old at my side.

Killua reluctantly got up from my bed, “Can I visit later, nee-sama?” He asked.

“Of course.” I ruffled his hair affectionately, “Thanks for saving me, Kil-chan.”

Killua smiled bashfully before flitting out of the room in the blink of an eye. At four years old, he’d already surpassed most skilled adults with his physical strength and speed, he would truly be a force to be reckoned with, when he was older.

Zeno pulled up a chair to the side of my bed before sitting down. His gaze flit to the toddler strewn across my legs. “There’s been a development with Alluka.” He noted gauging me for a reaction, I gave him none.

“What do you mean?”

“There was an incident.”

“She appears to be fine.” I noted as I looked to the sleeping toddler currently slobbering on my knees and shook my head holding back a laugh.

“I wanted to let you know since you’re quite fond of all the children, Killua and Alluka especially.” He said softly and his eyes dulled. “Silva thinks it’s for the best, after the incident that Alluka is confined to her room with only supervised visits.”

“She’s not even a child yet! She’s practically a baby, not a prisoner!” I snarled and Zeno held up his hand to halt my tirade.

“I thought it would be best you hear it from me, rather than Silva when he eventually comes in here and has her sent away.” Zeno lightly pat me on the arm before getting to his feet.

“No one can keep me from her.” I noted solemnly causing him to smile.

“Good. She likes your singing.” Zeno winked before heading for the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 16  
Illumi- Age 20  
Killua- 8  
Alluka-7  
Kalluto-6  
Milluki(nobody cares)- 15

Zeno was right, Silva had ordered Alluka to confinement. Kalluto was back to clinging to his mother’s side and Silva had abandoned Killua at Heaven’s Arena telling him not to return until he reached the 200’s. I’d been moping for a while now. After my outburst at having been told I wasn’t allowed to visit Alluka, and the casualties that ensued when the staff attempted to stop me on Silva’s orders, he agreed I could visit her once a day for a short period of time. It wasn’t much, but Alluka was happy.

The incident Zeno had mentioned was a very rare and peculiar gift or curse. Alluka appeared to be sharing her small body with some other presence and once three of Alluka’s requests were granted, the other presence, who Killua and I had begun to call Nanika, would appear and grant a single wish, as far as the rest of the family knew. However, both Killua and I were able to call out Nanika if we so chose. The incident that had the family worried was when four of Alluka’s requests were denied or ignored, people tended to die.

I sighed as I looked at my reflection in the full-length mirror on the back of my door. Over the years, I’d grown, my petite childish figure was turning into that of a young woman, with curves and lots of raging hormones to go with it. It was the middle of summer, and with the mansion being atop a dormant volcano, it tended to be unforgivingly hot. A frown crossed my lips as I looked at my pathetic reflection. The simple black shorts were far too short for my liking and clung to my waist and bottom in an unseemly fashion, the plain red tank top was tight and hugged my petite waist and voluptuous curves perfectly, though was a little lower cut than I would have liked. My arms and legs were littered with scars, angry red and purple slashed and jagged scars and they glared back at me.

With a final sigh, I shrugged at my appearance and stepped into the dimly lit dungeon like hallway only to feel my heart hammer in my chest as I found Illumi standing on the other side of my door. Over the past few years he’d grown out his black as night hair and it now hung perfectly straight down his back. His dark eyes stared down at me blankly. I wasn’t entirely sure why he was here. I had thought he was supposed to be busy all day with matchmaking and marriage proposals as Kikyo and Silva thought it was time for him to start looking for a wife and knew several candidates they wanted to introduce him to. From what I’d heard from Zeno, they weren’t going well.

“Illumi-sama.” I bowed politely. “Is everything oka-.”

“We’re getting married.” He said simply.

I blinked a few times as my mind tried to register what had just come out of his mouth. “Um, I don’t think I heard you right. What did you say, Illumi-sama?”

“We’re getting married.” He repeated in the exact same simple unaffected tone.

My mouth went dry and my heart fluttered unsteadily in my chest. There was no possible way Illumi just proposed to me, well in true Illumi fashion it wasn’t so much a proposal as a simple demanding statement, but there was no way this was happening. The best explanation was that in our most recent sparring match, Illumi had knocked me into some weird twisted coma and I was having some super trippy hallucination. That seemed more rational.

I lightly pinched myself on the arm and sucked in a deep breath, it hurt. Okay so I wasn’t dreaming. “I don’t understand.”

Illumi stared down at me, expressionless as ever. “You’re going to be my wife.”

I resisted the urge to groan, he thought I didn’t understand what marriage meant. “Um, I gathered that was what you meant, I mean I don’t understand, why me?”

Illumi shrugged in response, “So long as you understand, that’s fine.” He turned and walked away leaving me staring after him with my mouth agape.

I sprinted for Zeno’s room, “Ojii-san!” He cut me off in the hall before I’d gotten too far.

“I assume Illumi proposed.” He chuckled.

“Um. Sure, if that’s what you want to call it.” I grumbled as I stared down at him with my arms folded in front of me, “What’s going on?”

“Do you object?” He asked me curiously and I felt heat flush my cheeks.

“Um. I’m sixteen-.”

“The wedding wouldn’t be for another two years.” He chuckled, “Any other objections?”

I thought for a moment. I was quite certain Illumi didn’t love me and that he was incapable of such feelings and therefore could never learn to love me if we entered into a union, but I admired him a great deal, and he’d never treated me poorly. “Whose idea was this?”

“Illumi’s.” Zeno shrugged.

Thousands of butterflies fluttered insanely in my stomach, why would Illumi want to marry me? “Why?” I asked my voice barely more than a whisper.

“That’s a question only Illumi can answer.” Zeno smiled. “If you agree and go through with it, you’ll really have to start calling me Jiji or Jii-chan.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at this, “Thanks, Ojii-san.”

“Syn.” He stopped me as I turned to head toward Alluka’s room, “You can refuse.”

“Thanks, Jiji.”

He smiled and we went our separate ways. I was breathless by the time I reached Alluka’s confinement room only to groan in annoyance as I heard Milluki’s voice come over the security system, why was he watching Alluka’s room today?

“What are you doing?”

“Open the door.” I sighed.

“Papa said no visitors.” Milluki snapped, he sounded like he was in an extra foul mood.

“And he and I also have an agreement and I get to visit Alluka-chan once a day.” I glared up at the security camera, “Now open the door.”

“No visitors.”

“Milluki, open the door or I’ll open it myself.” I hissed. As my nails shifted into long sharp claws and I threateningly pressed one of my pointed nails to a small patch of skin on my forearm. My Nen abilities were a little extreme and as a result Milluki was terrified.

The door opened and my nails returned to normal as I smiled up at the camera before stepping into the overly bright and cheerfully decorated room. It looked like several children’s programs had gone to war, and the room was the result of their epic battle. Happy little paintings littered the walls, a plethora of plush, dollies and other toys were neatly strewn about the room, there was a playground complete with a sand box, slide and a cute little rope bridge leading from a small fort like tree house to Alluka’s bedroom.

I noticed the butler who’d been assigned to Alluka looking nervous and uneasy. Alluka had probably made a request and the new butler was terrified of what would happen.

“Nee-sama!” Alluka cried as she spotted me and I smiled as I turned to the beautiful little girl with the bright blue eyes and the long black as night hair, she was wearing a cute pink dress that swirled around her ankles as she ran to me.

“Alluka-chan!” I grinned as I caught her in my arms and spun her around causing her to giggle. “What shall we do today?”

“Can we have a tea party?”

“Of course. Anything else?”

“Will you sing for me?”

“Anything else?” I noticed the butler looking wary and terrified thinking that Alluka was making actual requests that would trigger Nanika to appear and couldn’t help but shake my head at this.

“Will you read me a story too?”

“Anything for you.” I smiled as I set her on her feet.

She clasped my hand in hers and we made our way to a small table to set up our tea party. I sent the butler to get tea and snacks and she looked very relieved to be excused from the room.

“Nee-sama?” Alluka’s voice sounded like it was at request mode and I turned to her and lightly poked the tip of her nose as Shea had often done to me.

“Alluka-chan, you aren’t allowed to make requests from nee-sama, because nee-sama’s only wish is that Alluka-chan and Nanika-chan are happy.” I smiled, “Understood?”

Alluka grinned, “Yes, nee-sama.”

“Is Nanika-chan alright?” I asked Alluka softly not looking at the cameras.

Alluka smiled, “Yes. She misses nee-sama and onii-chan.”

“I’m sorry, Alluka-chan.” I hugged her tightly, cradling her against me and rocked her in my arms like I used to when she was a toddler. “Nee-sama misses Nanika-chan too, will you tell her that for me?”

Alluka giggled and nodded as I released her from my hold. “Thanks, Nee-sama.”

I ruffled her dark hair gently. “Which song do you want to hear?” Though I already knew the answer, it was one that always pulled at my heart strings, it was the first song Shea had sang to me, a song in her native language about a girl trying to find a place to call home and a family of her own.

“My favorite.” Alluka beamed.

“As you wish.” I smiled and with a heavy heart, I started to sing.

Alluka stared at me in wonder, her blue eyes bright and a dazzling smile lighting up her angelic face. When I finished she applauded with a cheer before looking to me curiously, “Nee-sama?”

“Hm?”

“Does that song make you sad?”

“Not in particular, it just reminds me of someone who died before you were born.” I offered her a smile as the butler returned with a little rolling cart loaded with supplies for our tea party.

“Do you not want me to ask you to sing it anymore?” She asked me sadly.

“It was my favorite song that she sang to me too.” I smiled, “I’ll be happy to sing it for you anytime.”

We set up the small table for tea, complete with a frilly tablecloth, silly bonnets a plethora of plush guests wearing their own silly bonnets. After tea, we danced and sang and spun around in circles till we were dizzy and collapsing on the ground in a fit of giggles. My allotted time ended and as usual I pressed my luck and stayed with Alluka, though I should have known better with Milluki being the one monitoring Alluka’s room.

As we settled down in a fort we built out of pillows and blankets and I started to read her favorite story, a deep voice boomed over the speaker and instantly filled me with dread. “Syn!”

I groaned and poked my head out of the pillow fort looking to the security camera’s, “Yes, Silva-sama?”

“Come here.”

Alluka hugged me and I kissed the top of her head affectionately before reluctantly leaving her room. My feet dragged as I made my way through the dungeon like halls to the security room. I took a deep breath to settle my nerves and gave myself a quick mental pep talk, reminding myself to remain calm and not lose my temper as it would do me no good.

Resisting the urge to turn and flee, I pushed open the door and stepped into the security room. There were various monitors and controls throughout the room. Milluki was currently spilling out of a small computer chair from every possible angle and looked horribly uncomfortable. Silva was standing in front of him with his arms folded in front of his chest looking incredibly intimidating, though the man probably looked intimidating doing anything. Kikyo was at her husband’s side with a little Kalluto dressed in a girl’s kimono at her side clinging to her dress. Zeno and Illumi, the only two that would ever possibly take my side in anything were conveniently not present.

“Syn, I was informed you granted three of that thing’s requests.” Silva noted calmly.

“That THING, is YOUR daughter.” I glowered, well so much for not losing my temper.

“That thing is not a part of this family.”

“Neither am I!” I’d lost it. I was most likely going to die for my insubordination and complete lack of respect anyway, so may as well give them all a piece of my mind before the inevitable. “She’s not a thing, she’s a child, a little girl and a brilliant one at that. You just don’t understand her and can’t control her so you think you can lock her up and tre-!”

“Syn.” Illumi’s voice sounded softly behind me and I cut off with a squeak before turning to stare at him with wide eyes. He stood illuminated in the doorway behind me with his hand extended to me. “Enough.”

“Illumi, we’re not done discussing this.” Silva said sternly.

“Did you wish for anything?” Illumi asked me blankly.

I shook my head, incapable of speech.

Illumi’s dark soulless eyes flicked in the direction of his father.

Silva sighed before chuckling softly, “Very well. Congratulations on the engagement you two.” He smirked and I felt my face burn at this.

Tired of waiting for me to move, Illumi caught me by the wrist and dragged me out of the room, in silence, as usual. I followed after him quietly still trying to figure out if he was capable of feeling and if so, what he could possibly be feeling at this moment.

“Illumi-sama?”

He stopped and turned to me as we reached my bedroom.

“Why do you want to marry me?” I asked him curiously not sure of what kind of response I’d get or why my heart had suddenly started to race in anticipation at his response.

He thought for a moment. “When I think of you, I don’t only think of how to kill you.”

Illumi thought about me? Wait, Illumi thought about how to kill me? What else did he think about me? I wasn’t entirely sure what I was expecting, but it made my heart attempt somersaults knowing that he thought of me, in anyway, though there was a little bit of hesitation and reservation at the thoughts of killing me, but it was to be expected.

“That’s reassuring.” I turned to my bedroom door and reached for the handle.

“Syn?”

I chanced a glance in his direction and felt a tizzy of butterflies going crazy in my stomach as he stared at me intently.

“You haven’t answered.” He noted simply.

“You didn’t ask.” I reminded him as I folded my arms in front of me.

“Marry me?” It was as close as I was going to get to an actual proposal.

My heart hammered in my chest and I felt a blush spread across my cheeks. I tried to be cool and shrug with a suave ‘okay’, but my voice cracked and instead some kind of indecipherable squeak came out. I managed to nod my head before escaping to my room. Was I insane?! Did I just accept his very strange, very homicidal proposal? He just told me he thought about killing me! I fell against my door and slid to my bottom as I struggled to regulate my breathing.

I was officially mental and I’d just signed on to a lifetime commitment to a soulless, emotionless, homicidal sociopath and for some stupid reason I couldn’t stop smiling. It was all true, Illumi terrified me, but over the years he’d saved my life countless times, without question or ridicule. He never mocked me when I didn’t learn something as quickly as he did when he had learned it, he had never been cruel to me or treated me worse than anyone else. When I needed him, he was there. He was the one person, I could always depend on, and in his own twisted way he cared about me on some level.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 16  
Illumi- Age 20  
Killua- 8  
Alluka-7  
Kalluto-6  
Milluki(nobody cares)- 15

Rain pelted me from above soaking into my clothing, chilling me to the bone as I stood atop the rooftop of an excessively large and extravagant mansion next to the silent and ever expressionless Illumi. It was our first contract since the engagement, I’d been avoiding him ever since that day, not that he’d take notice. I didn’t know how to act around him now, were things going to be different? Should I act differently? Was he going to act differently? Needless to say, my head was a hot mess.

We were contracted to protect the mansion and the rich (not by legal means) family inside, they’d received a threat from a small militia group and were supposedly sending about 20-40 armed men to storm the place. It was a simple contract, most likely a one-person job. Illumi didn’t need me here, but Kikyo had insisted we go together, something about nothing like bonding with your intended while killing under contract. I suppose in its own twisted way there could be something kind of cute about bonding on a mission, if one’s partner was anyone other than Illumi. He took contracts far too seriously, he took everything far too seriously.

If it didn’t have to do with the contract, then it wasn’t worth talking about. I’d learned early on to not talk to Illumi when we were on missions until the job was done. I had pestered him so much with questions on our first mission together he’d knocked me out and left me in an alley for nearly an entire day, though was nice enough to stay nearby in case anything was to happen, but that was beside the point. I’d thought I’d learned my lesson from that and on our second mission was humming to myself, apparently, that was not acceptable either, as he so kindly pinned me to the side of a building with his damn Nen needles.

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end, jolting me out of my reminiscing and I turned only to jump as I found Illumi staring at me intently. Had he been talking to me?

“You’re distracted.” He noted absently.

“Sorry.” I hurriedly dropped my gaze and scanned the perimeter.

A chill ran down my spine and I chanced a glance in Illumi’s direction only to jump as I found his face close to mine. “You’re acting strange.”

I stumbled away from him before straightening up, “I’m fine.”

Illumi looked thoughtful for a moment, but accepted my response with a shrug and returned his attention to the perimeter. We stood in silence with the rain pelting us from above. I resisted the urge to shiver, knowing that if I did he’d notice and think me weak, but it was freezing and he was right, I was distracted and it made it easier to focus on the minor inconveniences I’d always been able to ignore.

“Let’s go.” His voice was soft and toneless, and I followed his gaze, about twenty men had stepped onto the grounds stepping out of a nearby forest.

He gracefully leapt off the roof and I felt my heart stutter in my chest as I watched him land swiftly on the ground below. His dark blank eyes looked up as he realized I’d hesitated and I mentally scolded myself and flipped off the roof landing in a less graceful forward roll as I was too focused on watching him and would have landed wrong and broken both of my ankles had I not fallen into a roll.

Illumi threw me a curious look, he’d seen me land much more gracefully than that thousands of times before. Deciding not to comment on my slip up, he prepared himself for the attack as armed men swarmed toward the estate, more had joined those who left the forest, from a quick glance there appeared to be more than sixty men. That was more than we were originally told. Though sixty or more still wasn’t cause for concern, if our contractor had given us false information, that would pose as a problem.

“Illumi-sama.” I called to him over a roar of thunder as I spotted four military grade helicopters heading in our direction fully armed. It seemed a little overkill for a family, regardless of how they’d obtained their fortune.

Dread washed over me as a horrific thought crossed my mind. What if the contract was a setup and this was some plan to get rid of the two most active Zoldyck assassins? I looked over at Illumi, he was calm and emotionless as ever, taking it all in stride.

“Can you handle those?” He asked me indicating the military grade helicopters, he knew I was capable, but he was asking if I was in the right state of mind and I felt heat burn in my cheeks, he’d picked up on my sloppiness and thought me incapable now.

“Yes.”

Illumi shrugged his shoulders before darting away from me to face the throng of armed men and I mentally cursed myself. I hurriedly scaled the mansion, making my way back to the rooftop in a matter of seconds before retrieving a small thin blade strapped to the side of my leg. Closing my eyes, I concentrated my aura around myself before shedding my simple black jacket leaving me in my soaked black tank top and black pants. I dragged the blade over my forearm in an intricate pattern before envisioning a demonic winged creature with claws, fangs and a spiked tail.

When I opened my eyes, the mark on my arm began to glow and I heard a loud guttural shriek erupt behind me and cringed as the great winged beast flew past me, nearly striking me with its spiked tail in the process.

“Ungrateful bastard.” I hissed, my Nen acted as a portal of sorts, my blood and the summoning circle acted as an invitation, but my Nen gave various beasts from demon lore a foothold into the world, but that didn’t always mean they listened to me, the weaker the demon the stronger my influence was over them. Silva explained to me I was a specialist that I used various Nen types and that was as far as his explanation went in the matter. Zeno was nice enough to help me understand why my nen manifested this way and how best to use it. He surmised it was due to my past before them, the haunting past forever ingrained in my memory all the horrid people who called me a demon, who tortured and beat me because I looked different. The ‘demon’ scar across my shoulder blades burned.

The winged beast luckily thought the helicopters were challenging him with their approach and tore them down with ease. I cast out my influence urging it to attack the men on the ground as more men began to exit the forest, there were at least 80 men at this point. It let out a roar and took a dive toward the ground as I gracefully leapt off the building landing swiftly on the ground below. My gaze sought him out and my heart skipped a beat as I saw him swiftly cutting down his enemies. I retrieved two curved daggers from their sheaths strapped to my thigh and flitted forward slaughtering about ten armed men in the process and disabling their weapons.

No matter how many men I cut down, it seemed like they were never ending. This was definitely not just a case of our contractor having slightly off information, this was clearly an assassination attempt on us. My blood boiled as I paused to ponder this, I had a feeling our contractor was also their contractor. A bullet grazed the side of my neck and I watched in awe as twenty of Illumi’s Nen needles pierced my attacker in the face killing him in an instant. It was overkill, by a long shot, one needle would have been enough with Illumi’s perfect aim.

He didn’t even cast me a second glance as he fought off his own swarm of men, I was hindering him because I was distracted. Ignoring the pain and the blood seeping down my neck, I continued fighting, but paused again as I heard a strange sound, something big was coming, I could feel it in the trembling of the muddy earth beneath my feet.

I sensed someone behind me and managed to roll away from them and avoid getting cut down, my body was cold and tired and I’d lost a significant amount of blood from the wound to my neck and the summoning of the winged beast. Murderous intent was all around me, these men wanted us dead, they weren’t even trying to get into the mansion we were supposedly protecting. Not so gracefully, I managed to roll into a crouch, but gasped as I found myself with a gun barrel in my face.

Strong arms encircled me and I felt myself being lifted away as the gun fired, leaving me unscathed. I chanced a glance to my rescuer and felt my heart skip a beat as my gaze was held by his dark soulless eyes.

“I-Illumi-sama.”

“We’re surrounded.” He didn’t even sound concerned as he flit to the top of the roof with me in his arms.

Once atop the roof he set me on my feet and my heart dropped, the entire mansion was surrounded, there were more than a thousand men, it was like an entire army had been assembled. Even if Illumi could turn as many as he could into Needlemen, we still wouldn’t be able to take them all down. My stomach took a sickening turn as I realized what the rumbling in the earth had been caused by, there were six tanks rolling toward the mansion.

“Illumi-sama? What do we do?”

He shrugged, “Don’t fight when you can’t win.”

I bit my lip to keep from arguing with him, we couldn’t win, there were far too many and they outgunned us. “I could try Cerberus again.”

“You almost died.” Illumi noted tonelessly.

“Well it looks like I might die either way.” I grumbled. “Do you have any Nen Needles left?”

Illumi handed over one of his Nen needles without question, for which I was grateful. His needles were imbued with his Nen and I hoped if I carved the circles with something imbued with his Nen that Cerberus wouldn’t attack him, if I could even summon him. I carved two symbols into the palms of my hands before returning the needle to Illumi.

He regarded me with slight interest as I turned my nails into claws before folding them in front of me so my nails hovered over the inside of my forearms. I dug my clawed nails into my skin and tore down to my wrists before holding my arms out catching the blood in my hands with the summoning circles etched into them. Cerberus demanded a larger blood sacrifice than any of the other demons I could summon.

I envisioned the great demon hound in my head, every last detail of him sharp in my mind, down to the exact number of teeth in each of it’s mouths. There was a slight pull and I winced as I felt as if my lifeforce were being sucked away from me.

“Syn?” Illumi reached out and caught me by the waist as I started to slip towards the ground. “Stop.” He ordered me softly, did he sound worried? Why would he worry? Was he even capable of worrying? The blood loss was probably effecting my hearing.

My palms began to glow and with one glance in Illumi’s direction I knew my eyes were glowing. Cerberus had accepted my invitation. Now I just hoped I could control him enough to get us out of here. A loud monstrous chorus of growls erupted from behind me and I slowly spun to face the great demon hound and all three of its ugly mottled heads.

Cerberus’ cloudy ghostly white eyes stared down at me trying to discern if I was prey or not. My body felt cold and heavy from the never-ending rain, the blood loss and the overuse of my Nen. The winged beast had fled the moment Cerberus had accepted my invitation. I held my hand out to the demon hound and smiled as he sniffed me. His cloudy white eyes watched me patiently, waiting for a command and I felt my heart leap with joy.

“Destroy everything. Kill them all.” I waved to the men surrounding the mansion and each of the heads let out a glorious heart stopping howl before the great beast leapt from the rooftop, leaving a path of death and destruction in its wake. My knees buckled beneath me and I gasped as Illumi swept me into his arms. “He’ll disappear if I lose consciousness, we should leave.”

Illumi nodded and leapt off the roof with me in his arms before racing through the carnage, no more than a blur. The screams of the swarms of men getting ripped apart echoed in the back of my mind as we fled the estate. Once we were a safe enough distance away I allowed myself to slip into unconsciousness.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 16  
Illumi- Age 20  
Killua-Age 8  
Alluka- Age 7  
Kalluto- Age6  
Milluki(nobody cares)- Age 15

I woke in a room that wasn’t mine and, for a fleeting moment, panicked thinking Illumi and I had been caught, but the panic settled once I realized I recognized my surroundings, before starting back up again in full blown panic as I realized I was in Illumi’s room. Why was I in his room?! A scream bubbled in my throat as I turned my head and spotted Illumi lying on the bed next to me, sound asleep. Though I was still in inner turmoil, I couldn’t help but stare as him as he slept soundly beside me. His silken ebony hair splayed out around him and a single strand fell across his face. It took every ounce of self-control I had to keep from making a sound. What was going on?!

His dark eyes fluttered open suddenly and I let out a yelp of surprise. He turned to me his face an expressionless mask. Of course, he wasn’t going to say anything.

“Illumi-sama, why am I here?” I asked him breathlessly as I hurriedly scrambled away from him and crossed the room putting as much distance between us as possible without leaving the room. After a quick glance down, I paused as I noticed fresh bandages wrapped around my arms down to the palms of my hands to cover the wounds I’d sustained from my summoning. My attire appeared to have been changed while I was unconscious and I felt heat burning in my face at the thought of Illumi changing my clothes.

Illumi sat up slowly watching me with slight interest. I peeled my gaze away from him as I realized he’d lost his shirt and was now wearing nothing more than a pair of simple black pants revealing his ripped torso. His shirt had probably been soaked with my blood. He blinked a few times before answering with a shrug, “I was tired.”

I sighed, that didn’t explain anything. Rubbing my temples in frustration, I turned to head for the door. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

As I pulled the door open a hand appeared out of nowhere slamming it shut from behind me with enough force I teetered forward and almost collapsed against the door. I spun around and jumped as I came face to face with Illumi.

“Ah! Illumi-sama, what are yo-?”

He silenced me with a single look. “Are you sick?” Before I could answer he nearly knocked me off my feet as he roughly slapped his hand to my forehead to check my temperature nearly concussing me in the process.

“N-no. I’m fine.” I attempted to open the door once again, but he was immovable and refusing to let me escape.

He lowered his hand from my forehead and my heart started to race as it encircled my neck gently. His thumb lightly grazed the scabbed over wound from the bullet that had grazed the side of my neck. “Your heart is beating fast.” Illumi noted absently.

A mouse being preyed upon by a cobra would also have a racing heartbeat, but I decided not to mention this fact as I attempted to keep my cool composure. My skin beneath his, surprisingly gentle, touch burned. “You did tell me you thought about killing me, forgive me for being apprehensive.”

His grip on my neck tightened and for a fleeting moment I felt true terror, my heart was beating so fast I couldn’t tell where one beat began and another ended. “You’re scared.” He pointed blankly maintaining his grip. It wasn’t enough to restrict my flow of oxygen but I was sure it was going to leave a mark.

“Let go.” My voice came out in a soft breathless gasp.

Illumi released me and took a step away from me watching me with slight curiosity. His dark gaze swept over my neck and he frowned. He looked like he wanted to say something. Before he could open his mouth to convey whatever it was he wanted to tell me, a knock from behind me caused me to jump away from the door.

“Aniki, your guests have arrived.” Milluki’s obnoxious grating whiny voice sounded from the other side of the door.

“Alright.” Illumi responded tonelessly and I held back a laugh I could just see the sour look Milluki was throwing at the door, he’d expected a thank you. Taking another few steps away from me, Illumi retrieved a shirt from his dresser and I averted my gaze as he pulled it over his head to keep from staring at his perfectly sculpted torso.

I looked to Illumi warily as the door swung open, Milluki had a death wish. Why would he dare to barge into Illumi’s room? As usual, Illumi’s face was devoid of all emotion as he stared blankly at the door as Milluki poked his fat head through. His dark eyes narrowed as he spotted me, before turning to Illumi hopefully.

“What did you say, Aniki?” He asked expectantly and I couldn’t help but shake my head knowing full well Milluki had heard his older brother’s response. Illumi was more likely to turn him into a pin cushion with his Nen needles than thank him.

“Alright.” Illumi repeated tonelessly.

“What guests?” I pondered curiously, the entire time I’d been with the Zoldyck’s there had never once been a guest.

Milluki opened his mouth to snap something rude at me but cut off with a slight yelp as Illumi glared at him. Illumi made a move to side step his younger brother, to intercept whatever guests he was talking about and I attempted to sprint after him. He spun around, lightning fast and lightly shoved me in the shoulder, causing me to topple over and land flat on my bottom with a soft ‘oof’.

“Stay.” Illumi ordered before turning on his heel and exiting the room leaving me completely baffled.

I turned to Milluki who still looked somewhat downcast at having been brushed off by the older brother he admired, I almost felt sorry for him “Who are the guests?”

“Why should I tell you?!” He snapped instantly quelling any sort of pity I’d felt for him a moment before.

“If I buy you some limited-edition figurine you want, will you tell me?” I sighed.

He stopped scowling at me long enough to think it over, “Any one I want?”

“I’m sure you know how much money is in my account” I pointed knowing he often kept tabs on me, “So any one you can afford.”

“You never buy anything.” He pointed, “That’s a lot of money.”

“I didn’t say you had to get the most expensive one.” I rolled my eyes.

“Fine. Deal.” Milluki smiled, “It’s your previous contractors.”

“What? Why?”

Milluki’s smile turned wicked, “Aniki wasn’t very happy about what happened, so he had them brought here.”

I felt my heart flutter in my chest, was he going to torture the entire family to death? “What’s he going to do to them?” My throat was dry, they had children.

Milluki looked to me curiously, I must have revealed something on my face. “What do you think he’s going to do? It’s Aniki.” He chuckled.

“Even the children?” I blanched. I couldn’t let him murder innocent children. Shoving off the ground, I sprinted out of the room and headed toward the dungeon that was big enough to hold an entire family.

“Hey! Aniki told you to stay!” Milluki yelled after me, but I paid him no mind, I had to stop Illumi.

My heart pounded in my chest as I descended a plethora of stairs winding myself deeper into the Zoldyck mansion delving into the dungeons where there were a multitude of torture chambers. A shrill scream echoed from down the hallway causing the hair on my arms and the back of my neck to stand on end.

“ILLUMI-SAMA!” I screamed as I burst through the door where I’d heard the scream. There was a family of five all bound and blind folded, each one sobbing hysterically not knowing what was going to happen to them. Illumi was off to one side of the torture chamber discussing something with his father and grandfather and all three of them turned to me as I burst into the room.

“I told you to stay.” He pointed his voice light and devoid of emotion.

“They’re innocent.” I motioned to the wife and three children, “Please let them go.”

Illumi appeared before me in a flash and for a fleeting moment I thought he was going to strike me, and flinched. Bracing myself for impact, I scrunched my eyes tightly shut and tensed all my muscles.

Nothing happened.

I hesitantly opened my eyes to find Illumi staring at me blankly with a small frown tugging at the corners of his lips. He had taken a step away from me, like he had earlier when he’d realized I was scared.

“Syn, it’s not his call to make. It’s a rule. If we let one contractor get away with what they did, then more will do the same. An example needs to be made.” Zeno said softly but with an air of finality. Milluki had lied to me.

I opened my mouth to protest only to jump as Silva shot a glare in my direction before turning to Illumi, “Control your bride.”

Illumi’s eyes narrowed into a glare for the briefest of moments before he lightly caught my hand in his. His touch was soft and gentle as he pulled me from the room. He cast a glance in my direction as hot tears of rage and indignation welled in my blood red eyes. “This is why I told you to stay.” I jumped as he reached out to catch the single tear that slipped from my hold. “You’re too soft when it comes to children.”

“They didn’t do anything.”

“Rules are rules.” He shrugged, but his hand lightly squeezed mine offering me support as he continued leading the way falling silent.

My heart fluttered in my chest. He was trying to comfort me in his own way. We passed my bedroom and I paused, where was he taking me? Illumi stopped once he felt resistance and turned to me curiously before casting a glance at my bedroom door. He gave a light tug on my hand.

“Come.” He was trying to keep me from my room. Why?

I reached for my bedroom door.

“Syn.” His voice sent a delightful shiver down my spine.

“What are you hiding?” I asked him curiously only to jump as my bedroom door swung open and I spotted a butler with a needle filled corpse slung over his shoulder. My eyes grew wide as I caught a glimpse of more needle filled corpses lying in the room before the door clicked shut behind the now startled butler.

Illumi’s grip tightened on my hand and he gave a gentle tug pulling me along behind him in the direction of his bedroom. Had Kikyo tried testing me again? Is that why I’d woken up in Illumi’s room? Why would he protect me?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 18  
Illumi- Age 22  
Killua- 10  
Alluka-9  
Kalluto-8  
Milluki(still don't think anyone cares)- 17

The wedding was only a few days away and I found myself growing more and more nervous. I wasn’t entirely sure how well a loveless marriage was going to work or what to expect. Kikyo had been busy making arrangements for our new lodgings, we were getting an entire wing of the mansion to ourselves. Though I’d been living with the Zoldyck’s for more than ten years, I still had no idea how big the mansion truly was, there were still many rooms and wings I’d never explored.

I sensed someone behind me in the garden, trying to hide their presence, they weren’t skilled enough at masking their presence to be one of the Zoldyck’s or even a butler. My nails elongated and sharpened into razorlike claws. The faint sound of fabric being pulled taught, alerting me to their movement sounded from behind me ,slightly to my left, I spun gracefully and lunged my fingers easily slicing through his neck decapitating him with one swift swipe. Kikyo still insisted on hiring other assassins to test me, she’d been getting slightly more aggressive of late, perhaps she didn’t think I was good enough to marry her eldest son.

“You look lovely, Syn-chan.” Kikyo’s grating voice sounded from the gazebo to my right and I slowly turned to face her with my fists clenched at my sides.

If it wasn’t for her terrible character, I’d have thought her to be beautiful with her flawless porcelain skin, her dark hair and her soft feminine features. Lately she’d been trying to dress more the part of a genteel lady wearing corseted dresses with big poufy skirts, complete with oversized hats. Every day it looked like she was having some kind of Victorian Tea Party with her gowns and matching hats. Little Kalluto was at her side in a black kimono and offered me a meek smile.

“Did you need something, Kikyo-sama?” I asked her struggling to keep the disdain from my voice.

“Syn-chan, you’re going to be my daughter in a few days, surely you can address me as mother now.” Kikyo smiled, though I felt more like I was being preyed upon. The electronic visor she wore over her eyes made it nearly impossible to tell what kind of expression she was truly showing. “You should wear dresses more often.” She’d insisted I dress in a more girly fashion the entire week leading up to the wedding, and had even gone as far as to replace my entire wardrobe with various dresses. Today’s was a simple red chiffon dress that fell to my knees.

“They’re impractical for contracts.” I replied simply before repeating my earlier question, “Did you need something?”

She pursed her lips together and I noticed a nerve twitch in her temple. It irked her that I wasn’t giving her the satisfaction she wanted, I wasn’t lashing out at her for the assassin or giving her any sort of reaction to her pestering. Sighing, she gave in deciding I wasn’t very fun to torment today, “Will you fetch Illumi for me, I have some things to discuss with him.”

“Okay.” I nodded to her curtly before waving to Kalluto “See you, Kallu-chan.” I turned on my heel and headed back to the mansion, slowly making my way to Illumi’s room. 

I wasn’t entirely sure why Kikyo couldn’t have sent a butler to fetch Illumi, or why she couldn’t simply use the intercom in the mansion to call for him or even try his mobile communication device. It was pointless to try and understand her crazy way of thinking, and it gave me an excuse to get away from her, so I was content.

When I reached his bedroom I paused, I’d never come to his room on my own before. Hesitantly I knocked at the door. There was no response, which wasn’t entirely uncommon for Illumi. I sensed a presence within, but heard no response. Was something wrong?

“Illumi-sama?!” I called out as I knocked again, louder this time.

Nothing.

If he’d been sleeping that would have woken him up, but there was still no response though I could sense a presence within the room. “Illumi-sama?!” I pushed open the door fearful of what state I’d find him in.

The room was pitch black. I shuffled into the room and searched the wall for the light switch, muttering a curse under my breath as the door fell shut behind me encasing me in total darkness. I couldn’t see a thing.

“Illumi-sama?!” I panicked as I heard something move near the wardrobe before my heart fell, what if it wasn’t Illumi in the room with me? “Who’s there?” My hand found the light switch but before I could flip it, strong arms encircled me and I was roughly tackled to the stone floor.

My assailant moved with speed and stealth that rivaled that of the best Zoldyck assassins and my heart raced in my chest as I struggled against them. They were strong! Struggling to remember all of my long grueling nearly fatal training lessons with Illumi, I managed to shift my nails into claws and swipe at my attacker as a deadly calm focus washed over me. I didn’t need to see, I could sense their presence.

Miraculously I managed to flip my assailant off of me and spring to my feet before lunging at them, not even giving them a moment to catch their bearings. I felt my hands graze through fabric and smirked to myself, they’d barely managed to avoid a lethal blow.

“Oh? Are you his plaything?” A light masculine voice I didn’t recognize chimed from behind me and I jumped, he’d practically vanished from where I’d been attacking him moments ago.

I turned to slash, but sensed him once again behind me and kicked my leg out behind me as the upper half of my body continued twisting, when my leg made contact with his side I kicked off the ground executing a twisting side flip managing to swing another more powerful kick where his head should be.

He caught me by the leg and I let out a yelp as I was suddenly hurled away from him. My back slammed into one of the posts of Illumi’s four poster bed, winding me in an instant. Before I had a moment to catch my breath and re-orient myself, my attacker tackled me, catching me by the neck with one hand, and pinned me to the bed. His grip tightened as I attempted to break from his hold, cutting off my oxygen supply.

Just as I was about to carve a summoning circle into my leg, the bedroom door swung open casting the room in a faint dim light from the hall, before the lights clicked on, momentarily blinding me.

“Hisoka.” Illumi’s voice came out in an animalistic growl and I shivered beneath my captor’s grip as I sensed a dark murderous aura from Illumi’s direction.

The grip around my throat eased as my eyes began to adjust to the light and I was able to get a look at my assailant. He appeared to be a few years older than Illumi with pale skin, bright bubble gum pink tinted crimson hair, piercing golden amber eyes and wearing a white outfit with black playing card symbols on the front of his shirt in harlequin fashion. There was a clean slashed tear across the front of his chest, had he not dodged I would have split him open. A sly smile danced across his lips as he glanced toward the door in Illumi’s direction.

“I thought she was an intruder.” His voice chimed mischievously.

“Release her.” Illumi’s voice was dark and warped and I was too afraid to look in his direction for fear of what kind of expression I’d see on his usually expressionless face.

The crimson haired man chuckled and released me from his hold before taking a step away from me leaving me gasping for air. Shakily I pulled myself into a sitting position.

“Syn.” Illumi’s voice was soft and light, finally returning to normal, but I still jumped despite myself.

“So, this is your cute little bride.” Hisoka smiled ruefully, though I had a feeling it was just a ruse. He’d probably known all along who I was. Who was he and why was he here?

“Syn.” Illumi’s voice sounded much closer than before and when I turned I nearly jumped as I found him standing at the edge of the bed holding his hand out to me.

My hand was trembling as I slowly placed it in his, still shaken from the entire ordeal. “I-Illumi-sama, who is he?” I asked softly.

“A friend.” Hisoka smiled.

“An ally.” Illumi corrected him without so much as a second glance in the crimson haired man’s direction as he pulled me to my feet. His other hand lightly brushed aside my long-tangled waves of colorless hair before gently caressing my tender neck. His lips pursed into a frown and his dark soulless eyes narrowed into a glare as he looked down at my neck.

“I’m okay.” My voice came out in an almost inaudible squeak, he looked angry. I’d never seen him so angry before.

“Why are you here?” His voice was soft as he addressed me and I noticed Hisoka casting a curious glance in our direction. I didn’t know for how long they’d been acquainted but he seemed to find Illumi’s behavior peculiar.

“Your mother wanted to see you.”

Illumi nodded and lightly nudged me toward the door. I attempted to stop and protest but he lifted me with ease before setting me down in the hallway. He retreated into his room and closed the door behind him leaving me staring at his closed bedroom door frozen in an awed daze. What had just happened?

“Hisoka, do you want to die?” I heard Illumi’s voice growl from within the room and felt my heart begin to race in my chest.

“Harmless fun.” Hisoka chuckled in response, though his voice sounded somewhat uneasy.

A soft gasp escaped me and I felt my face flush with heat as I heard Illumi’s sharp response, “Touch her again and I will kill you.”

The door was wrenched open after this and I couldn’t help but jump as Illumi stepped out of his room regarding me with curiosity as he nearly walked into me. I hadn’t moved from where he’d left me. “I’m sorr-.” I squeaked but he cut me off with a single look.

“Your face is red.” He noted absently and I felt my face begin to burn from embarrassment.

“It’s nothing.” I squeaked and hurriedly hid behind my sheets of pale hair.

Illumi hesitated for a moment but decided to see what his mother wanted and disappeared down the hall. I sensed a presence behind me and turned as Hisoka appeared in the doorway with a mischievous smile.

“How scary.” He chuckled softly, “He’s quite protective of you.” His golden amber eyes regarded me with interest.

Warily, I took a step away from him deciding to keep some distance between us. I still wasn’t sure if he was a trustworthy person, he’d known my identity and had still attacked me. His bright eyes danced with amusement as he watched me step away from him.

“I have to admit he was right, you are cute.” He pointed and I knew my face had to be a blazing shade of scarlet by this point. Illumi said I was cute?! Illumi talked about me with someone? Why would he do that?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 18  
Illumi- Age 22  
Killua- 10  
Alluka-9  
Kalluto-8  
Milluki(there’s potentially 1.5 people who care, though I'm sure they only care about the anime collection)- 17

On the day of our wedding, I didn’t know whether to cry, run away, or be sick. My nerves were on edge the entire day. Kikyo had been kind enough to have me awoken by five assassins that had tried to kill me in my sleep, before she barged into my room insisting I allow her to help me with my hair and makeup. She had the butlers clean up the corpses of the assassins that had attacked me while she helped me tame my long pale colorless wavy hair.

Once I’d finally managed to shake off Kikyo, who would not stop talking about how she couldn’t wait for grandchildren and kept giving me reminders to be a dutiful and obedient wife to her son and mother to her grandchildren, I’d had about enough I could take of people. There was a knock at my door as I finished slipping into my simple sleek white satin gown. It was simple and basic the only details being the sheer back with the few decorative silver lined leaf like filigree atop the sheer material. The skirt was long but not obnoxious and poufy. Who could possibly be at my door?

“Come in.” I called as I slipped on a pair of simple white flats. If Kikyo had any more surprises planned for me throughout the day, I didn’t want to be caught in a dress AND heels.

“Nee-sama!” Alluka cheered as she raced into my room wearing a beautiful emerald green satin dress. “You look beautiful!” She beamed as she ran to hug me. Silva had agreed to let Alluka be a part of the wedding as part of his gift to me, for which I was grateful.

I caught her in my arms and hugged her, “Alluka-chan! You look so cute! I love that color on you.”

Alluka grinned up at me, “Nanika said it would make you happy.”

“That was very thoughtful of her, it does make me happy. It was Shea’s favorite color.” I smiled.

“The lady that used to sing to you?” Alluka asked curiously before turning to the door expectantly, “Onii-chan what are you doing?”

I followed her gaze to the door and laughed as I spotted Killua standing in the doorway with his hands over his eyes. “Kil-chan? Why are you covering your eyes?”

“I thought it was bad luck for guys to see the bride before the wedding.”

“I think that only applies to the groom.” I laughed.

Killua reluctantly stepped into the room and removed his hands from his eyes before staring at me with wide eyes. “Nee-sama, you look like a princess.”

“You clean up pretty nicely, yourself.” I smiled beckoning to the sleek black suit he was wearing with an emerald green vest that matched Alluka’s dress.

“Nee-sama?” Killua asked softly as Alluka and I spun around the room giggling. We paused our twirling and turned to him curiously, “Do you and aniki love each other?”

“It’s complicated.” I sighed. In all honesty, I did have feelings for Illumi, strong feelings, but he was impossible to read. I knew he cared about me on some level and that he’d protect me and keep me safe, but I had no idea how he felt about me.

Killua and Alluka helped me finish getting ready and we headed upstairs to the garden for the ceremony with Killua and Alluka each capturing one of my hands. We walked hand in hand and for a fleeting moment I could forget about the Zoldyck’s that made my life miserable, it was just the three of us with no worries or overbearing patriarchs or matriarchs that felt the need to control everything.

When we reached the sun room that exited to the garden where I was supposed to make my entrance from, Killua and Alluka hugged me one last time before heading off to take their seats. Once the kids had left, I sensed a presence behind me and tensed spinning around shifting my nails into claws, but paused as I spotted Zeno with his arms folded behind his back wearing a black suit with a bright emerald green tie matching Killua and Alluka.

“Jiji.” I smiled and my hands returned to normal.

“It’s not too late to run.” He noted as he offered me his arm.

“You going to hold off the others for me, while I escape?” I teased him.

“If need be.” He replied seriously.

“Jiji, I couldn’t do that to Illumi-sama, or the kids.”

“You have feelings for him, don’t you?” He asked curiously and chuckled as my cheeks flushed with color. “Then you have my blessing.” He smiled as he tucked my arm into his and led me toward the door.

My heart was pounding as two butlers opened the double doors of the sunroom and we stepped into the garden and made our way to the gazebo. As we rounded the corner of the garden and the gazebo came into view I felt my heart stop as I spotted Illumi standing in the gazebo wearing a sleek black tux that fit his perfectly molded torso like a glove. His long silken raven hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail that made him look more distinguished. He looked like a love interest from some romance novel from the late 1800’s and it made my heart flutter insanely in my chest. His dark gaze met mine and for a moment I forgot how to breathe.

The rest of the Zoldyck’s were sitting in simple white chairs in the garden facing the gazebo. Kikyo was sobbing dramatically. Silva looked as if he couldn’t wait to leave, Milluki scowled at me, Alluka, Killua and Kalluto all smiled brightly at me and I couldn’t help but smile back at the three youngest Zoldyck’s. Zeno led me down the aisle before handing me off to Illumi at the gazebo. As usual Illumi’s face was devoid of emotion as he took my hand in his and led me to a small podium where Gotoh was waiting to officiate the ceremony.

I wasn’t entirely sure what sort of wedding ceremony I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t as short and uneventful as what had transpired. We signed a contract, listened to Gotoh say some nice words, exchanged rings, then said I do. It lasted all of five minutes, due mostly in part to a malfunctioning pen, then it was over. Kikyo shooed us away to our private, west wing. There was no kiss, no speeches, no bloodshed, no music, no dancing and no cake.

Illumi swept me off my feet at the altar and carried me to our new living quarters, without a word. The west wing, which I’d never explored before appeared to have been newly remodeled in all new modern architecture. The main corridor was lined with bright abstract works of art mixed with scenic black and white photographs and opened into a gigantic sitting room with insanely high ceilings, it was large and open and one wall of the vast sitting room was nothing but glass, there was a set of staris leading to a loft overhead with a cozier lounge area with book cases, on the ground floor there was a sleek black sofa with a slew of grey and black pillows sitting in front of a modern black fireplace. Past the stairwell was a small kitchen and dining area separated from the sitting room by one of the biggest fish tanks I’d ever seen, filled with an array of colorful exotic fish and coral.

“Illumi-sama?” I asked curiously as he set me on my feet next to the fireplace before heading up the stairs to the loft, without a word.

“Hm?” He paused halfway up the stairs.

I bit my lip unsure of what to do or say, I noticed him unbuttoning the jacket of his tuxedo and threw him a curious look, “What are you doing?”

“I have a contract.” He shrugged before turning and heading up the stairs.

“Do you need help?” I asked curiously, knowing it was a stupid question, he never needed help he usually just let me tag along with him so I had an excuse to get out of the house, I was never of much use to him.

“No.” He replied simply from the loft and I felt a slight pang of rejection in my chest, before shrugging it off. I slowly made my way up to the loft and was surprised to find that the cozy sitting room in the loft acted as the foyer for the master bedroom, tucked neatly behind it, there was a huge canopy bed with white black and red hangings and sheets, two large walk-in closets, two black dressers and two black night stands on either side of the bed and a door that led to an immaculate master bathroom .

Illumi stepped out of his walk-in closet, his tuxedo replaced with a what looked almost like an acrobat’s outfit in black with red accents and his hair lying flat down his back. His dark expressionless gaze fell on me as I looked around the room curiously. He hesitated for a moment before approaching me slowly.

I jumped as he appeared at my side and held my breath as his hand suddenly lashed out only to gasp as a single white lily appeared in his hand with a simple flick of his wrist. He extended the bloom to me without a word and I smiled softly as I accepted it.

“Thank you, Illumi-sama.”

“I’ll be back late.” He replied softly before taking his leave.

I felt alone in the big empty wing. Silva and Kikyo wouldn’t let the children come to play on my wedding night, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to have any visitors, and I was sure I wouldn’t be welcome outside of my new cell, so resigned myself to stay put and wait for Illumi to return. Placing the lily on my nightstand, I stepped into my own walk in closet praying that Kikyo hadn’t filled it with nothing but dresses. I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw other garments aside from dresses and found something comfy to change into. Deciding on a pair of black sweatpants and a comfy red sweatshirt as it was slightly chilly in the west wing, I changed quickly and carefully hung my wedding gown before heading back into the bedroom. Taking the bloom from my nightstand I went to explore the kitchen in search of a vase to put it in.

Settling on a glass cup, I placed the lily atop the fireplace mantle before flopping onto the sofa, staring at the fish tank with a soft sigh. Abandoned on my wedding night, it hurt, but I wasn’t entirely sure what I had been expecting. We weren’t in love, it was destined to be a loveless marriage, though I had a feeling my heart was going to betray me, I’d already developed feelings for him, feelings I knew could never be returned. I’d cursed myself to a sad lonely life.

After staring at the fish tank for as long as I could stand, about thirty minutes, I decided to explore the doors we’d passed in the corridor. I found two training rooms, an armory, a torture chamber, a few guest rooms, a guest bathroom, and a library. As I was about to venture into the library to see if I could find an interesting book, I heard the faucet turn on in the kitchen. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end, someone else was here.

Silently, I crept down the corridor toward the kitchen careful to suppress my aura, masking my presence entirely as my nails shifted into claws. If it were one of the children, they would have announced their presence. Though if it were one of Kikyo’s assassins, why would they have turned on the sink? I reached the end of the corridor and flattened myself against the wall before slowly peering around the corner and felt my heart begin to race in my chest as I spotted a familiar head of crimson hair.

“H-Hisoka-san?” I called softly.

He turned to me with a smile, a glass of water in his hand, apparently, he’d made himself at home. “There’s the cute little bride.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked warily, still not leaving my spot.

“Illumi was worried you’d be lonely and asked me to watch over you.” He winked.

“Illumi-sama was worried about me?” I asked in a daze and mentally cursed myself as I noted a hint of hopefulness in my voice.

Hisoka chuckled softly, “You don’t know?” He smirked, “How cute.”

“What are you going on about?” I asked with a sigh as I left my spot and met him in the small dining room taking a seat at the high-top table next to the aquarium.

“It’s nothing.” Hisoka smiled innocently, “I’m sure you two will figure it out eventually. How about a game, Syn-chan?”

“What kind of game?” I asked warily.

With a flick of his wrist a deck of playing cards appeared in his hand. Perhaps he’d taught Illumi the flower trick. Hisoka taught me every two-person card game known to man and we played cards for hours. Though he still made me nervous and apprehensive, I had to admit I had fun with him. Before I knew it, night had fallen and our only source of light was the glow of the aquarium.

It was late. My mind began to wander and my nerves began to run away with me. What if something had gone wrong? What if Illumi was hurt? Or what if there was no contract and he’d only married me because his parents forced him to pick a bride and I was the most convenient?

“Syn-chan?” Hisoka waved his hand in front of my face startling me from my dark thoughts.

“Hisoka-san, how long have you known Illumi-sama?” I blurted before I could stop myself.

“Nearly a year now.” He shrugged, his bright golden eyes regarding me with curiosity.

“He’s talked to you about me?” My voice wavered.

Hisoka chuckled, “You want to know how he feels about you?”

I nodded meekly.

“It’s more fun if you figure it out on your own.” He smiled mischievously.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 19  
Illumi- Age 23  
Killua- 11  
Alluka-10  
Kalluto-9  
Milluki(there’s potentially 1.5 people who care, though I think they only care about the anime collection)- 18

“Nee-sama, are you okay?” Killua cringed sympathetically as I’d just been sent flying through four trees, before the garden wall broke my fall, courtesy of Illumi. It was my fault for spacing out and instinctively trying to block his attack when I should have dodged.

Nothing felt broken. There were some cuts and scrapes lining my arms legs and even a few on my torso, my ribs felt bruised but nothing too serious, which meant Illumi had been going easy on me. Sighing, I staggered to my feet before throwing Killua a reassuring smile, “I’m okay.”

Illumi appeared at my side in an instant, startling me and nearly causing me to topple back over. He lightly caught me by the arm, steadying me as he quickly scanned me over. After deciding I wasn’t in any need of immediate medical attention, he frowned, “You were distracted.”

“And, you were holding back.” I pointed.

Illumi stared at me blankly for a moment, “What’s distracting you?”

My face reddened and I cast my gaze downward fearing he’d be able to read me like a book if I looked him in the eye, “N-nothing.”

“Go home.” Illumi ordered me softly as he lightly nudged me in the direction of the mansion.

“What? We’re not done-.”

“If you’re distracted you’re only going to get hurt.” He cut me off and sent me on my way with another slightly more forceful nudge.

It was futile to try and argue with him. Sighing, I waved goodbye to Killua and retreated to the west wing. With every step, my body started to ache more and more. A crisp breeze swept past me sending a chill down my spine, it was almost winter, the leaves on the trees had already changed and fallen leaving the trees bare. All the wildlife had begun preparations for hibernation.

Illumi and I had been married for nearly a year now, and though we shared a living space, I saw less of him than before. When he wasn’t away for a contract he stayed in one of the guest rooms in our suite or slept on the sofa in front of the fireplace. He really only spoke to me when we were training. I made it to our living quarters with little trouble, as I got to the stairs my ribs began to ache and breathing became difficult.

Crawling to the loft, as it was a struggle to stay upright, I somehow managed to drag myself to the master bathroom. Shakily I got to my feet before peeling off my loose fitted shirt and winced as I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror, my ribs were black and purple. I twisted slightly so I could see my back and nearly crumpled to the floor as a wave of agony rippled through me, I caught a quick glimpse of my back and swore under my breath. There was a large tree splinter embedded in my lower right side just under my ribs, my shirt had been covering it up, so Illumi hadn’t noticed it.

My fingers trembled as I reached behind me and tried to get a grip on the large splinter. I took a deep breath as I got my hand around it and wrenched it out wincing at the sickening suction-like squishing and popping sound that came with it. Once the splinter was dislodged, blood streamed from the wound profusely, spilling down my back and side. In seconds, it was pooling around my feet. Scrambling for the first aid kit as I began to feel light headed, I attempted to find something to stop the blood flow. My fingers were trembling and the edges of my vision were beginning to blur. I left a trail of bloody footprints all over the pristine marble floor of the master bathroom.

I stuffed some gauze in the wound hoping it would slow the blood flow before stumbling to the bathtub and filling it with cold water. The cold water would cause vasoconstriction and slow the blood flow. It was impossible for me to try and stitch the wound on my own, I couldn’t reach. Once the tub was full I dunked myself in, still in my black panties and black sports bra. A gasp escaped me as my body was submerged in the frigid water. My vision began to fade as I allowed myself to slip beneath the surface of the icy water. It was comforting, cold, but peaceful, like I was being swaddled in a blanket made of snow. I allowed myself to drift from consciousness.

In the back of my mind I could hear the sound of rushing fluid and water splashing everywhere as I felt strong arms envelope me, dragging me from the comfort of the icy bath. “Syn?” That sounded like Illumi. Why was he here? “SYN!” Someone was shaking me.

My eyes fluttered open and I blinked rapidly a few times trying to get my eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness. I chanced a glance to the person holding me and felt my heart stutter in my chest as I was met with a pair of dark worry filled eyes. “Illumi-sama?”

“What happened?” He asked softly as he hurriedly wrapped me in about a dozen towels before carrying me to the bedroom.

“I wasn’t as okay as I thought.” I mumbled half coherently as the room began to spin with all the jostling and moving.

“Why were you in the bath?”

“I thought it would slow the bleeding enough.” I shivered, pulling the mound of towels more securely around myself in an attempt to get warm.

“That was stupid.” He noted tonelessly.

“I didn’t want to be an inconvenience.” I murmured as I closed my eyes. It was too bright.

“You dying would be inconvenient.”

“Would it?” My voice came out dejected and vulnerable.

His hand wrapped around my neck urging a gasp from my lips. My heart pounded in my chest as he tightened his grip, crushing my windpipe. Uselessly I swatted at him trying to break his hold on me as a wave of terror and panic washed over me. My lungs burned in my chest as they struggled to fill with oxygen. He was going to strangle me.

“Don’t.” He hissed darkly before releasing me from his hold, leaving me coughing and gasping for breath, before walking away.

I’d made him angry. Was it all because I didn’t think my death would be that much of an inconvenience to anyone? Wouldn’t Illumi be better off without me?

He returned after a moment with my first aid trunk and silently set to work, roughly turning me so I was lying on my stomach, and proceeded to clean out and stitch up the wound on my back. Once he was finished with his task he turned and headed for the stairs.

Tears welled in my eyes as I watched him disappear down the stairs. “Illumi-sama?” I called after him my voice cracked as a single tear slipped from my hold.

He didn’t respond.

A few more tears slipped from my hold and I bit my lip to keep from crying. My heart hurt. Why did I have to let me own stupid insecurities get the better of me? If I had just kept my mouth shut he wouldn’t be mad. But, I truly felt as if I didn’t matter, I had no idea how he felt about me and it drove me mad.

As I was on the verge of a mental break, I jumped as I heard something clunk atop my nightstand and turned to find a vase filled with beautiful blooms. Illumi stared down at me with a frown.

“You’re crying.” He pointed.

I hurriedly wiped away my tears and struggled for composure, “I’m fine.”

Illumi stared at me blankly, he looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it. “You should sleep.” He stated simply and turned to leave again.

“Illumi-sama?” My voice wavered as I called after him and my heart skipped a beat as he paused and turned to me. “How do you feel about me?” I asked him tentatively fearing the response.

He stared at me for a long moment, his face an expressionless mask, “Sleep.” He ordered me simply before turning and heading down the stairs.

I felt my heart begin to crumble in my chest and bit my lips as a fresh wave of tears began to fall.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 20  
Illumi- Age 24  
Killua- 12  
Alluka-11  
Kalluto-10  
Milluki(there’s potentially 1.5 people who care, though I think they only care about the anime collection)- 19

Illumi was away for a contract and was expecting to be gone for a few days’ time. Silva and Zeno were also out of the house, it was strange having the three strongest Zoldyck’s away from the mansion all at once. Things were still uncertain between Illumi and I. We rarely talked and lived in completely different parts of the west wing, I was growing used to our lonely life of shared solitude and was finally becoming numb to the pain and heartache of a one-sided love.

I jumped as I heard Kikyo shriek in agony as I was on my way back to my room from a visit to Alluka. In the distance, I heard Milluki shouting something indecipherable before yelling in rage and pain. What was going on? Had someone decided to attack while the three strongest were away from the mansion? I had to protect the kids.

My heart hammered in my chest as I ran toward the screams, but paused as I nearly ran into Killua. “Kil-chan?!” I called out to him, he looked torn.

His dazzling blue eyes slowly lifted to meet my gaze and in that moment I knew he was responsible, “Nee-sama.” He looked like he wanted to flee.

“What’s wrong?” I asked worried as I dropped to my knees and held my arms open to him smiling as he wrapped his arms around me.

“I can’t take it anymore. I need to get out of here.” His voice sounded so small and broken, his family had finally pushed him over the edge.

“Okay.” I replied softly as I hugged him tightly.

He reluctantly pulled away before staring at me incredulously, “You’re not going to stop me?”

I shook my head. “I’m quite familiar with being a Zoldyck prisoner. I won’t stop you.” Hurried footsteps were headed in our direction, “We should go.”

He placed his hand in mine and we ran toward the forest. Once satisfied that we weren’t going to be stumbled upon so easily, I turned to the adolescent and ruffled his fair hair affectionately.

“Do you have enough money?” I asked him worried, “Do you know where to go for food and shelter?”

“I’ll be fine.” Killua smiled, but tensed the moment I sensed a presence looming toward us.

I held my hand out palm up envisioning a lowly imp of a demon and smiled as a tiny grey imp appeared in my hand before giving it a silent command to stay with Killua at all times and to alert me if he was in danger. The imp leapt onto Killua’s shoulder and he stared at me curiously for a moment, he couldn’t see the imp and unlike the other demons I could summon, the imp wouldn’t fade away until his job was done or I sent him away, even if I lost consciousness he would fulfill his duty.

“Nee-sama?” He thought I’d been spacing out.

“I’ll hold them off.” I bent forward and kissed the top of his head, “Be safe.”

“Come with me.” He begged me softly.

“I can’t do that, Kil-chan.” I lightly shoved him toward the forest before catching the butler that had lunged for us in a chokehold. “Get going.” I ordered him softly as a deadly calm focus washed over me.

“I love you nee-sama.” Killua said softly before flitting away in a flash.

After incapacitating the first butler, I spun as three more approached. Two of them lunged for me and the third made a move to go after Killua. I hurled a throwing knife with a deadly accuracy at the butler that had tried to go after Killua, hitting him in the back of the skull with the hilt of the knife with enough force he was instantly knocked unconscious before intercepting the two that had tried to attack me. My body moved fluidly as I swiftly dodged their attacks.

If he hadn’t run into any trouble, Killua would have made it to the gate by now. Hurriedly I knocked the remaining two butlers’ unconscious as I sensed the presence of two others approaching. They were trying to go after Killua.

I darted into the forest after the two butlers and hurled two more throwing knives, managing to render them unconscious. My heart skipped a beat as I sensed a familiar presence behind me. “Sorry, Gotoh-san.” My voice was soft as I turned to face him as he stepped into my clearing, “I can’t allow you to go after him.”

“My apologies, Syn-sama. I have my orders.” He grimaced as he prepared to fight me.

“I won’t hold back.” I warned him.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He smiled softly.

“Very well.” I darted forward as I shrouded my body with Nen. Gotoh stared in wonder as my Nen began to burn a strange symbol onto my forearm. My nails shifted to claws and I sliced open a patch of skin just above the freshly scorched symbol.

“Sorry, Syn-sama.” Gotoh attempted to bolt away from me to continue his pursuit of Killua, but froze as he found his path blocked by a wicked demon panther with razor sharp teeth and six glowing red eyes.

I sensed Kikyo and Milluki approaching and turned to meet them with a glare. Kikyo was clutching at her face as blood streamed from between her fingers, drenching her pretty gown. Milluki was clutching at a wound to his shoulder and shot me a scowl.

“Syn-chan, you let him get away?!” Kikyo shrieked.

“I did.” I replied simply, “And I won’t let anyone go after him.”

Kikyo let out an indecipherable shriek. I could hear Gotoh struggling against the demon behind me, I knew it wasn’t strong enough to kill him or seriously injure him, but it would definitely give Killua enough time to get off the mountain.

I swore under my breath as I saw Milluki make a move and attempted to flit away, he specialized in bombs and chemical warfare. A miniscule robotic moth flew toward me, in the direction I had tried to dodge before exploding in a cloud of fire and smoke, before I had a chance to dodge. The blast hurled me back.

My body slammed into a nearby tree and I hit the ground feeling dazed and unsteady as my ears were filled with a high pitched incessant ringing. He’d mixed a regular bomb with a flash bomb. I was momentarily paralyzed. The panther demon had vanished the moment I was incapacitated and I swore under my breath as another butler appeared and tied me up before I could regain the use of my limbs. Gotoh had no doubt gone after Killua, but he’d gotten a big enough head start, he’d be long gone by now. At least Killua had managed to escape.

Someone tossed me over their shoulder as I attempted to mentally will my limbs to move, I couldn’t hear anything that was being said over the ringing in my ears and cursed Milluki for being the kind of coward that could only fight with explosives and chemical warfare.

Kikyo was still screaming something incoherent and pointing at me in rage. Milluki looked far too pleased for my liking at whatever his mother was screaming and I felt my stomach churn as I realized where I was being carried to. The ringing began to dull and I regained the use of my limbs as we reached the torture chamber and I struggled against my captor. It was no use, I was clapped in irons, suspended from the ceiling, unable to escape.

Milluki followed us into the room with a whip in hand, looking beside himself with joy. “Mama said you need to be punished for what you did.”

“Well, considering how weak you are, I’m sure I’ll be fine.” I rolled my eyes, “Wake me when it’s over.”

The whip cracked from behind me and I winced as it slashed across my back. The splash of blood spraying the floor along with the sting across my back caused me to bite my lip, there were barbs on the whip, that cowardly bastard, I was going to make him pay for this. 

“Not so weak now, am I?” Milluki cried triumphantly.

“Still weak.” I goaded him and held back a cry of pain as the whip slashed across my back in rapid fire succession shredding my back in moments as he frantically lashed out at me in a blind fury.

His breathing was ragged, he’d already worked himself into a pant and was struggling to regulate his breathing.

“That all you got?”

He snarled in rage and stomped around me so he was facing me, “Don’t get so cocky!”

The whip lashed out and I managed to keep myself composed as it slashed me across the chest, just below my collar, splitting me open from shoulder to shoulder. He swung again with a downward motion and I held back a cry of pain as the whip tore through my flesh from my neck down to my navel.

“And you’re a coward.” I goaded him further and smiled as he threw the bloodied whip to the ground with a snarl.

“Shut up!”

“Can’t even get your hands dirty.”

“We’ll see how tough you are.” He hissed as he turned around and retrieved a machine on wheels and wheeled it toward me.

My heart dropped. It was an electroshock machine and the chains keeping me in place were metal. That wasn’t just going to hurt, it could kill me! “Milluki! What the hell?!” I growled as I thrashed uselessly against my chains.

“Not so tough now.” He smiled maliciously as he started up the machine and grabbed hold of the two rods before sticking the rods over my fresh wound across my abdomen.

A scream bubbled up in the back of my throat as I was suddenly riddled with agony. My body convulsed and I felt the skin beneath the chains begin to burn. I was momentarily blinded as every nerve in my body was jolted with electricity. The sickening smell of scorched flesh filled the room. If I survived this, I was going to kill him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 20  
Illumi- Age 24  
Killua- 12  
Alluka-11  
Kalluto-10  
Milluki(not sure where people stand on the whole caring or not caring thing)- 19

The faint sounds of groaning metal followed by loud crashes, in the distance startled me awake. I’d blacked out at some point and found myself bound and covered in a plethora of fresh wounds and burns lying in a heap on the floor. Milluki had exhausted himself trying to torture me in an effort to get me to scream, but I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

The door of the torture chamber was suddenly ripped off its hinges and I jumped as it fell to the ground with a loud reverberating clank. It hurt too much to move for me to turn and see what had happened. Strong arms encircled me and I gasped as I was suddenly lifted off the cold hard ground and choked on a gasp as I found myself staring into a pair of rage filled soulless black eyes, Illumi!

Was he angry with me too? I’d rather be tortured by Milluki even if he killed me, I couldn’t bear to be tortured by Illumi. There must have been terror revealed on my face as Illumi tenderly swept my long colorless hair out of my face, his gaze softening.

“It’s okay.”

I crumpled against him with a choked sob as I realized he wasn’t angry with me. He cradled me gently in his arms and carried me from the torture chamber. We stepped through the dungeon like hall and I stared in awe, every single door in the dungeon had been ripped from its hinges in his desperate search to find me. Had he been worried about me?

“Aniki!” Milluki’s whiny voice shouted from the opposite end of the hall and I felt my heart skip a beat as Illumi tensed and a dark rage unlike any I’d ever seen before clouded his face. A strange aura shrouded us and I suddenly felt as if I were suffocating as the heavy aura swarmed us.

Illumi’s hair fluttered in the dark aura and I felt my heart stop as I stared at his face in horror. He was terrifying and I suddenly feared for my life. “Illumi-sama.” I squeaked helplessly trying not to succumb to the aura threatening to suffocate me.

The darkness began to fade away as he looked down at me. His gaze softened and my heart began to race sporadically as he adjusted his grip on me cradling me against him, hugging me close. “Sorry.”

Did he just apologize?! The only rational explanation I had was that Milluki had killed me and for some reason this was what I got to see in death.

I could hear Milluki’s heavy footfalls as he ran toward us and gasped as Illumi managed to cradle me against him with one arm and reach out catching Milluki by the neck with his other hand without casting him so much as a second glance as he effortlessly lifted him off the ground by his throat.

“Illumi-sama?” I panicked. It was taboo to kill a family member.

Milluki struggled futilely, his face turning an unnatural shade of blue. Illumi was going to kill him!

“Illumi-sama!” I tried again grabbing ahold of the front of his shirt with my chained hands, “It’s against the rules to kill family.”

Illumi threw me a curious look before releasing his younger brother and I winced as Milluki crashed to the floor, hard, sputtering and gasping for breath.

“Milluki.” Illumi’s voice was dark and eerie and instantly sent a shiver down my spine.

Milluki was sniveling as he picked himself up off the ground and stared up at the older brother he’d always admired in fear.

“Touch my wife again and I will kill you.” Illumi growled before carrying me to our living quarters.

He was silent and brooding as he carried me to the loft and I was too scared to try and jar him from his dark thoughts. When we reached the loft, he set me atop the counter in the master bathroom before breaking my shackles apart in his hands. My face burned with heat as he stripped me of my tattered clothing before cleaning each of my wounds with gentle steady hands. Once the wounds were cleaned he stitched the ones that needed stitches, applied a soothing aloe and calendula mixture to the burns and bandaged me up.

I blushed as he swept me into his arms and attempted to keep myself covered, even though I was practically covered head to toe in bandages. He balanced me in one arm as he stopped beside the bed and pulled back the blankets before gently easing me onto the mattress. His hand shook as he pulled the blankets around me.

“Illumi-sama?”

Gently, he caressed my cheek, lightly brushing his thumb across my pale skin, catching the single tear that slipped from my hold, “You’re crying again.”

I had to know. I couldn’t bare it any longer, I didn’t like being numb, I didn’t want a one-sided love. “Do you love me?” My voice quivered.

His hand tenderly swept my colorless hair away from my face as he stared down at me, emotionlessly and for a moment I feared the answer I’d receive. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine and I let out a gasp as I felt a spark ignite within me. I melted into him, all my tensions and worries dissolving in an instant as he conveyed all of his feelings in a single kiss. My heart leapt with joy, it was our first kiss. Reluctantly he pulled away from me, lightly brushing away a few more traitor tears that had slipped from my hold. His body tensed and he turned toward the stairs with a glare.

“Father?”

I paled as I followed his gaze and spotted Silva, Kikyo and Milluki standing at the top of the stairs. My heart hammered in my chest as fear gripped my heart and I instinctively reached for Illumi’s hand as I was overcome with terror.

Silva and Illumi had a silent stare down, the tension in the air was so thick I could feel it constricting around me.

“What’s going on?!” Zeno’s voice cracked like a whip startling everyone as he appeared seemingly from nowhere. His gaze fell on me clinging to Illumi’s hand and the bandages lining my neck, shoulders and arms stretching beneath the blankets out of sight. He frowned at this.

Illumi looked down at me, his gaze soft yet still devoid of emotion, “Rest.”

I looked to his glaring parents and sibling then to the smile on Zeno’s face before looking back up at Illumi in awe, “Illumi-sama, I don’t think tha-.”

“Rest.” He repeated more forcefully as he got to his feet and turned to his family, “Get out.”

I clenched my eyes tightly shut, I didn’t want to see angry Illumi again, once was more than enough. My heart was pounding as I waited for fighting to begin, but nothing happened. Chancing a peek, I spotted Zeno ushering the others out. Illumi turned to me and I squeaked in terror as he caught me with my eyes open and hurriedly shut them.

The bed sunk in next to me and my heart went insane in my chest as I felt him lying beside me. What was he doing?

“You helped Killua escape?”

“Yes.” I replied softly.

“You sent a tail after him as a precaution and have a way to locate him at any given time.” He noted.

“I do, but I won’t tell anyone his whereabouts.” I said firmly still refusing to open my eyes but I instinctively flinched fearing his response.

The mattress shifted slightly as he shrugged at this seeming satisfied with my response. “Rest.” He ordered me softly.

“You were talking.” I smirked.

He fell silent and I couldn’t help but smile as his hand lightly gripped mine giving it a gentle squeeze offering me comfort and support.

I rolled to my side and peeked at him. My heart skipped a beat as I found him lying on his side, facing me watching me intently. “Thank you, Illumi-sama.”

“Hm?”

“For saving me.” I smiled before letting out a terrified squeak as his arms suddenly encircled me, pulling me against him.

He tucked me against him tenderly and closed his eyes. It was a long journey for him to return home and he must have exerted a lot of effort searching for me, he was probably exhausted. I closed my eyes and relaxed in his warm embrace. I felt safe in his arms. My heart swelled in my chest. Illumi loved me and would protect me from anything, even his own flesh and blood.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 20  
Illumi- Age 24  
Killua- 12  
Alluka-11  
Kalluto-10  
Milluki- 19  
The ages are staying here for a while since we’re at the start of the anime :)

Illumi reluctantly left me in our loft, only after Zeno swore he would only allow butlers who were loyal to him tend to me and assured him nobody else would be permitted near our living quarters, to take the Hunter Exam. I was to be confined to the west wing until Illumi had returned so my wounds could heal and to avoid any further family conflict. Unfortunately, this meant, I couldn’t visit Alluka.

Zeno stopped by every day to play chess with me, I spent most of my time in bed as anytime Zeno caught me anywhere else, I was scolded and ushered back into bed. A little over a week after Illumi left for the Hunter Exam, the tail I’d sent with Killua alerted me to Killua’s distress. Something had happened, he wasn’t physically harmed but something was tearing him up inside, his emotions were a mess.

“Kil-chan!” I gasped as I bolted out of bed. Something was wrong. His emotions came pouring into me, he felt so lost, helpless, broken. Tears burned behind my eyelids.

“Syn?” Zeno appeared at my side as I made a dash for the stairs. “You need to res-.”

“No! Something is wrong with Kil-chan.” I skidded to a halt as Zeno appeared before me, halting me with a single look.

“Is he injured?” He asked me seriously.

“Not physically, but something is wrong.” I attempted to side step him, but he was far too quick for an old geezer. “Jiji!”

“You’re in no condition to be chasing after anyone. Get back to bed.” He ushered me back to bed before taking his leave, though I knew he was probably monitoring the exit.

I scrambled for my mobile device atop my nightstand and hurriedly called Illumi.

“Syn?” His toneless voice sent my heart aflutter, “What’s wrong?”

“Something is wrong with Kil-chan! You have to get to him! He was terrified a few moments ago and now something is wrong, he’s upset.”

“I’m with him now.” Illumi noted emotionlessly.

“What happened?! Is he okay?”

“He’s fine.” Illumi responded simply.

I bit my lip, I could feel Killua’s inner turmoil from the imp currently attached to him. “He’s not fine.”

“He’ll be home soon.” Illumi replied in a dismissive tone before hanging up.

I scrambled to the closet and changed into a pair of black pants and a loose fitted grey shirt that concealed the majority of my bandages before closing my eyes concentrating on the location of the imp. Killua needed me. By channeling the lower level demon imps, I could use my Nen to open a portal for myself, though it wasn’t fun and I’d nearly died every time I tried to get out of the portal, landings were not safe.

Cringing as a wave of agony washed over me, I felt my body begin to fall, I’d successfully opened a portal. I kept my eyes tightly shut trying to keep my focus on Killua continuing to channel the demon imp I’d sent with him, pinpointing their location. Once I was sure I was in the right spot I took a deep breath and jumped.

“Kil-chan!” I stumbled into a room full of people I didn’t know to find Killua with a blank soulless gaze, his nails sharpened and dripping with blood standing before the fallen body of some older man. Noticing some of the strange men in suits were about to make a move to apprehend him, I darted forward still feeling dizzy and not a hundred percent put together. I pulled him into my arms, “Kil-chan, it’s okay!” Tears welled in my eyes, his expression was so vacant and empty, he was nothing more than a shell in my arms.

It took him a moment to realize what was happening and I breathed a sigh of relief as I felt him begin to relax in my embrace before throwing his arms around me. “Nee-sama?”

“It’s okay, Kil-chan.” I tensed as I sensed a familiar presence behind me.

Slowly, I turned to find Illumi frowning from behind me. I spotted Hisoka out of the corner of my eye leaning against a wall regarding the scene before him with slight interest. His golden amber eyes fell on me and a wicked smile twisted onto his lips.

“Syn. You’re blee-.” Illumi began but I cut him off with a sharp look.

“He’s not fine.” I challenged him. Killua felt like he was going to crumble in my arms at any moment, he was on the verge of an emotional break. “What happened?”

Illumi was frowning once more, he didn’t want to tell me. Why? What did he do? “Mother asked me to check up on him and make sure he comes home.” He sighed after a moment.

“What did you do?” I asked him warily as I held Killua close worried he was going to slip through my fingers at any moment and lose himself in his agony and grief.

“Reminded him of his purpose.” Illumi responded simply, though there was a slight flicker of remorse in his blank gaze as I stared up at him in awestruck horror. “He’s a killer.”

“He’s a child!” I snapped, “And he can be whatever he wants to be.”

Illumi reached for me, sensing my need to flee, “Syn-.”

“We’re leaving.” I shot the occupants of the room a glare daring any of them to try and stop me before releasing Killua from my hold. Clasping his hand in mine I gave him a gentle tug toward the door, “Let’s go Kil-chan.”

Killua followed along behind me in a daze, he’d never seen me angry before, I’d put up with a lot from the Zoldyck family, taking things in stride, I tried my best to keep my temper in check around the children, though because Kalluto was almost always with Kikyo and she infuriated me the most he tended to see it frequently.

“Nee-sama?” Killua interrupted my raging thoughts softly as I stomped blindly toward where I assumed the exit was back toward civilization. No one had come after us.

“Sorry, Kil-chan.” I sighed as I eased my grip on his hand, “You don’t have to return home, if you don’t want to.” I looked down at him and felt my heart drop he still had that faraway desolate look in his eyes.

“No. I’ll go home.” His voice sounded distant and broken and I felt a spark of rage ignite within me.

“Kil-chan, what happened?”

“Assassins don’t need friends.” He said simply before his gaze darkened and a heartbreaking loneliness I’d never seen before clouded his piercing blue eyes, “I don’t deserve friends.”

“According to who?” I frowned.

Killua glanced up at me curiously before something dawned on him, “Nee-sama! How did you get here?! What happened to you?” He panicked as he noticed the blood-soaked bandages lining my entire body.

“I’ll explain the first when you’re ready and as for the second, I’m fine so don’t worry.” I smiled as I ruffled his hair. He seemed to be back in his right state of mind, but I knew those thoughts were still weighing heavily on him.

“Was it because you helped me get away?” He grimaced.

“I knew the consequences beforehand, so don’t do something as ridiculous as blaming yourself for what happened. Even knowing what would happen, I do not regret my decision and if faced with the same decision a hundred times over, I will always do the same thing.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”

Killua smiled, “Thanks Nee-sama.”

“Killua, friends aren’t something that need to be deserved, anyone can have friends.” I said seriously, “I don’t care what anyone else tells you, you should be happy, you should have friends, you should live your life the way you want to.”

He looked up at me after a moment and I realized my body was trembling, I had pushed myself too far. “Should I call Aniki?”

“No. I’m not ready to face him right now.” I grumbled softly before steeling myself and forcing my body to keep steady. I’d defied Illumi, I’d gone against his wishes, stood up to him, and snapped at him. He was going to kill me. “I’ll be alright, are you sure you want to go home?”

Killua nodded.

I sighed, “Then let’s go home.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syn- Age 20  
Illumi- Age 24  
Killua- 12  
Alluka-11  
Kalluto-10  
Milluki(I’m not entirely sure anyone cares *shrug*)- 19

“We still have time to turn back.” I looked down at Killua as we stopped outside of The Testing Gate. He still looked downtrodden, my pep talk didn’t really help too much. What did Illumi do to him?

“It’s okay, nee-sama.” Killua offered me a small half smile before shoving his hands out hurling back three of the doors with hardly any effort, he was still upset, and trying to spare my feelings.

Sighing I followed after him. “I’ll protect you.”

He turned his bright blue eyes to me his expression dazed for a moment before shaking his head, “I don’t’ want you to do that nee-sama.”

I attempted to protest but Killua cut me off by placing his hand in mine and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I’ll be fine. I don’t want you to get hurt anymore.”

“I don’t think Milluki would be dense enough to try that again.” I grumbled bitterly, though I pitied him at times, I couldn’t forgive him for what he’d done.

Killua turned to me curiously, “What happened?”

A shiver rolled down my spine as I thought back on that day and how angry Illumi had been and a sense of dread washed over me. I wasn’t technically family, the laws about not killing family were probably a little looser concerning me, was he going to kill me? I defied him. My heart dropped, I even snapped at him. He was going to kill me.

“Nee-sama?” Killua squeezed my hand once more jarring me from my disturbing thoughts. “You look pale, are you unwell?”

“I’m fine.” My voice was an octave too high.

Killua frowned at this. “Are you worried about Aniki?”

“N-No. Of course not.” I cursed myself, my voice sounded nervous, unsteady, but most worrying of all, it sounded scared.

“Welcome home Killua-sama, Syn-sama.” Canary greeted us in controlled stoic politeness. There was a time when she used to smile, but I was sure one of the insufferable Zoldyck’s had broke her of it. She was young and pretty with mocha skin, charcoal grey eyes and black as night hair, but looked too mature in her butler’s uniform. It unnerved me, the concept that kids should be kids was lost on the Zoldyck family.

Killua paused for a brief moment at my side before giving Canary a semi audible response as he brushed past her, “I made… a friend.”

Canary turned and stared after him in awe a small sorrowful smile twisted onto her lips, she was happy for him, but had picked up on his altered state of mind. She stiffened after a moment, sensing my gaze. Like me, Canary was a stray from Meteor City, though I knew she didn’t envy me in the slightest.

“Has Illumi-sama returned?” I asked warily wondering if he’d found a way to beat us here.

“Not yet, Syn-sama.” She bowed respectfully.

“Thanks.” I offered her a smile before jogging to catch up with Killua, only to groan inwardly as I sensed people approaching us. “Killua-.”

He cut me off with a simple shake of his head and I felt my heart drop, that desolate hopeless look had returned to his usually warm piercing blue eyes, they were now dull. My heart hammered in my chest as I prepared myself for a fight, Killua wasn’t going to put up a fight, he was going to accept whatever punishment they threw at him. “Nee-sama, I don’t want your help.”

I felt a slight stab of rejection at his words. He hadn’t meant to be cruel he was still trying to protect me. “Kil-.”

He cut me off once more, stepping in front of me to face our interceptors, “I mean it, nee-sama. Stay out of it.”

“As you wish.” I caved, though resolved myself. If things got out of hand, I’d step in.

Milluki stepped onto the path ahead, blocking our way, a whip clenched in his fat grip as he glared in our direction. His cold black eyes looked right through me. “You’re in big trouble for what you did to Mama and I.” He barked at Killua.

Killua shrugged, not even breaking stride. “Lead the way.”

Milluki looked more annoyed by this smug, devil may care attitude. “Do you have any idea the magnitude of the sit-.”

“Where to?” Killua interrupted as he paused waiting for Milluki to lead him to wherever their mother wanted him to go.

I hesitated, I had a feeling this was going to lead to a torture chamber, “Where are you planning on taking him?”

“Nee-sama, you should be resting.” Killua dismissed me without a single look back and Milluki tactfully ignored me and headed off in the direction of the mansion.

Sighing, I made my way back to the West Wing hoping that Jiji had accepted an assignment in my absence and wouldn’t be there waiting to scold me. My body began to ache, I’d pushed myself too much, I hadn’t given myself enough time to fully recover from my injuries. The West Wing was dark and eerily empty. It felt lonely.

I paused as I got to the fireplace in the main sitting room and my gaze flit to the mantle. A single white lily sat atop the fireplace mantle in a small drinking glass, like the one Illumi had given me on our wedding night. My heart began to race and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end, had he really beaten us home and given all the butler’s the slip.

“I-Illumi-sama?” My voice cracked. “Are you here?”

“Excuse me, Syn-sama.” A somewhat familiar voice sounded from the kitchen causing me to scream in terror, before covering my face to hide my pure mortification as I realized it was one of the butler’s loyal to Zeno. She poked her head around the corner and studied me with her piercing gaze, “Everything alright?”

“Yes. Fine. Sorry. Why are you here?”

“Zeno-sama said it would be nice to bring you some flowers to brighten the place up. She indicated a bouquet of wildflowers arranged beautifully in a vase in her hands.

“And the lily?” I asked.

“I found it all on its own. Looked like someone had picked all the rest and left it behind.” Perhaps she’d stumbled upon Illumi’s flower source, he often brought me flowers when he thought I was upset or unhappy, which he assumed was often as I was sort of a prisoner in my own home.

“Thank you for the flowers.” I said softly as my heart returned to a calm pace and my frayed nerves began to settle.

“Perhaps you should lie down for a bit, Syn-sama.”

“Yes, thank you.” I hurried to the stairs, as quickly as my sore body would permit.

“Shall I bring you anything?”

“No, I’m alright. I’m going to get some sleep.” I attempted to politely dismiss her but my voice still sounded on edge as I made my way upstairs to the master suite.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really think the ages are necessary anymore since we're in anime/manga territory now lol

I woke with a start as I sensed someone standing at the foot of the bed and slowly opened my eyes only to sigh in relief as I saw a pair of familiar piercing blue eyes and a mop of spiky silvery hair. “Kil-chan, are you alright?” He was sporting a lot of welts and bruises but had a hopeful look in his eyes.

“Dad said I can go with my friends.” He smiled.

I sat up slowly and bit my lip to keep from blurting my first thoughts. It seemed to me that Silva may have an ulterior motive for letting Killua go, but I couldn’t be sure. I wasn’t sure that any of them had his best interest at heart. Silva just wanted Killua to take over the family business one day, he didn’t honestly care about what Killua wanted.

“That’s wonderful news, Kil-chan.” I smiled softly as he sat at the foot of my bed, he seemed hesitant. “Something on your mind?”

“Do you really think it’s okay for me to have friends?” He asked me after a moment.

I wrapped him in a tight hug, “I think anyone that can call you their friend, is very lucky. Everyone should be given the chance to make friends. You excel at everything you do, so it only makes sense that you’d be the best friend to have.”

“Thanks nee-sama.” Killua hugged me back before wriggling out of my arms and turning to me with a grin, “I want you to meet my friend, Gon.”

“Alright, wait downstairs for me.” I ruffled his hair softly, but paused as a worrisome thought crossed my mind, “Has Illumi-sama returned yet?”

Killua shrugged, “Not that I know of.” He hopped off the bed and headed for the stairs with a lightness in his step that I couldn’t help but smile at. He seemed happy.

After a quick shower and a hurried scan to make sure none of my wounds were still bleeding, I slipped into a soft red cotton dress that hung loosely enough off of me it didn’t irritate any of my healing wounds. As much as I despised dresses, it was nice to not wear tight fitted clothing that rubbed on my wounds. My mother-in-law would be overjoyed if she saw me in a dress. I found a pair of simple black flats and attempted to dry my colorless hair with a towel, after a few shakes I gave up and left it dripping down my back.

I skipped down the stairs, Killua’s mood was rubbing off on me, my spirits were uplifted and I noticed my body didn’t ache when I moved. My wounds were almost healed and I could move much more freely. Killua was impatiently waiting on the sofa in front of the fireplace tapping his foot as he was too excited to sit still, he turned when he sensed my presence and his piercing blue eyes widened.

“Nee-sama you’re wearing a dress.” He gaped.

“It’s more comfortable right now, and if you tell your mother I said that you will regret it.” I teased him.

We left the west wing in joyous spirits, laughing together as he regaled me with tales of his and Gon’s adventures during the Hunter Exam. In no time at all we reached the Butler’s Quarters. Gotoh greeted us at the door with a bow.

“Killua-sama, Syn-sama. We’ve been waiting for you.”

“Gotoh, where’s Gon now? You do know, right?” Killua asked excitedly.

“Canary is bringing Gon-sama along with his two friends here.” Gotoh replied in a monotone.

“Really?!” Killua was buzzing with glee and I couldn’t help but smile at him. I’d never seen him this happy.

“They should arrive shortly, so please wait inside.” Gotoh bowed and made room for us to step inside.

“Gotoh, let me know the second Gon gets here.” Killua beamed.

“Yes, sir. I shall notify you immediately.” Gotoh bowed once more, but I sensed deceit, he was lying and had other plans, probably to test Killua’s friends.

I followed Killua to a small sitting room and listened to him talk about all the exciting things he and Gon had done and how much fun they were going to have now that he was free to do as he wished. A few butlers tried to keep us distracted with snacks and refreshments around the time I sensed the arrival of three unknown presences.

After a while we were left alone and Killua enjoyed snacking on his favorite little robot candies. Killua began to grow impatient as it had been some time since we’d seen a butler and we’d been left tucked in a quiet faraway part of the manor.

“Damn it!” Killua grumbled, “How long do I have to wait?” He hopped off the chaise lounge he had been sprawled on and stomped to the door only to find the corridor to be pitch black with no one in sight. “What’s going on?” He turned to me curiously.

“I’m not sure.” I sighed as I stretched to my feet, “Why don’t we go find out?”

Killua led the way toward the main entertaining room and impatiently ripped the door open as he heard voices inside, “Gotoh, is Gon here yet?”

“Killua!” A boy about Killua’s age with dark spikey hair bandages on his cheek, and around his left eye shot to his feet and turned to face us with a big heart melting grin. I could see in his warm caramel eyes that he had a good heart and was a caring person and couldn’t help but smile as Killua ran to greet him.

“Oh! You were here, Gon!” Killua beamed before turning to the blond-haired boy sitting next to the exuberant youth, “And umm…Kurapika.” He turned to the older looking dark haired boy wearing a suit, “Liorio.”

I held back a laugh as the two older boys took offense.

“Leorio!” The older one corrected him in annoyance.

Killua and Gon got straight to chatting, laughing and teasing one another.

“Ah!” The older dark haired boy, Leorio, suddenly yelped as his gaze fell on me, “It’s the girl from before.”

“Oh!” Gon’s eyes lit up, “The one you said rescued Killua?”

I offered the three newcomers a smile, “I’m Syn. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“We should get going to anywhere that’s not here. If we stay here my mom will give us all an earful.” Killua grimaced in annoyance not wanting to put up with his mother. He thought for a moment before turning to me, “Nee-sama are you coming?”

“I’ll walk you to the gate, but I cannot go with you.” I ruffled his hair affectionately as I followed him and the two older boys toward the door. Gon hung back for a moment to speak with Gotoh.

Once the five of us were on the path leading to the Testing Gate I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand on end and instinctively reached out to stop Killua from moving forward. The others stopped and turned to me as I scanned the surrounding area, Illumi was close by.

“Nee-sama-?” Killua paused as he sensed his elder brother’s presence, “Aniki?” He gaped as Illumi stepped onto our path causing Leorio to yelp, and Gon and Kurapika to tense.

His blank soulless gaze fell on me and I felt my mouth go dry. My stomach churned uneasily, I couldn’t read him, he was expressionless. Was he angry? The ominous aura around him made me believe he was, but he didn’t look angry. He took a step forward and I lightly shoved Killua behind me.

“Illumi-sama.” My voice was steady, strong and filled with warning. If he tried to stop Killua, I wouldn’t hold back.

The corners of his mouth twitched and for a moment I thought he’d show some kind of expression, but his face was still a blank mask. The ominous aura around him dispersed. He extended his hand to me without a word and it took all I had to keep from rolling my eyes. Sighing, I turned to Killua and his friends.

“This is where I leave you.” I held my hand out palm up as I had before and summoned a lowly imp demon for Killua to take with him. He looked to me curiously as I repeated the action I’d done when he first escaped and placed the imp on his shoulder, though only Illumi could see it. “You have amazing friends, Kil-chan. I’m so glad you’re happy.” I kissed the top of his head, “If you ever need help, all you have to do is call my name.”

Killua frowned at this not understanding what I meant, but he didn’t question me. “Thanks for everything nee-sama.” He hugged me tightly.

I waved goodbye to Killua and his friends as I hesitantly made my way over to Illumi and took his hand. His body seemed to relax when I placed my hand in his, it was so subtle I’d almost not noticed it, why was he tense? He pulled me toward him and swept me off my feet in one fluid motion before turning to Killua and his friends. His lips pulled into a frown, he looked like he wanted to say something, but chose not to and we watched in silence as Killua and his friends walked past resuming their escape.

“Are you angry with me?” I asked him once I was sure the others were a safe enough distance away.

“No.” He said simply as he made his way back toward the mansion without releasing me from his hold.

The trek through the dark woods was silent and filled with tension. Illumi’s face was, as usual, an emotionless mask, but I thought I noticed small cracks in the mask as I’d notice an occasional twitch at the corners of his mouth occasionally pulling into a frown. Something was on his mind, but if I pestered him about it he’d probably shut me out or break my arm.

He stopped walking so abruptly I nearly tumbled out of his arms. I hurriedly scanned the surrounding forest to see if something or someone had blocked our path, but there was nothing there.

“Illumi-sama?”

His dark soulless eyes bore down upon me intensely, “Are you angry with me?” He asked after a long pause.

“What?!” I squeaked in alarm.

He didn’t answer, just continued staring at me intently waiting for me to reply.

“No, I’m not angry with you.” I didn’t have a death wish and that was the only thing that would ever come of me being angry with Illumi-sama.

“You were.” He pointed and I felt an uneasiness in my stomach.

“You lied to me.” I replied meekly as I lowered my gaze to avoid meeting his eyes.

We started moving again and I jumped at the sudden motion. I chanced a glance in his direction, he looked like he was deep in thought, so I thought better than to disturb him. After we broke through another clearing in the forest, he came to an abrupt stop and I threw my arms around his neck to keep from falling.

“Illumi-sama?” What was wrong with him?

He frowned and continued on his way once more deciding he didn’t want to say whatever was on his mind. I looked around and realized I didn’t recognize our surroundings, we weren’t really heading in any general direction, Illumi had been pacing throughout a great span of forest this entire time.

“Is something on your mind?” I asked him curiously.

“You.” He said simply and for a fleeting moment I worried it was thoughts of how to kill me. My heart skipped a beat as he tightened his hold on me.

“What about me?”

“Are you happy?” Something in his voice conveyed a touch of emotion, he was worried. There was a hint of insecurity in his dark eyes and I felt my heart ache in my chest.

“Illumi-sama, you may be impossible to read at times and I don’t always understand you, but I love you-.” He cut me off with a kiss that took my breath away and I had to tighten my grip around him to keep from falling.

I kissed him back with a fire as my heart swelled and I realized just how much I loved him and needed him in my life and how relieved I was that he wasn’t angry with me. Hot tears welled in my eyes as we kissed under the starlit sky and all of my worries dissolved into nothing. I felt an immense relief. In truth, I had been worried that he would be angry that he wouldn’t want me for being insubordinate, but he loved me and that was all I needed.

We tumbled to the ground as we both lost our senses and I giggled as we toppled into a small wildflower patch and broke our kiss. “As long as I have you in my life, I will be happy.” I smiled as I laced my fingers with his capturing his hand in mine.

Illumi slowly stroked my hair out of my face. “Let’s go home.” He said softly, his face an emotionless mask once more, but there was warmth in his dark gaze and gentleness in his touch, he was trying.


	18. Chapter 18

It wasn’t too long after Killua left with his friends that I sensed a change in him, he was learning about Nen. It wouldn’t be long before he’d discover the imp I sent with him. I was impressed that he’d learned to access it so quickly, but he still had a long way to go.

“You’re spacing out.” Illumi’s voice was devoid of emotion. I jumped as he reached out to me, he was attempting to be tender and cup my face but instead managed to roughly grab my face smooshing my cheeks and lips together in the process.

I looked up at him curiously. We were working on a contract. Though Illumi was his usual emotionless self, he appeared to be trying to be more affectionate with me. It made me think he was getting relationship advice from someone, it was a little unnerving at times. Either he was really bad at being tender and affectionate or was getting relationship advice from a homicidal maniac. Perhaps he went to Hisoka for advice, that would explain the weirdness.

“Illumi-sama, that kind of hurts my face.”

He released me from his hold and stared down at me, his dark eyes were blank as usual. “You’re distracted.”

“Kil-chan seems to have discovered Nen.” I smiled thinking he’d be happy to hear about his younger brother’s progress.

Illumi shrugged.

I could faintly sense Killua’s presence. He wasn’t too far from our current location. “Maybe we could stop by and see him after we finish with our contract? He’s not too far from here.”

Illumi’s face was an emotionless mask of indifference as he watched me intently, “Would that make you happy?”

I looked up at him curiously, “Yes.”

Illumi shrugged, “Then we’ll go.”

I couldn’t help but smile at him and before I could stop myself I threw my arms around him in a hug catching him off guard. His eyes widened at my action as he caught me in his arms. “Thank you, Illumi-sama.”

Rather than shove me away as I’d thought he would, he relaxed and wrapped his arms around me. We stood frozen in a warm comforting embrace for a long while. Illumi was acting strangely today, normally he’d keep the talking and physical contact to nonexistent since we were on contract.

I noticed our target slipping away, “Ah, Illumi-sama the targe-.” I cut off with a gasp as he hurled a few of his Nen needles in the direction of our target without looking or breaking from our embrace. “Why did you even bring me along, you don’t need me.” I frowned as the target hit the ground, dead.

Illumi looked thoughtful as he released me from his hold but didn’t think to give me any kind of response, which made me feel even more useless. Why did he bring me with him on contracts? Didn’t I just get in the way and make his job more difficult?

“Let’s go.” He caught my hand in his and dragged me off so abruptly I thought he was going to dislocate my shoulder as he suddenly tugged me after him.

I scrambled to keep up with his quick stride. We continued on our way in silence. It didn’t take us long to get to where I sensed Killua’s presence. It was by Heaven’s Arena. Illumi released my hand once we got to a small park and I spotted Killua and his friend Gon slumped on a nearby park bench, they looked exhausted, they’d been training endlessly trying to learn more about Nen. They appeared to have dozed off leaving themselves completely vulnerable.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a few men who’d looked like they’d been on the losing side of a massacre of a fight with an oversized blender at least once or twice. They were watching the sleeping boys, thinking of making a move. My blood boiled and I clenched my fists at my sides.

Illumi looked to me curiously as he sensed my overflowing rage. His dark soulless gaze swept over to the three men who were currently preparing to attack the sleeping boys. He chanced a glance in Killua’s direction and for a fleeting moment I thought I saw a spark of some kind of emotion, but he masked it instantly before lightly pressing his hand into the small of my back and pushing me forward.

I didn’t hesitate, I lunged forward allowing my Nen to take over, my body dematerialized in a billowy black mist and I materialized before the beaten-up trio as my nails shifted and elongated into claws. “You boys weren’t thinking of attacking my cute little brother and his friend, were you?”

The trio yelped in surprise as I practically melted into view in a cloud of eerie black mist. They frantically shook their heads and scrambled off looking ready to piss themselves. I smiled faintly as I watched the spineless fools run away before my heart started to race unsteadily as I sensed a strong presence. A gasp escaped me as I sensed a brief moment of bloodlust and I reached up and caught a playing card imbued with nen that had been aimed for my chest. Hisoka?

“Ah, if it isn’t cute little Syn-chan-.”

“You should duck.” I noted casually, cutting him off.

Hisoka gracefully flipped out of the way as not one, but thirty of Illumi’s Nen Needles shot in his direction with a deadly accuracy. “My, my, over-protective as ever.” He snickered as he landed gracefully on his feet, unscathed.

Illumi appeared at my side and moved so that he was partially in front of me as he shot a dark look in Hisoka’s direction. “Hisoka.” His voice was dark and full of warning.

“What are you doing here, Hisoka-san?” I asked calmly hoping Illumi would match my tone and relax.

“Watching over the unripe fruit.” Hisoka smiled mischievously.

What on earth did he mean by that? I glanced over my shoulder to the sleeping boys, “You were protecting them?”

Hisoka nodded.

Though I didn’t think his intentions for looking out for the boys were good, he was protecting them, for which I was grateful. “Thank you for looking out for them.”

Illumi frowned slightly at this, but his expression returned to his blank mask after a quick curious glance in my direction. Though it was nearly impossible to tell, I had a feeling something was on his mind. Hisoka noticed too and a small smirk tugged at the corners of his lips.

“I thought you wanted to see him?” Illumi asked me tonelessly after a moment.

I chanced a glance back at the sleeping boys, “He looks exhausted, I’m not sure I should wake him.”

Illumi stared at me blankly for a moment.

“I could wake them for yo-.” Hisoka made a move towards the boys but froze as Illumi and I turned on him simultaneously. He looked from one glaring face to the next with a small twisted smile, “Hm. I’m not quite sure which one of you looks more frightening when you’re angry.” He chuckled as he held his hands in the air for peace.

Illumi turned to me. “You’ll be upset if we return without saying anything to him…”

He wasn’t wrong. It would be sad to come all this way only to turn back without getting to see Kil-chan. I couldn’t help but smile, “You’re right.” I stepped out from under the cover of the small cluster of trees we’d been hiding but paused as I realized Illumi hadn’t followed me, “Illumi-sama, are you coming?”

“No.” He replied flatly before turning to Hisoka. Hopefully he wasn’t looking for more relationship advice from the homicidal clown.

I approached the bench where the boys were sleeping. Gon woke up as I drew nearer, his bright golden caramel eyes latched onto me in an instant. “Oh. It’s Killua’s nee-san.” He childishly rubbed the sleep from his eyes before swatting at Killua. “Killua, it’s your nee-san.”

Killua looked startled at having been woken up, his piercing icy blue eyes stared about wildly for a moment before falling on me. “Nee-sama, what are you doing here?”

Illumi and Hisoka had either moved away from their spot or were expertly concealing their presence, though I had a feeling Illumi wouldn’t let me out of his sight. I smiled at the silvery white-haired boy as he ran to hug me, “I was in the area for a contract and thought I might find you nearby. What are you two up to?”

“We’re training.” Gon beamed brightly, he was like sunshine, bright and warm.

“Nee-sama what kind of a Nen user are you?” Killua asked me curiously and I couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m a specialist, I utilize multiple types of Nen.”

“Eh?! Really?!” Gon stared at me in awe.

“What about Aniki?” Killua asked me curiously.

“Illumi-sama?”

Killua nodded.

“He’s a manipulator.”

Killua frowned at this. Was he upset because his type of nen wasn’t the same as ours? The imp on his shoulder met my gaze and I was struck with a vision of Gon and Killua testing their nen with water divination, Killua had change the taste of the water, making him a transmuter, like Zeno.

I smiled softly, “Jiji is a transmuter too.”

Killua’s eyes widened, “How did you know?”

I ruffled his hair affectionately as I looked to the imp demon perched atop his shoulder. “A little demon told me.”

“Huh?” Gon and Killua looked up at me curiously.

I looked to the imp perched atop Killua’s shoulder with a smile, “Keep training, and one day you’ll know.”

“What about me?” Gon grinned, “Do you know what I am?”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I ruffled his hair, “You’re an enhancer, right?”

“Wow, your nee-san is amazing, Killua.” Gon grinned. “Leorio and Kurapika thought so too.” He added brightly.

Killua huffed at this, clearly embarrassed, “I guess.” He ducked away from me and Gon looking somewhat disgruntled and flustered. Was he upset that Gon and his other friends had complimented me? His bright blue eyes grew wide after a moment as if realization dawned on him, “Nee-sama, you don’t go on solo contracts…”

“Illumi-sama is here too.”

Both boys grew tense.

“Aniki?” Killua paled and I bit my lip as I noticed fear in both of their eyes.

“You have nothing to worry about.” I smiled at the pair in an attempt to reassure them. I didn’t like that they were so distrustful of Illumi. Deep down, I knew he loved his little brother, in his own twisted way and would never want to cause serious harm. “Remember what I told you, Kil-chan.” Once when he was a child and had witnessed Illumi’s rage first hand, I told him Illumi would never hurt him.

Killua frowned at this thinking about what had happened during the Hunter Exam. If only he knew Illumi wasn’t acting on his own at that time, it was because of that vile mother of theirs. He nodded his understanding after a moment and relaxed.

Noticing that his friend had relaxed, Gon responded in kind, “Can you show us your Nen abilities?” He asked brightly causing Killua to smile.

“I’m curious too.” Killua noted.

I shook my head and held back a laugh at the bright hopeful looks on their faces. Killua was much more warm and expressive in Gon’s presence. “I suppose, but only a little bit.” Most low-level demons could only be seen by those who could use Gyo, and I didn’t think either of the boys had discovered it or they would have found the imp perched on Killua’s shoulder. I’d have to summon a mid-level demon, but one that would submit entirely to my control, it would require blood. I’d wished I had one of Illumi’s nen needles to help keep me grounded when I did the summoning. My body moved on autopilot as I sensed movement behind me, something was flying toward me.

Spinning around, I swiftly caught one of Illumi’s nen needles in my hand and smiled to myself. Killua spotted the nen needle in my hand and blanched as he realized his brother was nearby. I slowly dragged the tip of the needle into my arm drawing a small summoning circle before shifting my nails into claws and piercing the tip of my thumb until it bled. I dragged a line of blood over the bleeding summoning circle and closed my eyes as I envisioned a mid-level demon hound. I could see its mottled black skin, glowing red eyes and fangs dripping with black venom. I sensed a shift in the air as a portal opened behind me and heard Killua and Gon gasp as a demon hound stepped forth. It was about the size of a normal dog, but much more lethal.

“What is that?!” Killua stared at the demonic dog in awe.

“A demon hound.” I smiled as I held my hand out to let the hound sniff me.

The two boys looked from me to the demon hound with wide eyes before grinning simultaneously, “That’s so cool!” They exclaimed, causing me to laugh.

I gave the demon hound a pat on the head and a scratch behind his ear before dismissing him. He vanished in a puff of black mist and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I felt someone approach from behind.

“Syn.” Illumi’s toneless voice nearly startled me out of my skin.

Killua and Gon tensed and stared behind me warily.

His strong warm hand slipped in mine as I turned to meet his dark soulless gaze. “It’s time to go.” There was the faintest hint of an expression on his usually emotionless face, but I wasn’t entirely sure what it was. “We have an appointment.”

“We do?” I looked to him curiously. What sort of appointment? We were only out on a contract, meeting up with Killua was just an added bonus since he was nearby, we didn’t have any other appointment. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Hisoka snickering in the trees and shaking his head at Illumi’s choice in words.

“A date.” Illumi corrected himself with a small frown, was he nervous? Was that even possible?

“A d-date?” My face burned at this, what was he talking about?! What kind of advice did Hisoka give him?

Killua looked between the pair of us curiously, “Isn’t it your wedding anniversary?”

What?! When did that matter? There was zero acknowledgement of our first-year anniversary, why did the second one matter? Illumi was watching me intently his face an expressionless mask. Just what exactly was a Zoldyck Wedding Anniversary even like? I had a feeling there was going to be a lot of bloodshed.


	19. Chapter 19

I was right, there was a lot of bloodshed, though I wasn’t expecting to be wearing a pretty dress, that part was a surprise. After leaving the boys under Hisoka’s protection. Illumi nearly ripped my arm out of it’s socket as he dragged me to a fancy boutique. We nearly gave all the shop employees a heart attack, but luckily managed to leave without a body count in our wake. After the boutique, I was dragged to a salon and abandoned to their mercy. When Illumi returned for me, he was wearing a sharp obsidian suit and nearly took my breath away. He stared at me for a long moment but didn’t say a word as he inspected the salon’s handiwork and the new sleek backless onyx dress. I didn’t like that the dress was backless or that my colorless hair was currently pinned atop my head revealing the scarred letters across my shoulder blades in view for everyone to see. ‘DEMON’. It was how the world had always seen me. Once we arrived at the restaurant, the bloodshed began.

Men whose eyes lingered too long, were immediately blinded with two nen needles to the eye women who dared to make a snide remark were silenced forever with a slew of nen needles. Before long every other patron and most of the staff, was dead. We were then shown to the best table with a scenic view of the city lights below from the penthouse restaurant, by a sniveling waiter who kept his eyes low and bowed more than was necessary.

Another waiter served us wine as our first waiter appeared to have fainted in the kitchen. I sipped at my glass of Riesling and turned my gaze to the glow of lights out the window as my only other view options were a sea of corpses or trying to figure out what kind of expressions were hidden beneath Illumi’s expressionless mask. I could feel his dark soulless eyes transfixed on me, trying to read me. His lips pulled into a small faint frown and for a moment it looked as if he wanted to say something but was incapable of expressing it.

I looked away from the glowing city lights and turned to him curiously, “Is something the matter, Illumi-sama?”

His frown became more pronounced but vanished after a moment. Instead of responding he sipped at his glass of Malbec and turned his dark gaze to the window.

Our new waiter returned with some fresh baked bread, “Would you like to see some menus?” His voice cracked from nervousness.

I turned to the waiter and watched him jump, visibly startled, as he met my gaze. Eyes the color of blood, eyes that had always made me an outcast, that labeled me as a demon. Two nen needles, thrown with enough force, they pierced him through his eyes and exited out the back of his skull, killing him in an instant flew from Illumi’s direction. As a child I’d grown accustom to people fearing me, shying away from me and treating me like a demon. Living with the Zoldyck’s, I never experienced such treatment, I was no more demon than they were.

I turned to Illumi curiously, “Why did you do that?” Not that I expected an answer from him, he rarely answered me when I questioned his actions.

“It upset you.” Illumi’s voice nearly startled me. What? He killed a man merely for reflexively reacting in repulsion and fear from my eyes, simply because it upset me?

“And the rest?” I mused.

Illumi’s face was blank, apparently done answering for his actions.

“Not that I’m sure if it was your intention or not, but you don’t have to protect my feelings, Illumi-sama. I don’t mind if other’s think of me as a demon anymore.” I smiled softly.

He looked at me, his expression still blank, holding my gaze as if trying to detect the lie in my words, but there was none. I must have been reflecting on the past and my face must have revealed some kind of pain, but it no longer mattered to me, how others saw me. His was the only opinion that mattered, and he didn’t see me as a demon.

Once again, he looked as if he wanted to say something, but was incapable. What on earth could he be struggling with so much?

“Illumi-sama, are you alri-?”

“You’re beautiful.”

My face burned at this. Every inch of me turned scarlet and thousands of butterflies went insane in my stomach. My breath hitched in my throat and I hurriedly reached for my glass of wine, my nerves were shot. Why would he say something like that? What was I supposed to do? I nearly choked on my wine and ended up setting the glass down with a little too much force causing the stem of the glass to splinter in my hands. I jolted to my feet as the pain set in only to jump as Illumi appeared behind me.

His strong arms wound around me from behind grasping my wrist in his hand gently as he inspected the damage. My heart was pounding in my chest at the closeness of our bodies I was sure he’d be able to feel it through my back. I felt like my body was on fire as he held me from behind and began tending to the wound on my hand. He removed the glass from my hand revealing a slew of cuts. Blood pooled in the palm of my hand.

“Ah…Sorry… I’m going to go wash up.” I squeaked as I attempted to remove myself from him but met resistance. “Illumi-sama?”

His lips were pressed into a frown and there was something revealed within his dark eyes, “Was it because of what I said?” He asked tonelessly.

“Um, no of course no-.” His eyes narrowed catching my deceit. “It caught me off guard, is all.” I corrected myself.

“Did it displease you?” He asked after a long pause. Was he worried that he’d done something to upset me?

I turned to him with a smile as my heart swelled, “No…It’s just…you’ve never-…I’m not used to…” My cheeks reddened, I couldn’t string together a coherent thought.

My breath hitched in my throat as his fingers lightly brushed my cheek catching a stray strand of colorless hair that had struggled out of its confines. He gazed down at me intently as if trying to discern something and before I could ask him what it was, his hand slapped against my forehead with enough force if he hadn’t been supporting me with his other arm I’d have fallen backward.

“Your face is red.”

Yes, and my forehead was now probably going to be red or purple for the rest of the night. “I’m fine, but I would like to go wash my hands.” And possibly try to figure out if I had a concussion.

He released me from his hold, his face still stuck in a frown as I crossed the dining room full of corpses to the ladies’ room. I heard the sound of hushed frantic voices from within and hesitated outside of the door. There were still people alive?

“That man is a psychopath! We need to call the authorities!” Were they talking about Illumi? Rage bubbled up inside of me.

“He’s a freak-.”

I kicked the door open causing the trio of women to scream in panic.

“I’m sorry, were you ladies speaking ill of my husband?” The voice that came out of my mouth, didn’t sound like my own, it was dark and twisted in rage and venom. It was a rage I’d not experienced in years, not since Shea. My vision was starting to blur. How dare they speak poorly of Illumi!

“We’ve already called the authorities and soon you and that monster will-.”

My body moved on autopilot, my nails shifting and elongating into claws as my vision suddenly went red with blood. They didn’t even have a chance to scream as something guttural and primal took hold of my body. I lost myself in my rage as I had done many years ago when Shea was murdered. Broiling hot unbridled rage rolled through me in sickening waves as I felt my claw-like nails tear through the stupid girls who’d dared to insult Illumi.

“Syn.” His voice chimed from the doorway, snapping me from my rage.

I shook my head and stared about the once pristine bathroom in disbelief, every inch of it was covered in blood and gore. Organs were strewn about in an artistic fashion forming a heart on the floor, there was blood, tissue and carnage in every crevice, blood now filling the space between every tile acting as a macabre grout. My hair had tumbled loose and was dyed a deep bloody crimson and the ends dripped more blood onto the floor. The contents of my stomach threatened to expel themselves from my body violently, but I somehow managed to keep it together.

Shakily I turned around to find Illumi framed in the doorway. His face was, as usual, expressionless, but his eyes held warmth. And just like the time before, many years ago, he held his hand out to me without hesitation, without judgement, pity or scorn. My fingers trembled unsteadily as I slowly reached for his hand. He gripped my bloody hand in his, not seeming the least bit bothered by my macabre appearance or the fact that I’d lost myself so much in my bloodlust and apparently enjoyed myself enough to arrange the organs of my victims into a grisly heart on the floor. Why did I do that?

His hand tightened around mine giving it a reassuring squeeze before pulling me closer. A squeak escaped me as I tumbled into his arms, but it was cut off as he pressed his lips to mine. I felt a fire ignite in my core as I wound my arms around him in an attempt to keep myself upright and kissed him back. He kissed me forcefully and despite the fire burning inside of me I found myself retreating. My heart skipped a beat as I felt my back hit the blood-stained wall. I managed to break the kiss and gasped for air. Breathing was becoming increasingly difficult and the room felt stifling hot.

Illumi looked like he was actually struggling for composure, his own breathing appeared to be labored and there was something revealed within his dark soulless eyes, I’d never thought I’d see. Desire burned in his obsidian gaze as he stared down at me dripping in blood.

“Let’s go.” He didn’t give me a chance to catch my breath or respond before sweeping me into his arms.

My heart was beating so fast, I was sure I’d slip into cardiac arrest and I was both grateful and cursing his strong arms as they cradled me securely against his taut torso. Illumi easily maneuvered atop rooftops to keep us out of the public eye, but a troublesome thought crossed my mind after a moment as I realized we were heading in the opposite direction of the way to get back home.

“Illumi-sama? Where are we going?”

He pointed straight ahead to a fancy looking hotel as we dropped into an alley below and he continued straight for the front door.

“Ah! We’ll cause panic if we go in there soaked in blood.” I attempted to wriggle out of his hold, but his grip around me tightened and I sighed in defeat was we stepped through the revolving glass doors.

As I predicted, there was a chorus of screams at the sight of me, still dripping with blood in Illumi’s arms. He balanced me against him with one arm as he cast out a slew of nen needles into the lobby hitting anyone who screamed or reacted to our appearance, which only created more panic. I shook my head and resisted the urge to roll my eyes as several security guards attempted to charge us.

“Happy Anniversary.” I laughed dryly as I managed to break from his hold before lunging at the approaching guards. My nails once again shifted into claws and I cut them down with ease. In seconds, the lobby was filled with corpses as staff and patrons alike were all cut down. Curiously, I looked to Illumi to see what his next course of action would be.

He crossed the corpse filled lobby and headed for the front desk before casually ringing the bell for assistance. I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. I’d been with the Zoldyck family for too long, death no longer bothered me, even the death of innocents.

A terrified balding man scrambled out of a utility closet behind the desk and straightened himself up before shakily approaching the desk. “M-may I help you sir?” His voice was high pitched and cracking in fear.

“Reservation.” Illumi noted his voice light but toneless.

When did he make a reservation?

“Y-yes of course sir, m-may I have the n-name?” The clerk was about to piss himself.

“Zoldyck.”

The balding man paled considerably and for a moment I thought he’d faint and Illumi would kill him out of sheer annoyance, but he composed himself. “Very good sir.” He slid a key card across the desk, “Do you need anything else sir?”

Illumi was growing annoyed with the string of questions. He turned to me watching me curiously for a long moment before turning back to the clerk. “Room Service.” And with that said he grabbed the key and swept me off my feet before heading for the elevator leaving the poor clerk to figure out what to send up for room service.

We reached the executive suite on the top floor in a matter of minutes, mostly due to the slow elevator and the few stops along the way and the bodies left in its wake. My heart was pounding and my stomach was tying itself into knots. My nerves were shot as I thought about what was to come and couldn’t tell if it thrilled or terrified me. What else did couples go to hotels for? This was entirely uncharted territory. Illumi wasn’t affectionate, we rarely spoke, kissing was still new and now we were just jumping into…I couldn’t even finish the thought as my entire body began to burn with embarrassment.

Illumi carried me through the pristine room littered with expensive furniture, intricate filigree along the walls, pricey antique art and glittering chandeliers. We reached the bathroom and I thought my heart was going to catapult out of my chest as he set me on my feet in the giant open shower before reaching for the spigot to turn on the showerheads on the ceiling. I jumped as warm water cascaded from the ceiling dousing the pair of us and stared mesmerized as I watched the pristine marble tile at Illumi’s feet become stained with blood.

I slowly entwined my arms around his neck as the warm water washed away the blood and gore clinging to my hair and skin. My heart was racing, my stomach was in knots and I felt a burning desire deep in my core like something primal within me was trying to claw its way out. Illumi’s eyes widened a fraction as I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, catching him by surprise.

We lost ourselves in bliss, sopping wet blood-stained clothes were littering the bathroom floor and we’d somehow managed to make it to the vanity counter instead of the standing shower, when a knock at the door separated us.

Illumi draped a plush white robe across my shoulders before slipping into his own as the clothes we’d been wearing, didn’t survive the shower intact. He went to get the door, most likely killing whoever had brought us room service in the process. When he returned with a cart littered with various cloches, a heavenly aroma wafted into the room causing my stomach to growl. My cheeks flushed with color.

Illumi’s lips twitched at this, but his face remained expressionless, perhaps he remembered our first meeting. I thought he was going to kill me when we’d first met because my stomach had grumbled so loudly. He lifted the first silver cloche to reveal a plate of chocolate covered strawberries. Beneath the second was what looked like beef wellington. Once all the cloches had been removed we had a buffet of various meals, sides and desserts. We wheeled the cart to the balcony and sat beneath the starlight looking out at the glowing city lights below as we dined on the various delectable plates.

“Illumi-sama?”

“Hm?”

I smiled, he was becoming much more responsive, “If we plan to celebrate our anniversary in the future, perhaps we should do so at home, for the welfare of the public.”

For the briefest of moments, I saw the faintest trace of a smile spark at his lips, but it was gone in an instant, “Happy Anniversary, Syn.”

My heart swelled with joy, “Happy Anniversary, Illumi-sama.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is a lemon (that means there will be sex, so if you don't like lemons or feel you are not mature enough to read such content, I advise skipping chapter 20, I'll add warnings before lemons for people who do not like to read such content)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lemon!!! That means there be smut ahead? ... yonder? ... below? 
> 
> If you do not like such content, feel free to skip this chapter

Illumi left me alone in the hotel suite as he went in search of clothes, as ours were drenched in blood, gore and practically in tatters. I sat on one of the comfy armchairs wrapped in a soft fluffy bathrobe with a glass of wine in one hand as I waited for Illumi’s return. There was a loud thunderous knock on the hotel door. I could faintly hear raised voices outside.

“They’re in here! That freak with the dead eyes murdered my husband. I want him and that bitch dead!”

I turned to the door curiously as I felt something welling up inside of me. Rage bubbled up, I could feel it brewing inside of my stomach like molten hot lava. I could feel a darkness within me, a caged beast trying to claw its way out. They were here to kill Illumi.

My body moved on autopilot as I slipped toward the door, my nails elongated and sharpened into razor sharp points.

“He’s a raving lunatic, a madman! Kill him!” There were more voices in the hall. They were talking about Illumi. HOW DARE THEY!

The door opened as I was about to reach for it. They had a key! Something inside of me snapped. They didn’t know Illumi, they had no right to say vile things about him. That strange terrifying sensation washed over me once more, my vision turned red and I dove into the onslaught of armed men in a flurry of murderous rage as they tried to storm the room.

In the back of my mind I could hear their screams of terror as I lost myself to the darkness inside of me and gave over control of my movements to the true demon inside. Tiny lower level demons began appearing in the hall at random as if I were summoning them at will they held off those who tried to escape and took down any they could. It was pure carnage and something inside of me relished every moment of it.

The hall was soon a sea of corpses, there was so much blood, I could see it trickling down the elevator shaft and stairwell and spreading beneath the doors of the other suites in the hall. I headed for the stairwell leaving a trail of bloody footprints behind me once I reached the lower level and blood was no longer pooling down the steps. The edges of my vision were blood red as I entered the lobby. It was empty, save for the single employee behind the front desk, the man who’d given us our room key.

He let out an audible squeal when he noticed me, “Ah! M-M-Mrs. Zoldyck, is the room to your likin-.” His eyes grew wide and he cut off with a gasp as I drew nearer and he was able to make out the blood-soaked robe, my now deep crimson hair, dyed by the blood of those vile people who dared to insult Illumi.

“You didn’t happen to give a key of my suite to a mob of angry people, did you?” I asked him sweetly.

Sweat began to bead on his face. “W-what?” His voice went up a couple of octaves. “N-no, of course not.” His eyes shifted and I noticed his hand moving beneath the desk to trigger some kind of alarm.

“Wrong answer.” I hissed and leaned forward grabbing him by his shirt collar and wrenching him across the desk. My claws easily tore through his chest cavity, breaking through flesh, bone and tissue until I got a firm grip on his spinal cord before wrenching it out of his chest with some of his ribs, his lungs and heart still intact.

He let out a guttural scream before he was overcome with a choked gurgling. His body jerked for a moment before I released him from my hold and walked away as he drew his last breath. I paused as I noticed the room was now filled with security and local law enforcement and frowned. There were at least twenty of them.

They trained their guns on me but before I had a moment to act twenty of Illumi’s nen needles whizzed through the air from the stairwell hitting every single mark in the temple, killing them all in an instant. One of the guns fired as the man holding it applied pressure to the trigger as he fell and the bullet grazed my arm.

Illumi appeared before me, his face as always, an emotionless mask, though I noticed the corners of his mouth were slightly pulled downward in a frown and there was something revealed in his dark soulless gaze as he took in my blood-soaked appearance. His eyes flicked to the blood dripping from my hair, pooling on the ground around me before casually glancing behind me to my last victim with a good portion of his insides, intact sticking out of his chest. I opened my mouth to explain myself but cut off with a gasp as he swept me off my feet.

“Ah! Illumi-sama, w-what are you doing?” I squeaked as he carried me toward the stairs. “We should leave.”

He didn’t cast me so much as a second glance as he ascended the stairs. Once we got nearer to our floor I could hear the faint sickening squishing sound as he stepped in semi-congealed blood drying on the steps. When we reached the landing, I felt my heart plummet as I took in the amount of carnage before us. I did this? How did I do this? There was blood and dismembered corpses filling the entire hall, splashed across the walls, tissue, organs, eyes, limbs all strewn about. Blood dripping off of door handles and paintings. My gaze flicked to a chandelier overhead that had someone’s small intestine draped around it. What was wrong with me?!

Illumi didn’t seem the slightest bit phased by the carnage in the hall and continued on his way. His shoes squished across the blood-soaked carpet as he carried me to our room before kicking the door shut behind him. What was he doing? There was a strange almost primal look in his dark soulless eyes. I’d seen a spark of it earlier when we were in the shower, but not like this.

“Illumi-sama?” I tried to shake him from his silence as he carried me toward the bed. I opened my mouth once more but was cut off as his lips came crashing down on mine, not the least bit bothered that I was covered in the blood of the people I’d slaughtered outside of our room. My arms entwined around his neck as I suddenly felt light headed as he stole my breath away with a rough passionate kiss. Something stirred within me, something dark and primal trying to tear its way to the surface as I lost myself in his kiss.

He broke the kiss and released me from his hold dropping me atop the bed. My body felt like it was on fire as he leaned over me, his deft fingers untying the blood-soaked robe with one fluid motion. Before I had a moment to catch my breath he leaned forward capturing my lips in a sultry kiss that spread warmth through my core and made me melt beneath him. His hands moved quickly to pull the blood soaked robe away from my naked body leaving me feeling a little self-conscious and vulnerable.

My heart was racing so fast in my chest I could practically feel it pulsating against my ribs with each and every beat. I kissed him back with a fire as his long silken ebony hair fell around us like a curtain shielding us from the world. Not liking being the only one naked and vulnerable, I struggled to disrobe him as we were still locked in an almost desperate kiss. We broke the kiss so I could pull his shirt over his head and I gasped for breath. I splayed my hand across his perfectly toned pectoral muscles. His skin beneath my touch grew hot and I saw a flicker of something primal in his dark soulless gaze.

He caught my wrist in an iron tight grip, urging a gasp from me before pinning my hand to the bed. I could faintly see the vein in his neck, throbbing, though his face was as expressionless as ever, I could see his pulse was racing. His breathing was somewhat labored. I’d never seen him so affected by anything before. This was the most reactive he’d ever been.

“Illumi-?” I cut off with a gasp as he pressed his lips to mine, stealing my words away with another passionate kiss. I could lose myself in him. My head was already swimming. There was a strange sense of euphoric desire threatening to take hold, driving me mad with every kiss, every touch, I was losing my mind.

He pulled back, releasing my wrist from his death grip and stood at the edge of the bed staring at my naked body his hands hovering over the waist line of his pants as if he were about to remove them. His face was expressionless, but his dark soulless eyes were filled with raw primal desire.

“I’m covered in blood.” My voice came out in a desperate squeak as I thought about what was to come. I’d never really gotten ‘the talk’ I wasn’t sure what to expect. Kikyo had tried to explain it to me once upon a time, but she made it sound very warped, twisted and included lots of sadistic and masochistic examples that I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to explore. I should shower first.

As I made a move to get up, I froze with a sharp intake of breath as Illumi placed a hand on my shoulder halting my retreat. “You’re beautiful in blood.” He hesitated, as if he didn’t want to make a move until he was sure this was something I wanted too.

My heart skipped a beat. I slowly reached up and placed my hand over top of his before forcing myself to meet his gaze. Though I was scared and worried he might hurt me, if I said I didn’t want this, didn’t want him, it would be a lie. Even if he completely shattered me, I would endure. Any torture he could ever inflict on me, I could take it, if it made him happy. I bit my lip before answering his silent question with a single nod.

He removed his pants as he distracted me with a kiss. I caught a glimpse of his naked body before he gently pushed me down, not breaking our kiss and felt my heart flutter insanely in my chest, he was a god. His hard-chiseled body pressed against mine causing a fire to spark within me, a burning desire that wouldn’t be snuffed out. I needed him.

I entwined my arms around his neck as I kissed him back feverously. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered by the blood now spread across his neck and back from my blood-soaked hands. Though I knew it should repulse me, deep down it excited me. The macabre beast trapped within me relished in the sinful, twisted act. Illumi broke the kiss and trailed a line of tantalizing kisses down my chin to my bloody neck. A shiver rolled down my spine as he kissed my neck. He bit down on the tender delicate curve in my neck urging a soft gasp of pain from my lips.

“Illumi.” His name slipped from my lips like a breathy sigh of pure desire, I was going mad with my growing need for him. My entire body felt like it was being swathed in blissful fire, heat burned through my core reaching to parts of my body I didn’t know could feel so deeply sending electrical spasms through me.

A low almost animalist growl of a sound escaped him as I said his name and I shuddered beneath him as I felt the tip of his erect member pressing against my dewy virginal lips. His dark eyes met mine searching, scanning, making sure I wanted this. I leaned forward possessed with desire and pressed my lips to his hungrily taking him into my mouth, kissing him with a passion I’d never known. Content with my way of expressing my consent, he broke through my virginal lips with a single thrust of his hips urging a soft cry from me as he tore my innocence. There was a brief fleeting moment of pain before pleasurable warmth washed over me.

He kissed me back with a fire as we moved in perfect synchronization. The untamable beast within me turned my nails to claws and I lightly grazed the skin on his back. Illumi moaned against me, a mix of pain and pleasure as a small amount of blood bubbled to the surface. He was trying so hard to be gentle with me but that terrifying primal monster within me wanted more.

I broke our kiss and a gasp escaped me as I saw my eyes reflected within his dark soulless gaze, they were glowing. Illumi froze for a moment before slowly reaching up with his hand to cup my cheek.

“Syn?”

My name on his lips did unspeakable things to my heart and I gave in to my desire, letting the darkness within me take over once again. I managed to overpower him and flip him onto his back, taking charge and placed his hands on my hips as I began to move again. He matched my pace and before long we both lost ourselves in the sin of lust. We were insatiable in our primal desire and soon moved from the bed, to the chaise lounge, the dining table, and the balcony until we finally came in synchronous orgasmic bliss in front of the fireplace drenched in sweat and the blood of our victims.

I collapsed in his arms with a soft dreamy sigh of euphoric contentment as my heart thundered in my chest and I struggled to catch my breath. “I love you, Illumi.” I panted softly as I splayed my hand on his bloody chest.

He pressed his lips to the top of my head before stroking his bloody hand through my once colorless hair that was now stained a dark rusty brown from the dried blood stuck in it. “I love you, Syn.” His strong arms encircled me and I let out a soft squeak as he got to his feet and carried me to the bathroom for a much-needed shower.


	21. Chapter 21

The night Illumi and I were to fulfill a contract to kill ten mafia dons in Yorknew City, the imp I sent with Killua alerted me. Something was wrong, Killua was frightened. Illumi noticed my body tense as we sat down to dinner at our hotel room near Yorknew City. His dark eyes watched me carefully.

“Syn?”

“Something’s wrong with Killua…” Before I could say anything more, I felt the pull of a contract as I heard Killua’s voice shakily call my name. My body was ripped through a portal before I had the chance to warn Illumi. The last thing I saw was his dark soulless eyes growing wide as I was ripped away.

“SYN!” His voice faded away to nothing as I felt myself reappear in a run-down cathedral. Before I had a moment to catch my bearings, I felt a strong arm encircle me, pinning my arms to my sides. A playing card with razor sharp edges pressed against my neck. Not enough to draw blood but enough to make its presence known.

I chanced a glance back at my captor out of the corner of my eye, Hisoka? His amber eyes conveyed a silent message, he didn’t want me to reveal that I knew him. Looking away from him, I surveyed the run-down room curiously. My eyes fell on Killua and Gon near a fallen piece of rubble that appeared to be being used as an arm-wrestling table for Gon and some tall man with long black hair. What the hell was going on?

“Nee-sama.” Killua blanched, he hadn’t meant to summon me only for me to be apprehended right away. It wasn’t his fault, I’d never been summoned before. Is this what my demons felt when I summoned them?

I offered him a small reassuring smile, “I’m not sure I like your new friends, Kil-chan.” My blood red eyes scanned the room, every individual here exuded a lot of power. If it came down to a fight, I’d have to pull out all the stops and summon the strongest demon in my arsenal, a demon so strong, I’d never managed a successful summons and nearly died every time I’d tried in the past. After the murder frenzy that was my wedding anniversary, I felt stronger than before. My Nen had gotten stronger, I could summon lesser demons at will without expending any energy and Cerberus was much easier to summon.

Hisoka’s grip on me tightened as if he sensed I was going to do something. Though he was hard to read at the moment, I had a feeling he was concerned for me. The scar on my back where the word ‘DEMON’ had been carved into my skin began to burn. My gaze fell on Killua’s ankles to two rings, one on each ankle, where his skin had been rubbed off and was now a deep purple, like a severe rope burn. My eyes narrowed at this.

“Who hurt you?” I demanded, my voice shifting. The beast inside of me let out a snarl of pure unbridled rage and began clawing desperately at my insides trying to dig its way to the surface. Black tendrils of energy began to appear around me as dozens of low-level demon hounds began appearing out of nowhere their presences completely masked, no one had noticed.

“If you don’t want to be dragged to hell, I advise you release me, clown.” I hissed at Hisoka.

“Syn-chan is so scary.” He breathed in my ear so no one else could hear before releasing me from his hold and leaping back as one of the black tendrils of energy around me lashed out at him.

“Oh, now that’s interesting…” The man sitting at the makeshift table of rubble gripping Gon’s now bloody hand remarked. “I think the boss would like her. Hey, Girl, any interest in joining the spiders? These two have already said no.” He indicated Killua and Gon.

Spiders? Silva had mentioned them once before, they were also known as The Phantom Troupe, he’d killed one on a contract and said the job wasn’t worth the price. I frowned at this and took another quick scan of the room. There were eleven of them in total, including Hisoka, though I had a feeling if I were to get serious, he wouldn’t stand in my way.

My nails shifted to claws and I rapidly carved two summoning circles into the palms of my hands, “I have no interest in joining anyone, now which of you bastards dared to harm my little brother?”

The man with the long black hair laughed at this, “You’re a feisty little thing. Think carefully, little lady, there’s a lot more of us than there are of you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” I snapped my fingers dropping the cloaking over the hell hounds and watched as all of the spiders jumped as the horde of snarling hell hounds seemingly appeared from nowhere. As the spiders began fending off against the low-level hounds, I dug my claws into my wrists creating a steady stream of blood to spill over the summoning circles I carved into my palms as I envisioned the three headed demon hound in my mind’s eye.

A portal opened up next to me and the ground began to shake as Cerberus stepped out of it, all three of his head’s snapping and snarling. I darted forward, lunging for the man with the long hair still gripping Gon’s bloody hand. He released his hold on Gon and unsheathed the katana at his hip.

There was a loud clang as the steel of his blade met my claws. Neither gave and we both flipped away from one another as we realized we weren’t going to be able to cut through each other’s weapon so easily.

“I’m impressed, little lady.” He remarked as I put myself between the boys and The Phantom Troupe.

The imp I’d left with Illumi was moving quickly and felt terrified as Illumi’s rage spiraled out of control, it was even worse than the time he almost killed Milluki. This wasn’t good. I paled. “Killua, what city are we in?” I asked him warily.

“Yorknew.”

“Ah. Well, this could get interesting.” I grimaced.

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t really warn Illumi-sama that you could summon me if you needed me…I just kind of vanished…seems like he’s on his way…” I laughed nervously.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hisoka blanch at this. He knew first hand how terrifying my husband could be when he thought my life was in danger, but what he didn’t realize was that after our massacre of an anniversary, Illumi had gotten stronger too.

“I don’t think it’s going to be safe here.” I frowned. “You two should get going.” I snapped my fingers and two more low level hounds appeared.

Cerberus was keeping the other spiders at bay and I was glad to see they were all struggling against him. Perhaps I wouldn’t need to attempt to summon Balor. I picked up Killua and placed him on one of the hell hounds and repeated the process with Gon before ruffling their hair affectionately. Returning the imp to Killua’s shoulder without his notice I offered him a smile.

“Remember, if you ever need me, just call my name. I love you, Kil-chan.” I kissed him atop the head before sending them away with a wave of my hand.

Not long after Killua and Gon left, I sensed a terrifying aura and looked to the doorway. My heart raced as I spotted Illumi standing in the doorway his body stiff and rigid with a murderous rage unlike any I’d seen before. His long ebony hair was fluttering in an unseen wind and a dark shadow crossed his face giving him a nightmarish appearance.

“Illumi-sama.” I tried to shake him from his rage.

Cerberus let out a yelp and tucked his tail between his legs as two of his three heads turned to Illumi. That wasn’t a good sign. He was going to kill EVERYONE. I caught Hisoka’s gaze. A mischievous smile crossed his face and a horrifying thought crossed my mind. He probably wanted to fight Illumi at some point and just thought of the perfect plan to get Illumi to fight him. I had a bad feeling it involved using me as bait and shot him a glare. Now was not the time for his wicked schemes.

Illumi’s dark soulless gaze fell on me and to the blood streaming from my wrists. I blanched as he vanished from sight only to reappear before me in a heartbeat. My heart stuttered in my chest as he caught my arm in his hand and raised it so he could look at the wounds.

“I’m fine, I did it to myself.” I tried calmly to bring him back to his senses as he glared at everyone in the room.

Cerberus let out a whimper and began to cower under Illumi’s frightening gaze. This made the other spiders apprehensive enough to keep their distance as the three headed demon hound that had just been throwing some of them around like ragdolls was now yelping and cowering.

“We have a contract…” I tried to remind him.

He took a step away from me. Hisoka started to show a fraction of concern as he realized Illumi was unshakable in his rage. Before I could try anything else, Illumi disappeared from my line of sight.

“Not good.” I paled as two of the spiders suddenly went flying and a slew of Nen needles rained down upon the rest.

They were all skilled enough to avoid being killed by his first strike. I dismissed Cerberus for his safety as Illumi launched a second attack. His attacks were getting faster and deadlier, the spiders wouldn’t be able to dodge for long, not when he was like this. If he kept this up, they’d all die, even Hisoka. I had to do something before he killed them all. Though he liked to think of Hisoka as merely an ally, I felt that might not be the case. Even if he didn’t think so, I felt like they were friends and he might not want him to die, yet.

“Illumi-sama!” I yelled to him as he sent Hisoka flying.

Nothing.

I had to do something drastic to get his attention. “I’m pregnant!”

Illumi froze in place and all the spiders got a moment to catch their breath before everyone turned to me wide eyed. I jumped as Illumi appeared before me in the blink of an eye. His hands pressed to either side of my face drawing my gaze to his while simultaneously mushing my cheeks together. The terrifying aura around him began to dissipate.

“Ow.” I grumbled.

He eased his grip and looked down at me unblinkingly.

“I think they got the message…I’m pretty sure it was all just a misunderstanding anyway, let’s not try to start a war with the Phantom Troupe right now…I don’t think either side wants that…” I scanned the room of wary spiders and placed my hand in his before offering them all a small wicked smile, “Sorry for dropping in uninvited. I suggest you don’t pick on children anymore…”

Illumi looked down at me curiously.

“Just who the hell are you people?” A man wearing a green tracksuit with short blonde hair and sharp eyes snapped at us.

“Ah. I think I know.” Another young man with short neat blonde hair chimed in, “You’re Zoldyck assassins, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” I replied coolly but cut off with a squeak as Illumi swept me off my feet, “Ah, Illumi-sama?”

He carried me out of the run-down cathedral without a word. I was surprised none of the spiders tried to apprehend us but was grateful as I had a feeling the same trick wouldn’t work twice to pull him back from the edge. Once we were far enough away, Illumi looked down at me, “Are you?”

I blanched and shook my head, “No…I’m not really pregnant…”

He nodded but said nothing more on the subject.

“Sorry for being dishonest…and for disappearing.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know, honestly. I’ve never been summoned before…Killua and Gon appeared to have gotten mixed up with The Phantom Troupe somehow. I made sure they got away safely… but I don’t know why they were there in the first place…” I frowned.

Illumi shrugged. Though his face was an emotionless mask, I noticed a small bit of tension in his shoulders.

“Illumi-sama?”

“Hm?”

I frowned not quite sure how to phrase it, “You seem tense…is something wrong?”

“Don’t disappear again.” He said simply.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck, “I’ll try my best.” I pressed my lips to his in a sweet kiss, “Sorry for worrying you.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There be some smut ahead

I woke with a contented sigh and stretched beneath the satin sheets clinging to my naked body. My skin felt grimy from the dried blood caked to me. I rolled over onto my stomach and slowly opened my eyes only to let out a soft gasp as I found a pair of soulless black eyes staring back at me. Illumi appeared to have woken some time ago, he was dressed and sitting on the floor next to the bed at eye level with me. A smile tugged at my lips as I extended my arms toward him, entwining them around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Good morning.” I felt absolutely euphoric after our night of hot murderous bliss.

Illumi’s lips twitched slightly as if he were about to show a sliver of a smile, “it’s afternoon.”

“Why didn’t you wake me sooner?” I asked him curiously.

“I like watching you sleep.” He replied simply as if that wasn’t remotely creepy.

I pushed myself up into a sitting position wrapping the satin sheets around my naked body and grimaced at the feeling of it rubbing up against the spots where there was dried blood clinging to my skin. It felt like I’d spent the night at the beach and had sand stuck to me. I glanced toward the bathroom longing to take a shower. My gaze lingered near the door as I spotted a new body, I didn’t remember from our previous night’s victims. All the neighbors who had the bright idea to tell us to keep it down in the midst of our passion filled night, met their demise, which only seemed to fuel our passion. The new body appeared to belong to a bellhop. I turned to the small table in the center of the spacious suite and spotted two silver cloches in front of each chair.

“Room service?” I turned to Illumi curiously.

He blinked, deciding that was all the response I needed before slowly rising to his feet. He extended a hand to me, his eyes lingering to the patches of dried blood clinging to my bare arms and staining the ends of my hair. It didn’t phase him. If anything, it only appeared to excite him, though it was impossible to tell with his expressionless face.

“I think I should take a shower.” I hesitated.

“Eat first.”

I accepted his hand and allowed him to pull me to my feet and steer me to the table. My gaze flicked to the bodies piled up near the door and I couldn’t help but giggle, “maybe we shouldn’t stay at hotels anymore.”

Illumi shrugged.

After breakfast, I stiffly rose from my chair feeling a little sore from our adventures the night before. Illumi followed me into the bathroom. I turned to him curiously.

“Illumi-sama?”

He didn’t respond.

My heart started to pound in my chest, racing erratically in anticipation and anxiousness. He wanted to watch me. It was nerve-wracking but also a little thrilling. I felt exposed and vulnerable even with the satin sheet wrapped around me. Realizing I wasn’t going to get a response from him, I hesitantly moved toward the shower. It was large and specious with a faucet head affixed to the ceiling that rained down from above. I turned on the water and hesitantly dropped the sheet revealing my naked scarred and bloodied body.

I stepped beneath the warm water raining from the ceiling and tried not to think about Illumi watching me from the counter. It was hard to relax; I could feel his eyes tracing every inch of me. My body burned with desire. Once I’d scrubbed off a good amount of the blood, I chanced a glance in Illumi’s direction. Our eyes met and I felt my knees begin to weaken. I tore my gaze away from him.

I heard movement behind me and turned curiously only to let out a soft gasp as Illumi stepped beneath the stream, still clothed. He hooked one arm around my waist pulling me possessively against him as he used his free hand to tilt my face upward toward his. A soft dreamy sigh escaped me as he captured my lips in a deep kiss. My knees buckled as his hand tantalizingly swept down my neck to my breasts pausing enough to tease them before continuing downward.

“I-Illumi.” I gasped breathlessly as I managed to break the kiss long enough to get a breath of air. He stole the rest of my words away reclaiming my lips in needy kiss.

I threw my arms around his neck to keep from falling as his tongue slipped into my mouth just as his fingers found my dewy lips between my legs. A soft moan escaped me as he teased me with tantalizing strokes with his tongue and his fingers threatening to send me reeling into madness. This only seemed to encourage him as his arm around my waist tightened its grip to the brink of it being painful. He slipped a finger between my dewy lips and my body trembled with pleasure as he awoke all of my senses.

A cry escaped me as he inserted another finger and used his thumb to cripple me as he teased the sensitive nub threatening to make me writhe with pleasure. My head was swimming. The beast inside of me let out a primal roar and tried to claw its way out. Despite how sore I felt from the previous night’s activities I couldn’t deny myself, I wanted him, so bad it hurt. I reached toward him to tear at his clothes. He pulled his hand away from me leaving me hot and needy, longing for his touch to return.

His hand gripped my wrist tightly as he forced me back until I was pressed against the wall of the shower. Effortlessly he overpowered me pinning my wrists above my head. I managed to break the kiss as he pinned me against the wall, breathless and gasping for sweet oxygen.

“Wh-what are you d-doing?” I squeaked.

He stared at me for a moment. There was a dark fire in his usually blank soulless gaze. Hunger lingered in his eyes as he held my gaze. “You were upset about lying…”

“What?”

“If we make it true, then you didn’t lie.” He said simply before stealing my lips in another kiss.

My brain connected the dots and I gasped and tried to struggle out of his grip. The reason for our hot night of passion and his current advances, was for me. It was sweet in a somewhat twisted way. He was trying hard to make my lie last night, true, so I wouldn’t feel guilty anymore about deceiving him. “Ah! I-I-Illumi, wait!” I cried and broke the kiss.

He paused but made no move to release me. “Hm?”

“Yes…I felt bad about lying…but we don’t have to rush into something like that…we haven’t even talked about it-.” Not that we talked much about anything, my husband wasn’t very chatty.

He blinked at me again.

“Is that even something you want?” I asked him curiously.

He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Do you?” He asked after a long pause.

I felt a blush creep up my cheeks. I’d thought about it a few times; I’d even daydreamed about what our children might look like. “Y-yes, but only if you want-.”

He stole my words away with a kiss. A gasp escaped me as he slipped a finger between my dewy lips and started to tease me again. Heat began to spread from my core. For a brief moment I thought I might melt against him as he kissed me with fire and urged desperate moans from my lips as his fingers worked to tease me. Another gasp escaped me as he leaned against me and I felt his erection against my thigh. I struggled in an attempt to pull my hands free so I could return the favor but his grip on my pinned wrists tightened. I drew in a sharp breath as pain shot through my wrists.

All of his teasing was driving me mad. I couldn’t take it anymore, I wanted him, all of him! “Illumi.” My voice came out in a needy desperate moan, “please.”

His body tensed against mine before he was moving to tear away his now soaked clothes. Before I could offer to help, he’d ripped them off. He pressed a knee between my legs causing them to separate before he entered me in a single thrust that made me cry out in ecstasy. It was hard for me to get a foot hold to move with him from our current position.

He released my wrists as an almost desperate growl rumbled deep in his throat. His hands tightly gripped my thighs and I immediately knew what he wanted. I wrapped my legs around him and shivered in euphoric bliss as he tightly gripped me by the thighs, holding me upright and moving me along with his pace. I threw my arms around his neck. The beast inside of me urged me to claw his back. My nails shifted and I clung to him tightly sinking my nails into his back. He let out a soft sound I’d never heard him make before. I tried to pull back to make sure I hadn’t hurt him before he seemed to lose all control of himself.

For a fleeting moment I was gripped with panic and fear as we switched positions so fast, I wasn’t sure what the hell had happened. I found myself on my knees with the water raining down on us from above before Illumi thrust into me from behind. My back arched and I let out a cry as I desperately tried to keep myself upright. His arms encircled me from behind one moving to tease me between my legs as the other lightly caught my neck in a possessive hold pinning me against him. We melded into one primal writhing mass with the now lukewarm water raining down on us from above. I completely lost myself in primal passion.

I let out a cry of pleasure as I found orgasmic release, not once, not twice, but three times as Illumi thrust into me hard, fast and deep. I felt his own release just as I thought I might collapse from too much pleasure.

He kissed the back of my neck tenderly as he eased his grip around my throat. “Did I hurt you?”

I was still struggling to catch my breath and shook my head not sure I was capable of speech.

He kissed me sweetly on the back of my shoulder and held me close, cradling me gently in his arms. I melted against him unable to support myself any longer as my entire body seemed to turn to mush.

“Sleep.” He ordered me softly as he turned off the shower and lifted me up. He carried me into the bedroom.

“But, what about our mission?” I asked wearily. Sleep sounded amazing, a whole week of it.

“I’ll have Kalluto assist me.” He shrugged as he set me on the bed. “Sleep. His voice commanded softly as he pulled fresh blankets around me.


	23. Chapter 23

I woke briefly as Illumi tried to be tender and tuck me into bed but nearly strangled me in the process. Realizing his mistake, he frowned and I resisted the urge to sigh, he really needed to stop going to Hisoka for advice. Noticing he’d woken me up, his frown deepened before he leaned forward and placed a kiss to my temple.

“Sleep.” He said softly before turning to walk away.

“…Illumi…” I called after him softly not wanting him to leave.

He paused and turned to me. His usual emotionless mask was in place. His dark soulless eyes bore into me and I hesitated.

I bit my lip not wanting to be selfish. He had a contract; it would be wrong to keep him from it. I hesitated not sure what to say since ‘don’t go’ was far too needy. “Be safe.” I said softly and almost cringed, that was unusual for me and he’d definitely catch it.

His lips pulled into a frown and he slowly walked back to the bedside. He reached out to feel my forehead. I instinctively braced myself for the impact expecting to be concussed from it. A gasp escaped me at his surprisingly gentle touch as he placed his hand to my forehead. I opened my eyes and peered up at him.

“What’s wrong?” He frowned again.

“N-nothin-ow.” I grimaced as he caught me by the chin his long fingers smooshing my cheeks together somewhat painfully in his awkward grip as he caught my lie.

He blinked once before easing his grip.

“…I don’t want you to go yet…”

His features seemed to soften though he still wore no expression on his face. He sat down on the bed beside me. I started to relax until he grabbed me by the face and wrenched me closer to him. It seemed like he was trying to be tender again, but was horribly out of practice. He dropped my head onto his lap and I winced at the sudden whiplash I’d received before smiling. Despite how awkward and clumsy it was when he tried to be sweet, it was very endearing.

I relaxed as he gently laid his hand on the side of my head before smoothing his fingers though my pale hair. My eyes fluttered closed, lulled by his touch. “I love you, Illumi.” I sighed somewhat dreamily.

“I love you, Syn.” He said softly as I slowly drifted back to sleep. The last thing I remembered was him moving me into a more comfortable sleeping position and covering me up without strangling me.

…

I woke to the sound of my mobile device ringing shrilly. Sitting up with a yawn, I wrapped the silken sheet around my naked body and went to grab my phone off the table in the entryway where I’d dropped it when Illumi carried me into the room. The bodies from our murderous night of passion had all been cleared away, there was no sign that they’d ever been here.

Zeno’s name flashed across the screen of my mobile device. I picked it up, “Jiji?”

“Syn.” I could hear a smile in his voice, “are you with Illumi?”

“No, he’s on a contract.” I replied softly.

“You’re still near Yorknew City, correct?”

I nodded, “yes, are you nearby?”

“I am. Would you mind meeting me somewhere?”

“I don’t mind.” I smiled.

“I’ll forward you the place and time.” He paused, “you sound happy, Syn.”

I thought of Illumi and couldn’t help but smile, “I am.”

“Good. I’m glad.” He hung up the phone after that and it buzzed a fraction of a second later with an address and time. It wasn’t very far from where I was and he wanted to meet soon.

I hurriedly went to change but paused as I realized my clothes had gotten ruined in the midst of our murderous night of passion. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a small pile of folded black material lying atop the table next to a silver cloche. Did Illumi leave me clothes and food?

I lifted the cloche and smiled as I saw a tray of fresh fruit. I nibbled at the fruit and looked to the clothing neatly folded on the table. When I examined it more closely, I found a surprisingly cute acrobat’s uniform similar to the one Illumi often wore. It was solid black with gold and red accents. It fit perfectly and was easy for me to move in.

After nibbling on some more fruit, I made my way to the location Zeno had sent me to meet him. I arrived under the cover of darkness to find Zeno and Silva waiting for me in a fancy hotel lobby. Silva didn’t appear to notice me, Zeno’s sharp eyes found me right away and he gave me a small smile.

“Good evening, Syn, thank you for meeting us.” Zeno nodded in my direction.

Though it would be impossible for anyone aside from Zeno or myself to tell, Silva seemed surprised to see me. Since whatever had been lying dormant within me had awoken, my skills had improved. “Syn.” He nodded to me after a moment as I drew closer.

“Jiji.” I smiled softly at Zeno before offering Silva a polite bow of my head.

“What are we doing here?” I asked curiously as they both started to walk toward the stairs simultaneously. I followed along behind them waiting for a reply I wasn’t sure I was going to get.

“A contract.” Zeno offered me with a faint smile.

I frowned; I didn’t usually go on contracts with anyone other than Illumi. Deciding it would be best if I stayed quiet, I followed them up the stairs and to a hidden conference room. The hotel seemed to be heavily guarded there were lots of armed guards wearing nice suits. We stepped into the conference room. There were six other individuals sitting on various sofas in the middle of the room. I spotted a few mafioso types standing along the walls, there were armed guards and one fat man in a rich suit yelling into a mobile device.

The six other individuals appeared to be assassins, like us. Zeno and Silva stood off to the side not acknowledging anyone in the room. I stood next to Zeno keeping my head down slightly so my blood red eyes wouldn’t draw too much attention. The mafioso and his guards were discussing something. It appeared one more person was to join this party, whatever it was for. A moment later the door opened and another man in a fancy suit with grey hair stepped into the room with a teenage boy with blonde hair and charcoal eyes. It took me a moment to realize I recognized the boy; it was one of Killua’s friends. If I remembered correctly, his name was Kurapika.

The fat mafioso who’d been yelling on the phone began the meeting. “Alright, we’ve got everyone all together. Your mission is to wipe out the Phantom Troupe. When the auction kicks off again tonight, they may come out of hiding, and if they do eliminate them any way you see fit.”

One of the other assassins spoke up, “so all of us are going after the same target. We should pick out some codenames to use for each other.” The fool expected everyone to work together, how naïve.

“Let’s use colors.” Another responded, “you can just call me blue.” I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, this was ridiculous, we didn’t need these amateurs they were just going to get killed.

“I’ll be red.” Another assassin wearing a strange wooden mask piped up.

Zeno looked amused, “It’s like a game isn’t it?”

The assassin who’d suggested the use of codenames looked to Zeno, Silva and I curiously, “hm, what about you?”

“Silva.” Silva replied in his deep voice and I noticed many of the hired guards shiver at the sound of his voice.

“Zeno.” Zeno spoke quietly earning another shiver from more of them.

“Syn.” I sighed deciding to play along.

“What colors are those?” The man asked.

“We’ll be using our real names.” Zeno replied simply.

The assassin who wanted to be called Blue stared at the three of us in awe, “you will?”

“You are welcome to call me by my name but I won’t take orders, and we’ll do this our own way.” Silva’s voice came out in a low growl that shook some of the other assassins.

“H-hold on. Syn, Silva and Zeno? Like of the Zoldyck family?” Another assassin with a scar over his left eye gaped.

I noticed Kurapika gasp at this realization and his eyes flick in my direction. I offered him a small smile and a polite bow of my head in greeting. His eyes widened.

“Let me know if you want someone killed, you get 30% off for being in the same industry.” Zeno addressed the assassin with the scar across his face in a serious tone.

“We could use code names, but does it matter?” A more seasoned looking assassin with grey hair wearing a pale blue beret interjected.

“He has a point.” A man with the right side of his head shaved and a long bright red ponytail flowing down his left shoulder agreed. “There’s no rule that says we have to work together.”

“But we’re talking about the troupe here.” The first assassin who’d suggested the idea of codenames piped up, he seemed older but also like the most inexperienced. “Attacking alone will be dangerous.”

“For you.” I frowned causing Zeno to crack a small smile and Silva to smirk.

The man with the beret chuckled and turned to Kurapika, “and you?”

“Sloppy teamwork will only serve to cause confusion. I’ll be fine by myself.” He said simply.

I smiled at this.

We were to wait here until whatever auction they’d been talking about began. I wondered if Zeno knew that I’d had a recent run in with the phantom troupe and that was why he’d invited me to join them on this contract or if he just thought they could use some extra help. As we were waiting for time to begin the fat mafioso approached the older mafioso Kurapika had arrived with. It seemed like he was trying to get a rise out of the older man.

The older man snapped back and the fat mafioso lunged for him enraged. Kurapika leapt into action reacting with quick reflexes. A knife appeared in his hand and he moved in to protect his employer. The fat mafioso’s goons made a move to attack the blonde. I turned my gaze on them as two hell hounds appeared next to the blonde growling and snarling at the men trying to get near him startling everyone in the room.

Zeno looked over at me curiously, “you didn’t need to draw a summoning circle?”

I shook my head in response to him before addressing the goons in suits that had tried to attack Kurapika, “If you harm a single hair on the head of my precious little brother’s friend, my hounds will rip you apart.”

Zeno and Silva looked over at Kurapika at this. The goons slowly backed away from Kurapika. One of the hounds vanished in a poof of black mist. The second hound let out a vicious snarl before also vanishing.

Kurapika left with the mafioso he’d arrived with after receiving news that his daughter had collapsed. The other assassins were over eager and rushed off the moment there was word of an intruder in the hotel. Not long after they all rushed off, I began to sense their aura’s disappearing as they were killed off one by one. I followed Zeno and Silva out the door. We found our way to a large reception hall where lots of mafiosos in suits and other unsavory rich men were arguing with the armed guards about the hiring of assassins, wanting their weapons back and to be able to go free and have their chance to go at the intruder.

As their voices began to rise to an annoying volume, I noticed Zeno give Silva some kind of unspoken command. Silva clenched one of his massive fists and swung it backward with enough force the wall began to crack and break apart. There was a loud crack from the impact that rose above the cacophony of voices and a hush fell upon the room as all eyes turned to us standing at the top of the stairs.

Zeno addressed them all calmly, “for those of you who don’t know, my name is Zeno Zoldyck.”

There was a soft murmur of response from the crowd of mafiosos. Of course, they knew. Everyone in the world knew of the Zoldyck family. There were tour busses that drove up to the gate with busses full of tourists. It wasn’t like we made any attempt at hiding who we were or what we did.

Zeno continued on not bothered by their chatter, “at the moment, one bandit has infiltrated this building. He has already killed a number of the assassins that were hired by your people. It wouldn’t much matter if each of you was armed to the teeth, I could still eliminate the lot of you in under seven seconds.” His gaze flicked over to me with a smirk, “I suspect Syn could do it in even less.”

He wasn’t wrong, if I summoned enough hell hounds at once they’d all be dead in under a second. I wasn’t sure that I could summon that many and didn’t feel any need to try. Though, it felt nice to hear him praise me.

“The enemy is every bit as capable.” Zeno continued on in his calm unaffected demeanor. The crowd murmured once more and a sinister look crossed the old man’s face, “if you understand, then just shut up and wait. Disregard, if you would rather die.” With that said we left the reception hall and continued throughout the hotel at a slow pace in search of the intruder.

I looked to Zeno curiously knowing Silva wouldn’t likely answer my questions and would just get annoyed at me for asking. Ever since we’d started having spats regarding Alluka, things had been tense between us and after Illumi had snapped at them all after Milluki had tortured me, it just seemed to strain things even more. Illumi and I had been taking many contracts that led us to stay away from the mansion lately, I wondered if it was so I could get away from his family for a bit or just a coincidence. Knowing Illumi, it was most likely planned. He really was sweet in his own way.

“You had a recent run in with the troupe, I hear.” Zeno remarked quietly as we walked down a hall and paused next to the body of one of the assassins. Silva inspected the body as Zeno turned to me.

I nodded.

“And did you take any of them out?”

“No.”

“Because you had to hold yourself back?” Zeno smirked as if he already knew everything.

I nodded again. I wasn’t able to complete my most dangerous summons because I was too worried about Gon and Killua getting hurt, my priority was getting them to safety.

“Why did you stop Illumi from taking them all out?” Zeno asked me with a smile.

Silva turned his head curiously in my direction at this his eyes widening in surprise.

I frowned, “he had a friend among them…I thought he might have regrets if he killed his friend.”

Zeno nodded and gave my hand a gentle squeeze before snickering, “I hear I might possibly have a great grandchild on the way soon.”

I blanched at this and let out an audible ‘ack’ sound in surprise before staring down at him wide eyed, “ah…no…I don’t think-…how did you-?” My face now a bright shade of red almost as deep of a red as my blood colored orbs.

Zeno chuckled softly before turning his attention back to Silva, “well, then?”

Silva looked down at the man slumped against the wall with a simple ballpoint pen sticking out of the back of his skull. “A single strike from behind. Impressive. His bloodlust was only exposed for an instant and barely a trace remains.”

Zeno sighed, “I suppose I’ll have to use En.” He paused as he looked to me, “Unless you can send some of your unseen friends to scour the hotel.”

I nodded and summoned the lowest among the low of demons. They were tiny little black puffs. I called them soot demons because they looked like little black puffs of soot with eyeballs. They had no arms or legs they just floated to wherever they needed to go. Even using Gyo, they were hard for anyone else to see. In a matter of milliseconds the entire hall was flooded with them. I issued a silent command and they scattered.

Zeno looked at me curiously, “did you already?”

I smiled softly and nodded.

“You’ve improved drastically in such a short time…what changed?” He asked curiously.

_My sex life_. My face turned a bright shade of scarlet as the thought fluttered across my mind and I hurriedly buried my face with my hands causing Zeno and Silva to exchange curious looks. “It’s nothing we need to discuss.” I yelped.

“Ah, Illumi.” Zeno apparently caught on and that only made my face turn redder.

My soot demons returned sparing me from having to endure any further awkward sex talk with my in-laws. “A banquet hall, two floors down.”

Zeno smiled, “Impressive, thank you Syn.”

“Why did you want me here? Won’t I just be in the way?” I asked him warily, based on the report from the soot demons, the intruder was quite possibly the leader of the phantom troupe.

Zeno reached over and caught my hand in his before giving it a reassuring squeeze, “my dear, Syn, you don’t give yourself enough credit. I fear this old man will be in your way.” He chuckled.

“Jiji you’re like the strongest person in existence, I highly doubt that.” I huffed causing Silva to crack a small smile.

Zeno smiled, “aside from your skills as an assassin, the target in question has the ability to steal the abilities of others. It’s just a hunch, but I have a feeling he won’t be able to do that with your abilities.”

I frowned at this as we slowly made our way downstairs, “why?”

“Like you, your abilities are special, Syn. You forge blood contracts with the demons you summon, but I think only your blood is capable of summoning them. Again, it’s just a hunch but I don’t think you’ll have to hold yourself back to keep from making a mistake and getting your abilities stolen. Silva and I will need to be making a conscious effort to avoid getting our abilities stolen.”

We came to a stop outside the banquet hall. There were several doors that led to it. We each stood in front of a different door. Zeno gave a nod and we all stepped inside simultaneously. The doors opened into a large banquet hall. At the back of the hall was a stage with black curtains and a young man in his twenties wearing a black suit. He had silken black hair that would probably fall into his eyes if he weren’t wearing some cloth wrapped around his forehead keeping it out of his face. He appeared to be waiting for us.

He spoke quietly, “we meet again.”

I frowned wondering who’d met him before.

“You remember me?” Silva asked coolly.

“How could I forget. You did kill one of my people.” The man responded.

“It wasn’t easy.” Silva replied and I resisted the urge to grimace. That was quite possibly the highest compliment Silva could give to a target.

The man’s gaze turned to me and he offered me a smile, “ah, you must be the one who caused a ruckus at our hideout.”

“If you’re looking for an apology, you’re not getting one.” I folded my arms across my chest, “your people threatened my precious little brother.”

He chuckled, “I heard. Sorry about that. He and his friend were being nosey, they were just acting accordingly.”

“Consider yourselves sufficiently warned, mess with my little brother and his friends again and I will drag you all to hell.” I smiled as I felt a familiar darkness begin to well up inside of me. That same darkness that always bubbled up to the surface anytime someone said something against Illumi.

Zeno and Silva glanced my way as my nails elongated into claws. I was sure there was a strong wave of bloodlust rolling off of me and permeating the entire room.

“So scary.” The man chuckled softly, “I hear your husband is quite scary as w-.” He cut off with a gasp as I vanished and reappeared before him in a puff of dark black mist dark tendrils of hellish energy coiled up from the ground around me.

“If you like living, I suggest you don’t speak ill of my husband.” I hissed as the monster buried deep inside of me began to claw its way to the surface.

His dark charcoal eyes widened before he smiled once more, “it was a compliment, I was so impressed, I hired him.”

“What?” I dropped my guard momentarily. Did he hire Illumi to kill the contractors who hired Zeno and Silva?

“Sorry little demon, you’re a little too scary for me and I don’t want to face your husband if anything happens to you.” He smiled and made a move to knock me out.

A strange black tentacle encircled his wrist halting him from knocking me out. We both turned to look at what had intervened. I smiled softly to myself as I spotted a demonic looking panther like creature though it was easily double the size of a regular panther and had two black tentacles protruding from the back of its shoulders that were now around the man’s wrists. It let out a low growl.

His eyes widened again as he realized I’d summoned it reflexively without either of our notice, “you have a very interesting ability, Syn.”

I didn’t respond.

“Will your friend go away if I knock you out?” He mused.

I moved away from him only to leap back as he managed to slice through the tentacles holding his wrists with a wicked looking ben’s knife. It had three prongs with wickedly sharp points, from the shape of the blade it was most definitely coated with poison. He lunged after me. He was quick, but so were my in-laws.

Silva and Zeno intercepted him. They moved together flawlessly with rapid strikes. The dark-haired man easily evaded their swings and managed to slash Silva across the inside of his forearm with the knife. There was no wasted movement in his attacks or his dodges, he was a skilled fighter and appeared to have great stamina as he showed no sign of any strain or exertion. It almost looked as if he weren’t really taking this seriously which worried me. I thought about summoning Balor but grimaced at the thought, I’d never summoned him and it was sure to require a great blood sacrifice. I wished I had one of Illumi’s Nen Needles.

As the thought crossed my mind, I thought I felt something in my pocket. I reached into my pocket as I flipped away from the dark-haired man as he tried to take advantage of my dropped guard. My hand encircled one of Illumi’s Nen Needles. I almost teared up as I realized he’d planned ahead for everything and did all he could to make sure I was safe and comfortable. He knew I felt more relaxed using his Nen Needle to carve my summoning circles.

“Syn?” Zeno noticed I’d gotten suddenly emotional.

“Nothing.” I recovered quickly and gripped the Nen Needle tightly in my hand. It had a calming effect.

Zeno noticed the Nen Needle in my hand and smiled, “don’t summon anything just yet, that’s our last resort, leave this to Silva and I for now, you’re our safety net.”

I nodded and did as I was bid keeping back to watch over their fight as the cat demon that had shown up to protect me slowly melted into a black mist and vanished to recover from the poison that had been on the blade that had sliced through it’s tentacle.

The three of them were going all out. I watched on the sidelines in awe at their overwhelming strength. Despite how impressive they all were, I didn’t feel the same sense of impending doom I’d felt when Illumi had rescued me the other night. It made me wonder if Illumi might possibly be the strongest Zoldyck when he was lost in rage. I gripped his Nen needle tightly in my hand and smiled.

I gasped as Zeno managed to turn his overpowering nen into a purple dragon that he launched at the dark-haired phantom troupe leader in order to capture and pin him against the wall. Silva took his chance and launched a massive attack at the pair of them. I scurried to the far corner of the room to get away from the blast as all of their attacks made impact simultaneously creating a giant explosion that shook the entire building.

After the dust settled, I heard Silva’s mobile device begin to ring. He picked it up nonchalantly as if he hadn’t just destroyed a good portion of the hotel with a single attack, “Is that you, Illumi?”

My heart skipped a beat as I heard his somewhat agitated reply, “where’s my wife?”

“Right here. Unharmed.” Silva replied as he looked to me somewhat curiously seeming surprised by Illumi’s concern for me.

“Syn?” Illumi’s voice sounded from the device.

I felt my face redden. “I’m alright.”

He seemed satisfied with this before continuing on, “where’s my client.”

Silva sighed, “also right here.” He turned as Zeno and the troupe leader emerged from the rubble looking completely unscathed.

“Oh, were you just fighting?” Illumi asked in his unaffected tone. “Is he still alive?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

“Yes.” Silva sighed.

“Good, give him a message from me. We’ve disposed of the Dons. Tell him to wire the money to the aforementioned account.” Illumi stated simply before addressing me once more, “Syn?”

“Y-yes?” I didn’t like that everyone was now staring at me. Zeno had a smile on his face. Silva and the troupe leader were wearing matching expressions that were a strange cross between wary and curious.

“Come.” He said simply and I smiled softly to myself and gripped the nen needle tightly in my hand. I let it pierce my skin and concentrated on Illumi’s aura. A portal opened in front of me and I stepped through. I was swept into the dark hellish vortex.

Squeezing the Nen Needle in my hand tightly, I focused on Illumi and was spit out of the portal. Strong arms encircled me before I could hit the ground and I peered up into a familiar pair of dark soulless eyes. A bright smile lit up my face as I threw my arms around him.

“Did you know Jiji was going to ask me to help them?” I asked him curiously and attempted to wriggle out of his hold once I no longer felt dizzy from my method of travel.

He shrugged but didn’t respond and refused to release me from his hold.

“Now where are we going?” I pondered as I looked around the dark empty field, we were currently walking in heading away from a massive mansion. I assumed it was where he’d just killed the Ten Mafia Dons.

Lightning flashed in the sky overhead and a light drizzle of rain fell from the clouds above. Illumi turned his dark gaze to me, I noticed him looking at the smile on my lips and thought I saw the faintest hint of a smile tug at the corner of his lips but it was gone in an instant.

“Where do you want to go?” He asked softly.

I felt my heart flutter in my chest before shyly answering, “Kil-chan is still in Yorknew City, do you think we could stay there for a little while…maybe we could run into him and his friend again.”

“Would you like that?”

I nodded.

He didn’t respond and kept walking in the direction of Yorknew City.

“I could open a portal.” I offered.

“No.” He replied simply as he adjusted his grip on me, cradling me in his arms and continued on his way.

I snuggled into his arms with a small smile as I gave up on trying to break out of his hold. Illumi would do what he wanted. It was nice to be held in his arms like this, even if it was a little strange and I had no idea what he was doing. I had a feeling he was somehow trying to be sweet again. I snuggled closer and smiled as he seemed to tense at my closeness. His dark eyes flicked in my direction as I leaned my face closer to his.

I kissed him on the cheek and resisted the urge to laugh as his steps faltered slightly. It was a subtle misstep that anyone else would have missed. Once more I thought I saw the faintest trace of a smile tug at the corners of his lips and like before it was gone in an instant but his grip around me tightened, hugging me close.


	24. Chapter 24

I woke the next morning and jumped as I found Illumi standing next to the bed. He nearly gave me a heart attack! How long was he standing there? Why the hell was he standing there like a creeper? The corners of his lips tugged slightly downward into a frown as he noticed I’d jumped.

“Illumi, what are you doing?” I tried to fight off a yawn.

He held up a slip of paper. It looked kind of science like, akin to litmus paper, but different. It also seemed faintly like the testing strips diabetics used to test their blood. What was it?

“Uh-?” I stared at it blankly not sure what I was looking at.

“You’re ovulating.” He said it so casually I almost choked.

“What?” My voice went up an octave. He was really serious about this ‘making me feel better for lying to him by making my lie the truth’ thing. “H-How did you-?” I cut off and paled as I imagined my very terrifying husband kidnapping a doctor or fertility specialist from their home or hospital and dragging them here to run the test while I was asleep.

He dropped the strip of paper and lifted me into his arms, sheets and all. My heart thrummed with excitement as he carried me into the pristine bathroom for a relaxing bath. We spent the entire day losing ourselves in carnal pleasure.

Illumi disappeared for a short time as I finally passed out in the evening exhausted by our day’s activities. We’d destroyed the room in our frenzied passion. There were a few casualties as a few other hotel patrons thought they could complain about the noise levels and once again I’d found myself soaked in blood.

I felt someone tenderly brush a finger across my lips as I slept soundly with blood stained sheets wrapped around my blood-soaked body on what was left of the bed. Their touch was foreign and I woke with a start. A hand clapped over my mouth and another pinned my wrists above my head to keep me from summoning anything high level or clawing them to death. I opened my blood red eyes and felt a slight moment of relief as I spotted Hisoka but the relief soon turned to anger as he looked me up and down with a wicked smile.

“Syn-chan, you do look ravishing in blood.” He winked.

As I struggled to break from his hold, too tired from my earlier workout, he slowly removed his hand that was covering my mouth. “Hisoka-san, what are you doing?”

He smiled and his gaze swept around the room noting the carnage and all the broken furniture. For a moment I thought he’d make some kind of embarrassing comment about our way of lovemaking but he thought better of it and gave me an answer. “Illumi has had no interest in fighting me for as long as I’ve known him…I really think it would be fun to fight him.”

I blanched at this, Hisoka had an interesting idea of ‘fun’. Fighting Illumi when he was serious was about the farthest thing from fun I could possibly imagine. “Well if he comes back and sees you doing this while I’m naked, you’re dead.” I frowned.

Hisoka chuckled, “well he’s filling in for me right now so there’s no chance of that happening.”

“What?!”

Hisoka smiled gleefully, “I was thinking, maybe if I kidnapped Syn-chan, I could get my fight.”

“No. No. No. I am not helping you with your suicide attempt. Figure out a different plan to get your fight.” I shot him a scowl.

Hisoka smirked, “I have another interesting fight to get to, right now, but I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other very soon, Syn-chan.”

“Hisoka-san,” I groaned, “I mean it, don’t kidnap me.” I couldn’t believe how calmly those words had escaped me. Living with the Zoldyck’s had truly left me warped. I now talked about kidnapping as calmly as if it were something routine like eating a meal.

He let out a maniacal laugh that sent a shiver down my spine, “See you soon, Syn-chan.” He released his hold on my wrists and tranquilly moved toward the open balcony doors. Hisoka vanished once he stepped outside and I sat up slowly feeling sick to my stomach.

“Ugh, creepy clown.” I stiffly got off the bed and went to shut the balcony doors before trudging to the bathroom to wash all the blood off of me as it was now starting to dry and turn crusty and made me feel like I’d been rolling around in sand.

It took awhile for me to scrub myself clean. My hair had a faint pink tinge to it from all the blood that had been staining it lately, it would probably take awhile to wash out completely. I wrapped a clean bathrobe around myself and went to search the destroyed remains of our bedroom for suitable clothing to wear. No clothes that would fit me had survived our lovemaking.

I sighed and started cleaning up the room. I opened a portal to hell and kicked the corpses into it. Cerberus would love the treat. I cleaned until the early hours of morning and my body was stiff and sore from cleaning and the extensive workouts, I’d had over the past few days. Once the room was sufficiently clean, I stepped onto the balcony to watch the sun rise.

Strong arms encircled me from behind and I relaxed as I felt Illumi’s lips caress the sensitive skin on my neck. I relaxed in his arms and turned to him with a smile. “You’re back.”

His dark soulless gaze flicked back at the mostly clean room (there were some blood stains that just wouldn’t come out, the hotel would have to put down new floors and a few coats of fresh paint to cover that problem up). He looked down at me and streamed his fingers through my slightly damp pink hued hair. “You wanted to see Kil.” His tone was light and emotionless. It wasn’t really a question so I was unsure how to respond.

“I did, but it’s okay if we have to go-.” I cut off as he placed his hands on either side of my face mushing my cheeks together. I resisted the urge to sigh as I now had fish lips and my face was starting to hurt.

“You sent an imp with him?”

I nodded.

“Let’s go.” He released his hold on my face and I reached up to rub my sore cheeks.

“It’s really early.” I pointed.

He stared back at me blankly.

“I’m in a bathrobe?” I tried again.

He frowned slightly and disappeared. He returned a few minutes later and extended a bag to me. There were clothes inside. I giggled softly and went to change into the comfy clothes he’d brought me. It was a pair of stretchy black capris and a long blood red tank top. I returned to the balcony finding him where I’d left him with a blank expression on his face. Apparently, he wasn’t budging and we were going to visit Killua now.

I sighed and focused on Killua’s location. A portal opened up and Illumi scooped me into his arms before stepping into it. We appeared in a hotel room and I spotted Gon and Killua sound asleep in their beds. Their tall friend Leorio was passed out on one of the sofas.

I chanced a glance at Illumi.

He met my gaze and blinked slowly.

“Now what?” I whispered softly.

“We’re getting breakfast.” He gently set me on my feet.

“They’re asleep.” I attempted to protest before sighing as I realized he was only pausing to give me a chance to wake them up and if I didn’t, he was going to wake them up in a much more terrifying manner. “Okay.” I shook my head resisting the urge to laugh and moved toward Killua’s bed. “Kil-chan, wake up.” I gently tousled his hair.

Killua’s bright blue eyes opened and grew wide as he saw me leaning over him. “Nee-sama?” He looked so tired; it must have been a long night. I had a feeling he and Gon had been involved in whatever Hisoka was doing last night.

“Sorry to wake you.” I grimaced, “I guess we’re having breakfast now.” 

Killua looked over and spotted Illumi standing in the middle of the room with a blank expression. He paled and looked to me curiously, “can I bring Gon?”

I looked over at Illumi to which he responded with the faintest shrug that any other person would have missed. I held back a smile and turned to Killua again, “sure.”

Killua scrambled to wake up Gon. They left their tall lanky friend asleep on the sofa and the four of us awkwardly left the room. The boys were tense and I had a feeling it probably looked as if we were kidnapping them with how stiffly they were walking in front of Illumi and I. We made it a few blocks before we found a nice café. The hostess scrambled to get us a table and the four of us were seated quickly.

A server came by to take our drink orders and when she got to me Illumi spoke up surprising everyone and ordered me grapefruit juice and orange juice. I threw him a curious look; I’d never once had grapefruit juice and while I didn’t mind orange juice, I typically drank water. What was he doing? Once we were served our drinks the server took our orders. Illumi didn’t interrupt me as I ordered some toast not feeling super hungry. After our food orders were taken, Illumi excused himself from the table in true Illumi fashion, getting up with no notice. He walked right into the kitchen.

“Uh…Nee-sama, what’s Aniki doing?” Killua asked me curiously as I stared after Illumi in awe.

“I have no idea.” I frowned wondering if Illumi was alright.

“Should we be running?” Killua pondered.

“I don’t hear any screaming.” I shrugged, though Illumi was also a master assassin if he’d wanted all the people in the kitchen dead, he could definitely manage that in a second without a peep from any of them.

He returned a few moments later as if nothing had happened and sat back down. Gon, Killua and I stared at him in awe. Illumi met my gaze and casually reached over for one of my glasses of juice. He handed it to me without a word.

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked him worried and placed a hand to his forehead. I was almost tempted to smack him like he usually smacked me just for giggles but couldn’t bring myself to do it. Killua had seen enough strange things in the short time we’d been sitting at the table. He didn’t feel warm.

“Drink.” Illumi said quietly.

I sighed and drank the grapefruit juice trying not to grimace at the bitter taste. I was definitely not a fan. There was no sweetness, it was just bitter and ick. Once I finished it, he cast a look at our server and she brought me another one. Was this some kind of passive aggressive torture? Did I make him mad about something?

Gon and Killua exchanged looks but remained quiet.

Our food was brought out in a matter of minutes and a tray of a random array of foods all on individual small plates, not in a cohesive dish, was set in front of me. There were small plates and bowls with: oysters, asparagus, sunflower seeds, pomegranate seeds, mature cheeses, full fat yogurt, liver, tomato soup, black beans, walnuts, egg yolks, pineapple, salmon, and cinnamon.

I stared blankly down at the tray before turning to Illumi who was watching me expectantly as if he were waiting for me to dig into the random assortment of foods that didn’t necessarily go together. “Illumi? Did you do this?”

He nodded but didn’t feel the need to elaborate on why. He handed me a fork without a word. I noticed a piece of paper sticking out of Illumi’s pocket. I could only make out a few words written in shaky script as if whoever had written it had been under duress. The words I could make out read: ‘foods to boost fertility’.

I blanched as I realized he really did kidnap a medical professional in the middle of the night while I’d been sleeping. This ‘meal’ was a collection of foods that were supposed to help increase my chances of getting pregnant. It was incredibly sweet, in a weird way.

I couldn’t help but smile over at Illumi before picking at the foods on the tray that I liked. I was not going to eat a whole stick of cinnamon and there was no way that liver was going anywhere near my mouth but I nibbled on the other things. The four of us shared an awkward and quiet breakfast but after a while I noticed the boys beginning to relax and we were able to talk a little bit about what they’d been up to in Yorknew City.

After breakfast, we returned the boys to their hotel and I tucked them both into bed before Illumi and I headed home. Our job was done and I’d gotten to spend some time with Killua. In the back of my mind, I was still worried about the clown’s plan to kidnap me in the future but thought it best not to bring it up to Illumi just in case Hisoka was kidding. No sense in getting him murdered over a joke, even if it was in poor taste.


	25. Chapter 25

Over the next couple of weeks, Illumi continued making me eat various strange foods that were supposed to help with fertility. The drastic change in diet had made me feel a little nauseous at first but after a few days it went away. It wasn’t that I’d had an unhealthy diet to begin with, but the drastic change to raw food didn’t sit well with me. I woke up every morning to find a pregnancy test sitting on my nightstand. The first morning after we’d returned home, I’d been awoken aggressively and dragged to the bathroom by an expressionless Illumi. He handed me a test and waited expectantly for me to do something with it to which I freaked out and accidentally summoned about fifteen hell hounds that nearly destroyed our bathroom. He got the hint. After that incident, he resorted to letting me take the tests in private as I really wasn’t okay with him watching me pee on a stick.

Two weeks after we’d returned home, I woke up with a headache and felt more tired than I had when I went to sleep. I rolled over deciding I was going to go back to bed and jumped as I came face to face with Illumi. He was dressed for a contract laying on his side watching me sleep. He didn’t say a word, but his lips twitched and turned downward into a slight frown as he’d noticed me jump.

I opened my mouth to ask him if he needed help with his contract, not that he ever did but I thought it was nice to ask and liked spending time with him. My words fell away as he held up a wrapped pregnancy test. I sighed, “I still think it’s too early for these things to tell.” I frowned. It was my usual argument but as usual it was ignored. Despite being tired, I knew arguing would get me nowhere. “okay.”

I took the test from him and sat up. The moment I was upright, I felt a wave of dizziness wash over me. Illumi sat up abruptly and placed an arm around my shoulders to support me as his other smacked into my forehead with enough force I thought I heard my brain rattle at the impact.

“Ow.” I muttered.

“You feel warm.” He noted as he steadied me and kept his arm firmly around me. Just as I started to relax against him and think to myself his hand felt cool and refreshing against my hot skin, Illumi scooped me up.

The change in elevation made me feel nauseous and I closed my eyes and tried to steel myself as I suddenly felt like I was going to be sick. Illumi gently set me on my feet in our master bathroom and handed me a pregnancy test. He reluctantly left me alone in the bathroom. I started to feel nervous, if I wasn’t pregnant than that meant I’d somehow gotten sick and it was probably due to the weird raw foods Illumi kept making me eat. I prayed I was pregnant as I didn’t want Illumi to feel bad.

I took the test, capped it and set it on a paper towel on the countertop. As I was washing my hands, Illumi appeared at my side nearly giving me a heart attack. He wrapped an arm around my waist and held me tightly against him. We both appeared to be holding our breath as we stared down at the little white stick waiting for lines to appear. Two lines meant pregnant; one line meant not pregnant.

Time seemed to come to a standstill as we stared down at the test in silence. I looked down at my hands and realized I was tightly gripping Illumi’s arm as I was overcome with anxiousness. I eased my grip and glanced back at the pregnancy test. My heart skipped a beat as I saw two lines. I suddenly felt nervous as I glanced up at Illumi.

I felt something stir within me, my heart fluttered unsteadily in my chest as I saw a genuine smile on his face. Before I could say anything, he leaned forward and stole my lips in a kiss that nearly knocked me off my feet. A squeak escaped me and I hurriedly snaked my arms around his neck to keep myself upright. I kissed him back.

A squeal of surprise escaped me as he lifted me off my feet and cradled me in his arms like I were suddenly fragile. Tears welled in my eyes as I was overcome with emotion. It was mostly joy but there was also some fear and anxiousness. He was so gentle and tender as he carried me back to bed and swept the covers around me. He glanced over at the clock sitting on his nightstand and frowned looking like he didn’t want to leave.

I caught his hand in mine and offered him a smile, “I’ll be okay.” I tried to reassure him, “I’ll probably just nap most of the day until the room stops spinning.”

His frown deepened.

“We can celebrate when you get back.” I squeezed his hand in mine, “and I won’t complain about any weird foods you make me eat for the baby’s health.”

His frown disappeared and he leaned forward and kissed me sweetly. “I love you.”

My heart skipped a beat, “I love you too.” I smiled up at him.

“Rest.” He tenderly caressed my cheek. Illumi waited until I settled back into bed and closed my eyes before taking his leave.

As I settled into the soft bed, I momentarily worried Illumi might try to kidnap another medical professional to bring home but pushed it to the back of my mind. Before I knew it, I drifted back to sleep. I wasn’t entirely sure if I was exhausted because of pregnancy related things or the amount of time Illumi and I had spent in bed (well all over the West Wing is probably more accurate) the past few weeks. The nausea and dizziness were most likely pregnancy related, the headache was a toss up it was either pregnancy or exhaustion related.

It didn’t feel like I’d been asleep long before I was being awoken with a start as I felt someone swaddling me in blankets before I was lifted into a pair of strong arms. I still felt fatigued and nauseous and slowly opened my eyes. My eyes widened as I spotted Hisoka smiling down at me as if this was a completely normal thing for him to be doing.

“Morning Syn-chan.” He said in a sing song voice.

“Oh no.” I groaned and tried to push away from him, “no. You’re not kidnapping me.”

“I told you I would.” He winked.

“No. You picked the worst possible time!” I struggled to break from his hold but my body felt heavy, my head was spinning and I found I had no strength.

“Oh?” Hisoka snickered, “shall we reschedule?”

“Yes, can we reschedule to never?” I grumbled as I summoned some low-level hell hounds, it was about all I could do in my weird state of being.

“Now works better for me.” Hisoka smiled coyly before noticing the hounds surrounding us. He feigned a sigh as if this was a huge inconvenience before fixing me with a mischievous look, “I thought you’d be more cooperative, Syn-chan.”

“Like hell!” I attempted to disentangle myself from the blankets threatening to strangle me.

“They’ll go away if I knock you unconscious, right?” He mused.

“Ah! Don’t you dar-.” I cute off as he hit a pressure point at the base of my neck and I slipped into unconsciousness. Illumi was going to be livid.

….

When I came to consciousness, I found my ankles and wrists tightly bound in some kind of sticky substance that I couldn’t see unless I used gyo. I struggled against the hot pink sticky bonds but couldn’t break free no matter how much I struggled. My head was throbbing and I felt like I was going to be sick. Deciding struggling was getting me nowhere, I surveyed my surroundings. I was outside, somewhere wooded.

“Hisoka!” I yelled.

“Oh, are you awake, Syn-chan?” Hisoka’s voice sounded from somewhere above me. I managed to roll over onto my back and looked up. The homicidal clown was sitting casually on one of the thick tree branches smiling down at me.

For some reason lying on my back looking up at the tree branches around me, made my stomach lurch. I hurriedly rolled over and struggled to get to my hands and knees as I felt the contents of my stomach jump into my throat.

“Syn?” Hisoka’s voice sounded next to me as I heaved the contents of my stomach onto the ground. I felt his hands gather my hair and pull it away from my face before he secured it with one hand and placed his other hand on my back. He moved his hand on my back in slow circles in an attempt to comfort me. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m pregnant.” I grumbled once I’d finally managed to stop vomiting. I couldn’t be more than two- or three-weeks in. How much worse was this going to get?

“Hm? I thought you were just making it up before.” Hisoka frowned.

“I was.” I felt like I was going to be sick again.

“Oh.” Hisoka grinned as he figured it out, “that explains the state of your hotel room.”

My face flushed scarlet and I smacked him in the chest with my bound hands causing a smile to twist onto his lips. “Take me home! Now!” My nails elongated into lethal claws. I needed to get back home before Illumi found out I’d gone missing or he might really kill Hisoka.

He caught my wrists in his hands with ease and held them away from him. “Syn-chan, I don’t think this much stress is good for the baby.” He teased me.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have kidnapped me!” I snarled as I dug one of my claws into the palm of my hand hurriedly crafting a summoning circle.

Hisoka frowned as he noticed blood pooling in my palms and moved away as I finished the summoning circle just in time to avoid a black tentacle like tendril of darkness. Several small portals opened up on the ground all around me each spewing forth a tendril of darkness that angrily lashed out around me keeping Hisoka back. One of the tendrils of darkness nearest me encircled my wrists and I felt my bonds beginning to melt into the shadow. Hisoka was watching me with a frightening look of glee as the dark shadowy tendrils relieved me of my bonds.

I sensed a very strong very terrifying aura rapidly approaching, Hisoka turned his gleeful smile in the direction the presence had came from. His smile faltered slightly as not one but fifty of Illumi’s Nen Needles flew in his direction with a deadly accuracy. Hisoka moved fluidly to avoid them though it appeared Illumi had predicted the way he’d dodged and twenty more Nen Needles zipped in the direction he’d tried to move to evade the first onslaught within a fraction of a second.

The gleeful smile started to falter a little as Hisoka got serious to avoid the second onslaught of Nen Needles. One narrowly missed his jugular. He paused and opened his mouth to goad Illumi but was on the move again as even more Nen Needles rained down on him from above, it was as if the sky had opened up above him raining deadly Nen Needles. The shadow tendrils I’d summoned reflexively enveloped me to shield me from any crossfire.

I didn’t have to look at Illumi to know how terrifying he appeared in the moment; I could tell from the suffocating toxic aura trying to penetrate the shadow tendrils shielding me. The shadowy tendrils were quivering in terror. My heart pounded in my chest as I was gripped with panic. Was Illumi going to kill Hisoka? Would he get hurt? I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around myself. My head was starting to throb again and a wave of dizziness washed over me. I felt like I was going to be sick again.

The shadowy tendrils suddenly shivered and vanished. I could faintly hear the deep roar of the creature they belonged to let out a wail. It echoed out of each of the small portals on the ground around me. A gasp escaped me as I was suddenly lifted into a familiar embrace.

“Illumi!” I squeaked as I trembled in his arms, “I’m sor-.” I opened my mouth to apologize but he stole my words away with a hard kiss.

“I told you not to disappear again.” There was a slight quiver in his usual toneless voice.

I wrapped my arms tightly around him and kissed him sweetly, “Thank you for finding me.”

He blinked once and I noticed his expression soften, “always.”

“You didn’t kill, Hisoka, did you?” I asked him curiously.

Illumi frowned slightly as he shook his head. I glanced around the clearing, there were over a thousand of his Nen Needles sticking out of the earth and trees. I saw no sign of Hisoka though and assumed he’d ran away and hoped he wouldn’t try to use me in his schemes again. He cradled me in his arms, his dark eyes swept over me and I noticed him pressing his lips together in a deeper frown.

“What’s wrong?” He stared at me intently.

“Huh?” I nearly bit my tongue as he suddenly pressed his forehead to mine nearly cracking my skull in the process.

He frowned again and continued staring at me waiting for me to answer.

“I have a headache,” which he made worse with his affectionate way of checking my temperature by bashing our skulls together, “and I feel a little nauseous.” I admitted with a sigh, hoping this wasn’t going to last the whole pregnancy.

He nodded his understanding, “let’s go home.”


	26. Chapter 26

Illumi canceled a few contracts to stay home with me after Hisoka kidnapped me. He was always protective of me, but this was a new level, he’d never canceled a contract before. Zoldyck’s didn’t cancel contracts. Luckily Zeno took them over so as not to ruin the family’s reputation. It had been a few weeks since the incident, my morning sickness only got worse. It seemed every food and every smell made me sick to my stomach. I’d lost a few pounds which was quite concerning. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I couldn’t seem to keep any food down.

After a few weeks of us being holed up in our private West Wing, the rest of the Zoldyck’s grew curious. Zeno showed up, genuinely concerned and was the only member of the Zoldyck family Illumi would let get close to me. His parents were turned away at the door each time one of them would try to inquire as to what was going on. We hadn’t told any of them yet but I had a feeling Zeno knew what was going on.

“Syn?” Illumi’s soft voice sounded next to me and I felt his hand attempt to pat me on the head and smooth my hair back. He was much too rough, it felt akin to a toddler petting a dog or cat applying way too much pressure and dragging back my skin a little.

“Ow.” I mumbled softly and slowly opened my eyes. My heart skipped a beat as I found his face hovering just in front of mine.

His lips were pressed into a thin line, his black soulless eyes were blank as usual but his expression seemed almost concerned. “You should try to eat something.” He offered me a hand to sit up.

I didn’t even have the energy to sit up. The mention of food made my stomach churn, “no, it’s just going to make me sick.” I whined, I was so tired of being sick, I didn’t think I could throw up anymore, I couldn’t take it.

His frown seemed to grow. “You need to eat.”

I knew he was right but I was absolutely miserable and it seemed pointless. No matter what I ate, I got sick and threw it all back up. In protest, I grumbled incoherently and tried to roll away from him. I didn’t even have the energy to roll away.

Illumi frowned again and lifted me off the bed.

“Ah! Wh-what are you doing?” I gasped as the room started to spin a little.

He didn’t feel the need to answer me and carried me downstairs to the kitchen. Without a word he carried me into the kitchen and set me down on the countertop. I noticed every other inch of the countertop was covered with plates of various strange things.

Next to where he set me down was a plate with pickle spears and peanut butter. There was a plate of various cut up melons, a plate with what looked like a hamburger between two ice cream sandwiches. It was an odd assortment of things that didn’t appear to go together.

“Illumi…what is this?” I asked him warily as I looked at all the stomach-churning concoctions.

“Common pregnancy cravings.” He replied simply and picked up the plate with the pickle spears and peanut butter. My stomach churned as he picked one of them up, dipped it in the peanut butter and offered it to me.

I hesitated.

Illumi stared at me blankly and I had a feeling if I waited too much longer, he’d resort to using force.

I reluctantly took a bite. It tasted weird. I managed to chew a few times but when I went to swallow it, my body reacted violently and rejected it. Illumi reacted quicker than I did and a clean small white trashcan appeared in front of me for me to vomit in. Tears welled in my eyes; I’d been throwing up so much it was now starting to hurt when I did.

Illumi waited for me to stop vomiting before gently rubbing my back. He set the trashcan aside and reached for another plate. It was the strange hamburger between two ice cream sandwiches. He offered it to me, his expression still blank.

I hesitated again. More tears welled in my eyes now that my stomach was starting to hurt. I tentatively took a bite and instantly vomited. Illumi reacted quick enough to get the trashcan to me.

My tears fell freely as I wretched.

Illumi gently rubbed my back. He waited until I stopped before setting the trashcan aside and reaching for another plate.

“Illumi.” I begged him helplessly, “please, no more.”

He paused, and for the briefest of moments I saw a slip in his blank emotionless mask. It looked like he was in pain. He clenched his fists. His dark gaze flicked to my abdomen. “If it doesn’t stop hurting you, I’ll cut it out.”

I felt a fleeting moment of panic and instinctively wrapped my arms around my stomach, “Illumi!”

He looked conflicted. He picked up a glass and it shattered in his hand. I jumped as glass clattered to the floor in a shower of blood. My stomach let out a soft rumble as I watched the blood drip to the floor.

“I-Illumi? Are you alright?” I asked worried.

He turned to me and I thought I saw his eyes widen for a fraction of a second as I felt like my mouth was watering. A heavenly aroma wafted in the air around me, it was the first time in weeks I felt hungry. I blanched as I realized I’d become ravenous after smelling his blood. What the hell was wrong with me?

“Syn?” He appeared at my side worried.

“Something is wrong with me.” I groaned and tried to pull away from him.

He looked at me blankly, not understanding.

I tried again to pull away from him, “why does your blood smell good?” I closed my eyes and pressed my hands to my head.

Illumi was quiet.

The delightful aroma grew more potent. I felt like I was drowning in it and my stomach let out a growl. It was overpowering now, the thought of it made me want to gag but for some reason my body was reacting as if it was just what I needed to consume. My mouth was practically watering. I opened my eyes and jumped as I realized Illumi was holding his bleeding hand in front of my face.

“Wh-what are you doing?” I stared at him in awe.

There was the briefest crack in his emotionless mask, a glimmer of worry, fear and desperation, “try it.”

“What?!” I attempted to pull away from him, but I didn’t have the energy.

He easily caught me with his free hand, sliding it around me and keeping a firm hand pressed to my back halting my escape. His bloody hand drifted closer to my lips. I frantically shook my head and pressed my lips together.

“Please.” His voice was so soft, and cracked with emotion.

I felt my heart crumble. This was hurting him. He couldn’t bear to see me in this state and he was desperate enough to try anything. I clenched my eyes tightly shut not wanting to see. Illumi lightly pressed his bloody hand to my lips. Feeling repulsed, I hesitantly parted my lips. Blood spilled into my mouth and I resisted the urge to gag at the thought of what we were doing. The taste was neither good nor bad, it was somewhat metallic, a little salty with a mineral like flavor. Nervously I swallowed, and held my breath waiting for the instant gut reaction of retching to happen.

After a moment, I felt a fluttering in my belly as if the tiny fetus growing inside of me were content. Realizing I’d yet to vomit, Illumi cupped his hand and tilted it slightly spilling more blood between my lips. It took a moment to fight back my own repulsion enough to swallow again. Another moment and I felt another fluttering in my belly and let out a groan of disgust.

I opened my eyes and threw Illumi a helpless look, “I don’t understand.”

He looked thoughtful for a moment. His hand on my back, keeping me from fleeing, gently slid upward and he traced his fingers over the raised-up letters that had been carved in my back. The letters spelled out ‘DEMON’ in angry raised slashes. I had a feeling he was hinting at the fact demons usually consumed souls or blood as the life essence or ‘soul’ was usually in blood. Was I truly a demon?

A single tear slipped down my cheek. Illumi wiped it away with a bloody thumb, drawing my gaze to his. His usually blank, soulless eyes were filled with an emotion I wasn’t used to seeing him express, love. Even if I were a demon, he would still love me.

He offered me his hand again and I grimaced. I didn’t want to drink his blood for the rest of my pregnancy. Noticing my reservations, he frowned and thought for a moment before moving away from me and heading to the refrigerator. I watched curiously as he seemed to be looking for something. After a moment he returned with a plate of raw meat.

He set the plate down next to me and cut off a small piece before holding it up to my lips. I was a little hesitant but took a tentative bite. I reflexively cringed waiting for my body to reject it as I chewed quickly. Nothing happened. I swallowed the bite and waited a moment. There wasn’t a pleasant fluttering like there had been when I consumed Illumi’s blood but it went down without issue and I felt a little better.

Illumi looked relieved. He lifted me into his arms without warning and carried me to our small dining table in the kitchen. I looked up at him curiously as he placed me in a chair and pushed my chair in for me without a word. He walked back to the plate of raw meat and cut them up into bite size pieces before returning to the table. He set the plate in front of me with a fork. Tenderly he kissed the top of my head before shuffling away.

I took a few bites of the raw meat and watched him warily as he shuffled away looking dead on his feet. He dropped onto the sofa in the living room. My heart hurt, he’d been so worried about me he’d run himself ragged trying to find ways to get me to eat and trying to take care of me when I was sick. I knew he’d be upset if I left one of the only foods the baby would let me consume to tend to him so quietly finished my plate before retreating to the living room.

Illumi was sound asleep on the sofa, his long silken ebony hair spilling over the edge. He looked somewhat like a fallen angel when he slept. There was something celestial and otherworldly about him. I smiled to myself as I draped the warm throw blanket, that had been resting on the back of the couch, over top of him.

A soft squeal of surprise escaped me as his arms caught me as I leaned over him to cover him up. I found myself being pulled into his arms. The blanket fell over top of us. Illumi held me in his arms, sound asleep and I couldn’t help but smile.

I hugged him back as best I could in our current position before laying my head atop his chest, “I love you.”


	27. Chapter 27

Rather than being like a normal pregnant woman who went to regular checkups and ultrasound appointments, my husband decided it was best to kidnap medical professionals and drag them to our home against their will. After the crisis of finding food I could eat without being violently ill was solved, I would wake from naps at odd times to find different doctors in our home. It was quite alarming and probably not great for the baby that I woke with a heart attack every single time.

I woke and hesitantly opened my eyes wondering who I’d find at my bedside and was relieved and surprised to find Zeno sitting next to me. He offered me a warm smile and tenderly swept my pale hair back.

“Jiji? What are you doing here?” I asked in awe.

“My grandson has been keeping my granddaughter in law holed up in here for weeks without telling anyone anything, I’m concerned.” He pointed before looking around as if to make sure we weren’t being listened to, “not to mention, there have been a string of disappearances in the nearby towns, all of which happen to be medical professionals that specialize in obstetrics.” He looked down at my still flat belly with a knowing smile, “any news you’d like to share?”

I felt my face grow hot. “We were waiting to tell everyone.” After the food scare and how tired I was all the time, we were both worried about the pregnancy. Though I had a feeling our worries were slightly different, Illumi seemed worried about me and the toll the pregnancy would have on me, I was worried about our unborn child. The doctors that had seen me all said the baby was healthy, though a bit odd.

Zeno’s smile grew. “So, it’s true?”

He looked so happy, I couldn’t help but smile and nod.

“How far along?”

Time was a funny thing when growing a demon parasite, I’d lost nearly all concept of time since I spent most of my time sleeping. I knew I’d been holed up in the West Wing for several weeks but I wasn’t sure how many exactly. The only reason I knew how far along I was, was thanks to Illumi kidnapping doctors. I reached over to my nightstand and opened the drawer. I’d had my first ultrasound yesterday and the surprisingly nice doctor told me I was at 8 weeks.

“Eight weeks.” I extended the ultrasound photo to him. It was hard to make out since the fetus was so small. It looked like a somewhat fat alien peanut though there was a faint red glow where the eyes would be and it did sort of look like there were black inky shadows around the oddly shaped peanut. The doctor had thought that was odd but I had a feeling that had more to do with me, my husband and our demonic baby not being like ‘normal’ people. None of the doctors Illumi had kidnapped had any answers about my strange diet or why I was so ungodly tired and slept all the time.

Zeno smiled, “that’s wonderful, congratulations.” He studied the ultrasound for a moment his eyes lingering on the faint red glow and the inky tendrils. After another moment he handed it back to me.

“Thanks, Jiji.” I smiled as I looked to the demonic little peanut before putting the photo back in my nightstand.

“Why is Illumi kidnapping medical professionals? Are you having complications?” He asked worriedly.

Before I could respond, Illumi’s voice sounded from the top of the stairs startling us both, “Jiji, what are you doing here?” His tone lacked any warmth and was completely devoid of emotion, though I could sense some apprehension.

Zeno offered Illumi a small smile, “I was worried about Syn.”

Illumi’s dark soulless gaze fell on me and I offered him a reassuring smile. He relaxed though it was nearly impossible to tell and from the wary look on Zeno’s face I realized he had no idea Illumi had relaxed and was no longer posing a threat. Illumi crossed the room and sat on the side of the bed beside me. Unconsciously he reached for my hand, capturing it in his.

Zeno finally relaxed as he realized Illumi wasn’t angry with him for being here. “Are you having complications with the pregnancy?” He asked again.

I looked to Illumi, he gave zero reaction, leaving it up to me to decide if I wanted to share or not. I smiled up at him before looking to Zeno, “it was a little rough at first but we got it sorted out.” Now the only real ‘complication’ was how tired I was all the time, especially in the daytime. Our demonic parasite seemed to despise the sun and refused to let me function and be awake when the sun was up.

Illumi’s expression shifted slightly, it was nearly impossible to perceive and I was sure Zeno had missed it. There was a hint of concern in his dark gaze as he looked down at me. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. He must have noticed how tired I felt as he pulled the blankets up around me and reached out to adjust my pillow in a more comfortable position without a word.

Zeno looked to him with a small smile before getting to his feet, “I’m happy for you two. I’ll come visit soon.”

As he turned to leave, I called out to him, “Jiji?”

Illumi looked to me curiously as Zeno turned back to us, “what is it?”

“Next time you visit, do you think you could bring Alluka with you?” I asked hopefully. It had been a while since I’d been allowed to see her and because of how odd my pregnancy was Illumi didn’t like me leaving our wing. Sometimes the tired spells hit me like a ton of bricks and would knock me out wherever I was, which led to me nearly drowning in the bathtub. Luckily Illumi had been home when it happened, but after that he’d become even more watchful and protective.

Zeno smiled softly, “I’ll see what I can do.” If anyone could get Alluka out of her prison, it was Zeno.

“Thanks, Jiji.”

Once Zeno was gone, Illumi placed a hand to my forehead and managed to avoid concussing me in the process. He was being much gentler of late. He stopped taking contracts but would sometimes disappear for short periods at a time, I wondered if he was still sneaking off for relationship advice to the homicidal clown. As much as Illumi liked to say they were merely allies, I had a feeling they were friends.

“Sleep.” He urged me quietly as my eyelids began to leaden.

“I’m really tired of sleeping.” I struggled to keep my eyes open.

He gently pet my head, smoothing my hair back in a lulling manner.

“Illumi?” I was so close to slipping from consciousness.

“Hm?”

“I want to tell Alluka and Killua before anyone else.” I murmured softly as I fought off sleep.

His hand left my head and I got zero response.

“Illumi?” I opened my eyes, he was gone. I had a bad feeling he was going to kidnap Killua and bring him home.

The demon parasite decided now was not the time for me to be worrying about anything else and I lost consciousness.

…

When next I woke, it was the middle of the night. Illumi was nowhere to be seen and my stomach let out a grumble of protest. Demon spawn was hungry. Sighing, I got out of bed before poking my still flat belly, “hey, listen you, I’m tired of being tired, and I really want to eat something that isn’t raw and bloody.”

My stomach growled louder. I kept a firm grip on the stairwell as I headed down to the kitchen. It was filled with raw meat. I grabbed some raw steak cubes and grimaced as I nibbled at them. The first thing I was doing after popping this kid out was scarfing down a salad or twenty. Once I’d had enough raw meat to satisfy the demon peanut, I headed to the sofa to wait for Illumi.

I paused as I reached the living room, I thought I heard muffled voices from the hall. Had someone’s butlers gotten into our wing? Peering down the dark hall, I didn’t see anything out of place. Quietly, I crept down the hall listening for anything out of the ordinary. As I reached the door to the torture chamber, I heard more muffled voices.

Hesitantly I pushed open the door. The four doctors Illumi had brought to see me over the past few weeks were all tied up and gagged. They all looked around blindly in the darkness as they heard the door open. I shook my head, shut the door and retreated to the living room with a groan. “Nope. Not today.”

The short trek from the torture chamber where all my doctors were currently residing to the living room made me feel exhausted. I sighed and dropped onto the sofa and stared at the fireplace. It would be winter soon. Imagining Illumi and I snuggling in front of a cozy warm fire brought a smile to my lips. We hadn’t really used our fireplace much since our marriage got off to a bit of an awkward start but now that things were different and we knew each other’s feelings perhaps we could spend more time together doing ‘normal’ couple things.

I glanced down at my still flat belly, “hey, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make me hibernate through the winter so your father and I can have at least one night cuddling in front of the fire…please…”

I felt a faint fluttering in my tummy and imagined the tiny demonic peanut nodding its understanding. I giggled softly to myself and laid back on the couch with my hands resting on my belly.

“Thank you for listening.” I smiled as I unconsciously rubbed my belly. A yawn escaped me and I drifted to sleep.

…

I woke with a start as I felt strong arms cradle me and felt myself being lifted from the couch. My blood red eyes fluttered open and I relaxed as I spotted Illumi looking down at me in concern. “Where were you?” I asked while fighting off a yawn.

He frowned slightly at my obvious exhaustion, “I brought Kil.”

“Huh?” I blanched, “Illumi, you didn’t kidnap him did yo-?”

“He did.” I heard Killua’s disgruntled voice sound from somewhere behind Illumi. I peered over his shoulder and spotted Gon and Killua bound tightly and lying face first on the floor.

“Illumi!” I groaned and wriggled out of his hold. I untied Killua and turned to Gon only to realize he was unconscious, “what happened to Gon?!”

“He was noisy.” Illumi replied as if it were obvious earning a scowl from Killua.

I shook my head and helped Killua untie Gon. Once Gon was untied and we were sure he wasn’t dead, Killua hugged me.

“Are you okay Nee-sama? You’re paler than usual and you look tired.” His voice was laced with concern.

“I’m alright.” I reassured him with a smile and ruffled his pale silvery white hair. “You’ve been practicing Nen, did you find yourself a teacher?” I asked curiously, the imp I’d sent with him had picked up on a lot of activity over the past few weeks.

Killua glanced over at the imp on his shoulder, using Gyo to see him, “this thing can tell you all that?”

I nodded.

“That’s pretty amazing.” Killua turned away from the imp, “I guess she’s a teacher, she’s a bit annoying though.” He shrugged before looking over at Illumi warily, “how come we’re here?”

“We have news.” Illumi spoke up somewhat cryptically.

Killua’s bright blue eyes widened a little before turning to me, “is everything alright?” He asked worriedly.

I couldn’t help but laugh a little at this, “yes.”

“What’s the news?” He pondered as Gon began to stir awake.

Illumi wrapped an arm around me, pulling me against him as we faced the boys.

Gon rubbed his eyes and looked around in confusion before his gaze fell on me, “ah! It’s Killua’s Nee-san.” He beamed before looking from me to Killua, “what news?”

“Killua’s going to be an uncle.” I smiled as I leaned into Illumi’s warm comforting embrace.

“You’re pregnant?!” Killua asked in a daze his mouth dropping open.

I nodded.

Gon and Killua grinned and Illumi released me as the boys swarmed toward me to engulf me in a big hug. I hugged the boys and looked over at Illumi. There was a faint ghost of a smile pulling at the corners of his lips but it was gone the moment Gon and Killua looked in his direction.

“Do you know what you’re having?” Killua asked me curiously.

As he asked me, I saw an image flash across my mind’s eye of a little girl with long black as night hair and glowing blood red eyes. She looked so much like Illumi, but with my eyes. I couldn’t help but smile, “we don’t know for sure, but I think a girl.”

Illumi looked to me curiously, his faint nearly undetectable smile back in place. Killua glanced over at Illumi and his eyes widened. He must have noticed Illumi was smiling.

“Have you thought of names?” Gon asked oblivious to everything else.

I hadn’t really, I’d been too sick for the first few weeks and then in hibernation mode ever since I found food I could eat. Illumi surprised me by answering, “Mara.” It was the name of a type of sleep demon that were known to cause nightmares. There was a faint fluttering in my belly as if the demonic parasitic peanut in my womb seemed to agree with it.

“I think it’s perfect.” I smiled and unconsciously placed my hand on my flat abdomen.

The boys hung out for a bit before insisting they needed to get back to their training before their teacher got worried. The imp on Killua’s shoulder was able to give me an exact location and I managed to open a portal for them with little effort. After the boys left, Illumi reached for me as if he were going to try and sweep me off my feet. I placed my hand on his chest, halting him.

He looked down at me curiously.

“Are we going to talk about the people you have locked in our home?” I pondered.

He shrugged.

“Wouldn’t it be better if we looked for a doctor we liked and went to their office regularly or even found a doctor we liked who does home visits…rather than kidnap a bunch of them?” I asked.

Illumi shrugged again.

I sighed.

He is expression shifted, his lips pulling into a barely noticeable frown, “…I’ll set them free…”

“You will?” I asked in awe.

He nodded.

“Like let them go or kill them?” I blanched as I realized his phrasing could be open to interpretation.

He was apparently done with the topic as he gently brushed my hand away from his chest before sweeping me off my feet. I let out a soft gasp of surprise at the sudden change in elevation and wrapped my arms around him to keep myself upright.

He carried me up to our bedroom in silence and tucked me into bed. Rather than disappear to do whatever he’d been doing while I was lost in hibernation, he sat on the edge of the bed and tenderly streamed his fingers through my pale hair. “…do you really think it will be a girl?” He asked softly as he placed a hand atop my abdomen.

I saw the image of the little girl once more and smiled, “I do and I think she really likes the name Mara.”

He smiled and leaned forward stealing my lips in a sweet kiss.


End file.
